Ready To Give Up... But I Cant Say It... HelpStory
We have been married for 13 years he cheated twice with my first cousin left me and my boys twice. This all strarted Dec 2009.
I accepted when he admitted hoping he would change found out they were still communicating on march 2010 and aug 2010 some aruguements happend and he decided to leave me and my 2 two boys it was so hard for me and sept my mom passed away i was still grieving for my husband and the cousin who i thought was a sister to me.
After 6 months he asked me if he can come back home. First time he came back i accepted him hoping we could fix it. We went to counselling after 5 months and he realized still he cant UNDO the feelings for her he was not over her. He said when he came back the first time
They"ended" the affair.
. He left the second time i told him
I can no longer coexist with him and sure enough since he was lonely he reached out to her and they were together again my cousin was married to. and later on he told me by writing he wants to move on his life with her.
Once i finally admitted to my family the reason we were separted and who the OW.
That was a big fiasco... Ao many people got hurt and he said after 2 yrs he feel guilty and realized the mistake he did and NOW wants to come back to me. He said if i find it unfair and cannot take him
Back he would understand and maybe we should file for divorce and i said yeah we an file for it and then he changed his mind again he is very unstable BUT very honest to his feelings he still needs to heal from her bec he was really in love to her... Im so lost and so hurt
When he left 2nd time i tried to move on and focus and prioritize my kids now he sees me im ok and realized thinga he is pulling me down again im back with no peace of mind and sleepless nights...
Help really need advise..