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Lazy Hubby What to Do....

Hi,

First let me say I do not believe in divorce unless a spouse has cheated.

When I met my hubby and for about a year after he was the most wonderful man in the world. He would help with EVERY chore on a regular basis, plus he went to work everyday he had to.

Now that we moved to the same area as his family...well things couldn't be worse (figure of speech)

He goes to work each day for 12 hours...I think that is enough in one day....so I do not expect anything from him during that time. The thing is in one months time EVERY month he has 2 weeks off....so he really is only working 2 weeks a month. There have been several times he has overslept (I used to make sure he got up) because I didn't make him get up. When he does get up and realizes he takes his sweet time before heading out the door. I ask what the heck are you doing ...you gotta get going now! His response is I am thinking I forgot something (while he just sits there smoking a cig) doing nothing to move along faster. He says it doesn't matter because if he is late well he is late already anyhow. What are your thoughts on this?

Another thing I have noticed is he is home 2 weeks a month and well quite frankly he thinks that if he washed dishes once and did a load of laundry once in the month...well he thinks he does it all the time and that he did the greatest thing in the world. I have let him know I appreciate that he helped, but then he goes right back to doing nothing. I don't get it.I have expressed to him before the things I would like him to help with. It doesn't do any good. I just told him 3 times now that I had done 2 loads of wash....and had folded them, could you please put them away? Guess what folks... the laundry sat in those baskets for 1 week and 6 days. Then I put them away.

He says he doesn't have the same timing as me...well if I want something done, I want it done within a day or 2. Am I being ridicolous? Or shall I just leave everything sit until (his timing) comes along?

Things that I do are: work full time and I have 4 days off in one month, so my schedule is 12 days work 2 days off and the majority of those are 12 hour days. I do the cleaning ie... dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, closets, laundry, cooking, handle all the finances because he asked me to (he admitted he isn't very good with money) as I was a single mom for 12 years and managed to stay afloat with making 24 thousand a year. So I don't understand if I write the check for his car payment and address, put it in the envelope,and stamp it...why does he always forget to mail his own payment?

This is just some of the things bothering me. He was never like this until we moved to the same state a town away from his family. Does anyone know why he would be like this? Am I being unfair to expect a little help?

What are your suggestions?

 

 UNHAPPYWIFE71 UPDATE:
Hi everyone and thanks for your messages. It is time I do an update on this story.
No, neither I nor my husband are cheating, nor do either one of us want a divorce. My husband is not bored with me, nor me with him. We are actually very content now. In the past couple weeks my husband has seen how lazy he was being and he evidentally had a wake up call. He has been back to the man I married, he has been helping with laundry, dishes, making meals, and other things on his days off. He is doing pretty swell now, and is completing things he starts, and is doing them well rather than half a$$ed. As for his job...he started this job 4.5 months ago, so there is not boredom in that, he is saying all the things he has been learning about. He does not want another wife, and he does not want me to change in anyway and he is not bored with me...or at least that is what he says when I asked him. It is so nice having the man back that I married. I think he even feels better about himself for accomplishing these things and doing it with pride.

unhappywife71 unhappywife71 36-40 1 Response Jul 13, 2008

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happy ending... <br />
love is full of compromise ,is not it?