Appologise For Offending

This is true i am on the sex offenders list, not my ultimate goal in life, i am not at all happy about it, it can destroy your life if one would let it. but i can not let that happen that is not me.
Sex offenders are human beings to, if i could choose again i would not have done what i did, which was at the lower end of the scale, well that's what the judge thought when he gave me 2 and a half years.
I am sorry for causing pain to the people involved the wider circle my family my old friends, what else can i do, can i say ? nothing, all i can do is now live my life the best i can with what i have come to learn, even try and help others with what i have learnt.
I will not be re offending again, emotionally causing anymore pain, huh that's one to be wary of, 'emotionally causing anymore pain' we can all cause others emotional pain while being caught up in our ego's, being self righteous, i now ask myself this question "What would love do now", people think if you tell them your truth about something about them, they most often think, it is you who have caused this pain they now feel, or will 'react' in a way that will now continue to cause themselves emotional pain and feel justified they are and it is your fault, No! all i said was "please think before sending me a email, i didn't say, don't ever write me an email again". but people get 'Hurt' through wrong thinking, that is, does it take them where they want to go, ie still be in contact, still be supportive, loving, hopefully encouraging ? no! they have reacted not created who they choose to be.
Which is what sex offenders do, they get over taken often by the physical urges that men can get and they get off on it or use it as a feel good drug, it is like alot of addictions, that seeking that next high, needing more and more, more deviant more extreme more risky, trouble is this is often happening with out the offender being consciously aware if they where living life consciously they wouldn't be offending.

No sex offender i have come across was ever happy they have been the 'first cause' of anthers emotional pain most are devastated, men are still not proprerly taught how to manage these urges and how to ask themselves the question 'Who do i choose to be" is it this person, this person i am about to be ?.
I now choose to be someone who is thoughtful and kind someone who takes full responsibility for ones self, ones own behaviors, does this behaviour serve me, can i change what i'm doing etc, always asking the questions for self analysis. to help now always create the highest being that i can be, i didn't know how before.
I know so many men have re offended i understand being on the list but another part of me feels sad, but to bad for me that's something i'm going to have to cope with now as a person who has offended against someone you have to cope with alot of rejection, "there is something wrong with you" there was, there is not now, but we are always judged by our past it never lets go especially not this, all i can do to help maintain my feeling of self worth is do my best every day in what i think say and do, just getting through the day is an accomplishment, then some days heaps gets done, but believe me men who have committed a sex offence need help feeling bad about what they did, they to have to live with the feeling of guilt shame and rejection being ostrosised, after math.
If that is of any help, we suffer everyday to one way or another.
I am sorry for what i did i appologise to the being i offended against i hope they one day can find some understanding into sex offenders through understanding anothers path you can find forgivness just arrives, unless it doesn't that to is a testament of the other, hate is good for no one.
I do not wish that on anyone, a councilor told me once "what would happen if every one had to walk down the main street of town with a plaque that told all others there darkest actions" . Be kind, me.
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 17, 2013

X2, I can't undo whats been done, I can't help the people I have hurt. I Just have to make sure it never happens again.

You are very brave to say all this. I'm a sex addict but not an offender. I want to work with sex offenders because most people hate you and I don't. Your a sex addict like me and a human being like me. Everyone deserves help and love no matter what they did. If I hadn't found recovery when I did I could have very well been where you are now. Don't beat yourself up. Just remember that now you know there is at least one person who doesn't hate you.