Tomorrow Is My 11th Wedding Anniversary But....

Tomorrow is my 11th wedding anniversary, but I'm not really happy about it.  I want a divorce. I'm not happy with my life, or my husband. We've actually been together for 18 years now, and we have 2 kids together. I really want to get out of this relationship but don't know exactly how. When I'm not with my husband all I think about is ending it (my marriage). but when I'm with him I feel bad and don't want to hurt him. I still love him very much even though he's cheated on me several times (he even has a another kid with another woman).  He has put us into financial ruins because he insists on being self-employed but isn't very good at it. he's been to prison 5 times for stupid things like forgery and auto theft. I feel like he only cares about himself and not about me or our 2 kids.  He can be a supersweet guy or a really big *******. I've been very hurt. I have told him I want a divorce but he says he loves me and he doesn't want to lose me. I love him but I don't think I can live with him anymore. I want a divorce but I don't know if I can go through with it. I feel guilty and so very confused.

gg0507 gg0507
31-35, F
3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

I felt the same way with my ex husband. I felt bad when I was with him, but I wanted nothing more to leave him. I finally did it. Now my life is AMAZING. Do it now...for you and your kids.

Leave him. I would've left him when he fathered another child.

I believe you really do love your husband. I wish I still felt this love for my husband. But you need to do what is best for you and your children. After you make the break from him you will feel so much relief. It sounds like you have given him lots of chances and it is only hurting you.