I am so desperately lonely. I really miss my son, and my husband is in another state. I'm bipolar and on meds, but at times I still feel like crawling under a rock. Sometimes I wish I was never born. I don't talk about it because I don't want people to think I'm throwing myself a pity party. It just gets so hard to hold it together all the time, but I don't really have a choice. I have responsibilities and have to go on whether I want to or not. Sometimes my chest hurts so bad I feel like I'm having a heart attack and can't breath. I feel phisically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I try to take it one day at a time but I get so overwhelmed at times I feel like giving up. I know that's selfish and I won't do it because I have kids, but that doesn't take the thoughts and feelings away. I feel like crying but I don't want my kids to see me upset. I just don't know how much longer I can do this.