My Arrest

first of all let me say i feel i have been shafted in this farce of being arrested and charges filed. i was arrested almost a year and half ago for selling cdis x2 counts across the street from an elementary school.  each count carried a 4-life sentence. i have never been arrested in my life. doesnt selling cdis mean money or something exchanged hands? cause i am guilty of TRYING to sell 2 pills. but never ever recieved payment for either only excuses that they were ditched because of police chasings. i am guilty of GIVING my neighbor a few of my loratabs for pain in the months before he had his knee replacement and was in major pain trying to walk around. i am NOT guilty of what i was charge with. it all started when this friend at the time of my sons stole almost a whole bottle of loratabs from me in october 08. i called out the cops and filed a report. they called and harrasted me and threatened me so i went downtown and filed a report. 2  days later i was arrested for selling 2 pills, back in july, the day before i had surgery and the day after..funny huh..but no mention of my missing loratabs. that was what they were for my feet since my surgery. i have been clean off hard drugs for over 20 years and am a self admitted pot head. i use it to help me wiht my stress since i have a panic anxiety disorder. its my fall back when my meds dont work. the first drug test was the day of court when i met my pro. officer and i self admitted to having smoked pot the night before because i was so scared of going to court and the whole process being as i have never been arrested before and didnt know what to expect. i never got in trouble before. i didnt know all the ins and outs of the law. they said they had audio on me but never let me hear it. was told i could go to a prelim but i would lose my plea and the sentences were to outrageous to take a chance on being made an example of. 2 felony counts carrying 4-life each for someone who had never been arrested in her life. i am disabled and on housing.


last week i was given a drug test that showed a faint line of postivie for meth and thc. i adamantly refuse them becuase i have NOT  been around pot smokers, smoke or smoked in over 3 months. i have 3 self addmissions for the last year and a promise to not give in again. i am on reprimand and my officer treats me like a pariah. she said be honest. i was. she didnt have to drug test me ,i tole her straight up. she has accused me of bringing in someone elses pee that may have had drugs in duh why would i do that? it was my pee! she seems almost smug  that she thinks i may have used and lied about it. but i have not and dont understand why these tests came back faintly positive as she did 4 tests. i have talked to my doctor and the hospital and other probation officers and was told there was nothing i was taking that could cause these results. and that there is no such thing as a false positive on the tests they use. i was told by a friend that i can demand a hair test if it comes back like that again. i am gonna do that but i dont knwo if i have to pay for that or not. i cannot afford it if i do and there i go getting shafted again. she said if i comes back even faintly next month i am going to jail and in front of the judge. i will lose my housing if this happens and on a fixed income i cannot afford full rent. i waited a year just scraping by to get in here and i like it here and dont wanna lose it!.


i am at a loss of what to do now and where to go for help. there is not help from my officer...she assumes i am doing drugs again including one i REFUSE to do even if it was offered free. i have a hatred for all hard drugs since i cleaned up when i found out i was pregnant wiht my son 20 years ago. i dont even drink. my only vice is pot and like i said i have been avoiding that like the plague so i dont get in anymore trouble. i want off supervised! i want my life back! my sentence is defered and will be off my record when over i was told.i am scared and dont know where to turn or what to do. all i can do is trust in jesus that my next tests will prove my innocence. even if they come clean tho i will still be carring that stigma over my head to her. she used to be really nice. now she acts like she is just looking for a reason to put me in jail. even told me i wasnt worth the time to bother with anymore and is tempted to put me in front of the judge now for no reason cause she dont feel like messing with me anymore. i self admitted when i was wrong, i have not indulged and dont plan too anymore..i do my hours at her office every month under her supervision and she has the gall to tell me i goof off 90% of the time which is a like cuase i bust me arse to stay busy when i am there. i dont know what she wants from me or what she is trying to prove treating me like this. i have learned my lesson. please let her leave me alone!

luvinmomofone1 luvinmomofone1
41-45, F
4 Responses Feb 12, 2010

yea crappy days are sooo in today! at least my son visited me at home today, tommorow morning i have to go do some hours for the ***** of a po at 8am. thank god i am disabled and can only do 2 1/2 hours at a time on my feet. so i do my hours once a week. i just hope she dont keep me on supervised longer than my less than one year i have left or make me do hours longer than i have to pay for my fine for....she can do that i was told

thats fine, you sound the same as me, since i have being going through this crap,i have hardly gone out, just feel crappy, but im starting to have my better days. Good luck and keep in touch

thanks for the support, i am trying to bide my time and stay out of trouble. i just want this nightmare to be over so i can get on with my life, its to the point that i dont leave my house or try to make new friends in fear of getting into more trouble not of my making. even my therapist comes to my home. thank you for your comment

o.k i hear what your saying, I think you need to realise that nomatter what you do, work hard stay off drugs etc, this person just wont support you, so my advice is, chin up, and do the right thing for yourself, make sure you dont use drugs anymore and just do what you need to do, then hopefully in time you will be able to rebuild your life.<br />
Im on bail at the moment, some women accused me of assulting her, luckily i have a witness to prove that i didnt, but this hasnt stopped the police now taking me to court in may trying to get me done for assult, im very scared too, i have never been in trouble in my entire life, i have been ill through this but im just waiting now to see what will happen, im sure i wont go to prison, but maybe a fine or community service at the worst, but i feel hard done by as the allegations were untrue, and its got this far. so take it from me, keep clean,be good and bide your time. keep me posted i would be interested what happens plus someone to have a chat to that is going through this!