Should their eyes meet mine I'd at least say hi

T he probability of said eye contact however might be rather low and it could just simply be a "ships in the night" scenario. I'd call that "good enough terms." One or two might stop me for an awkward "Heeey yoooou! hoow's it going? You look good. You dating anyone new?" chat. The prescribed words. Pretty light. Nothing too heavy, dramatic or serious. Sad to say, but most of my previous relationships were pretty immature.

 

As I grow older I find that I don't have the luxury of making shallow relationships anymore. I find people who I end up having respect for. People I actually like and not just those who I've been putting up with. These relationships are not so easily discarded, because an actual friendship forms. One of those stable ones where words and actions are discussed and understood.

It's often argued that if you really loved someone then you can't be friends with them after the relationship. If you can then it means the relationship was "false" I think that's very black and white. I know it's true that physical intimacy will form body memories and one will remember what it's like with that person and that's why it's silly to assume that you'll be instant friends after a break-up. That's just chemical and not permanent. Saying that it would around forever is like saying re-bounds work as relationships, or saying that being in a relationship right after the last one will somehow convince your ex that your over them. It's all fake and only for show.

I think grown-up emotions can understand and comprehend both realities. They don't equal each other out. More and more I've been reading that a psychologically stable mind views love as a subjective experience-one as how you personally comprehend and understand it, a relationship that is measured by how each individual contributes and not by any expectations of the other in the relationship. One based on choices that each person makes themselves and by which each person is responsible for their own actions. So after a break-up one would see the choices they made, see the choices the other made-and only hold themselves accountable for how they acted or reacted. Since they could never control the other person in the first place. Therefore ones fate is not sealed into being a certain way.