State Of MindI feel this group describes me well. I certainly FEEL both young and old....often simultaneously!
I'm young at heart. I've never really felt my age, which perhaps stems from the fact that a lot of people perceive me as much younger than I am. Most days I still feel like a girl who's waiting to enter adult hood.
You'll find me sitting indian style on the floor more often than you'll find me sitting lady-like on the sofa. I still ride scooters and roll around in the grass with my kiddos. I still drink juice from a box and eat cheerios without milk. I'm usually the ONLY parent still climbing around on the equipment at the playground. I do long for those days I can relax on the bench with the other mothers, but I don't have the heart to deny my little guy when he asks me to "play" with him. I'm not complaining...I feel fortunate that I'm still young and healthy enough to keep up with my boys while they're young.
Ironically, despite all this, some days I look in the mirror and wonder where the years have gone. I can see father time beginning to make his presence known....and right on my face of all places! lol. Since turning 36, I have started to see the beginning effects of being middle-aged, and while I don't feel I'm a vain person, I don't like it. I'm not ready to look or feel my age...I'm not ready to grow old no matter how "gracefully" the growth may be.
I guess I keep waiting to FEEL like a 36 year old woman, but I'm starting to wonder if that'll ever happen. Will I always feel young inside as my body continues growing older and older? In a way, I feel that my body is betraying me....but, perhaps it's my mind which deceives me.
LG76 36-40, F 9 Responses 6 Jun 4, 2012