Tired Mom of Three Fed Up With Lazy Husband!

I am so sad that your newfound pregnancy is not a joyful suprise for you because the simple fact is that you know with out a doubt your hubby won't help....I wish I could hug you or tell you everything is going to be alright. I had a tooth pulled when I was 7 months pregnant so I know exactly what you are going through. Sometimes I think a lot of the problem is our society...it's become acceptable for men to be bigger babies then our babies. It's disgusting...can you imagine if they had to deliver or even carry the baby? Surely the human race would be extinct !

My husband has not worked in 4 years. I finally took all the toys away, the video games, tv, and at last the sex that caused alot of problems. I finally asked if he loved me... When no real answer came I gave him a year in Sept. to find a job or get out, he has yet to find a job. Do you have family or close friends who are willing to help? There are alot of support groups. It's hard when you love them and they seem not to feel the same way. My heart goes out to you and I pray all goes well.

I have a lazy fat husband. I left and filed for divorce but had to leave my son home with him. I was told to because he had just as much right as I do. My husband had begged me to come back and I did like an idoit thought everything was going to change and it didnt. Now Im in such a mess he had won physical custody and I moved back in just to be with my son. I dont know what to do I cant take my son away as I would like to and start fresh away from this mind battering monster. The divorce is still out there and the cousty thing is still there any suggestion would be appriciated.

Men can be great. Yours is a loser. Get rid of him now - he takes you for granted, if he was actually capable of caring he would have gotten off his *** by now. If my husband lost his job, he would have gone to McDonalds or Starbucks or something just to make a bit of money, and if he were at home he would be cleaning and cooking and earning his keep. Kick this worthless ******* to the curb and bring up your kids where they are safe from such a poisonous role model.

He is most likely addicted to something, ****???

I've Been married a few days shy of a year and my husband is a lazy *** too. He wasnt like this when we got married. He used to pitch in, do laundry, vacuum, dishes. Now I can't even get him to put his clothes in the hamper. We constantly fight over who is taking the dog out. He always tells me he will do afternoon walk if I take her when I wake up. Then he never follows through. Mind you, this is only a dog. He wants to start havjng children but I told him that until he can prove to me that he can help out around the house I am not havjng a baby. I do not want to be stuck taking care of him, the baby, the house and the dog. I'll rip my hair out

My husband and I both work but I do all the work at home. We have a 3 year old daughter. We've been married for 7 months and together for 5 years. He gets home after work and sits in front of his pc and plays game. He leaves plates, socks, clothes, glases lying around. Basically he leaves everything he touches lying around. I cook, clean, do the laundry, wash the baby, feed the baby , vaccum the house, wash the car. He can't even wash the car because he says its my car so I should wash. He doesn't want me to take the car to the car wash because he says its a waste of money.



When we moved into the house we renting we had to paint it. i painted the house, fixed the cupboards. If the car has a puncture I change the tire while he sits and watches.



When I came back from the hospital after i had my baby girl (C - section). I had to clean, cook and look after the baby all on m own. The operation was so painful everytime I had to lift the baby from her cot and breastfeeed. He wouldn't wake up at night for the feedings, just thinking about it makes me want to cry because of the pain I went through.



I pay for the car we are using and he gave away the previous one I got from my mother to his aunt. When I ask for the money he tells me he had nothing to do with that and I should go get the money myself.



I made a big mistake getting married and I am miserable.



I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you becuase I' m thinking of moving out as it is.



I'm scared of getting a divorce because of what my family and his family will say because we have only been married for 7 months.

i know we are all told men are suppose to be strong, but he may be depressed for losing his job and is not able to cope with it. I had a similiar situation, and i had to live with his mother for two years! But after nagging him to the point of arguing, i started denying him sex and looking for a home with or without him. if he really loves you and you threaten to leave (mean buisness)he will straigten up his act. My hubby didnt want to lose us and got with the program. Yes he is still in his lazy mode at times, but he is a work in progress. Be strong, your happiness is important, and if you are miserable, how can you raise healthy children depressed all the time? I know i couldn't, been there done that. Good luck sweetie you can make it!

i know we are all told men are suppose to be strong, but he may be depressed for losing his job and is not able to cope with it. I had a similiar situation, and i had to live with his mother for two years! But after nagging him to the point of arguing, i started denying him sex and looking for a home with or without him. if he really loves you and you threaten to leave (mean buisness)he will straigten up his act. My hubby didnt want to lose us and got with the program. Yes he is still in his lazy mode at times, but he is a work in progress. Be strong, your happiness is important, and if you are miserable, how can you raise healthy children depressed all the time? I know i couldn't, been there done that. Good luck sweetie you can make it!

i know we are all told men are suppose to be strong, but he may be depressed for losing his job and is not able to cope with it. I had a similiar situation, and i had to live with his mother for two years! But after nagging him to the point of arguing, i started denying him sex and looking for a home with or without him. if he really loves you and you threaten to leave (mean buisness)he will straigten up his act. My hubby didnt want to lose us and got with the program. Yes he is still in his lazy mode at times, but he is a work in progress. Be strong, your happiness is important, and if you are miserable, how can you raise healthy children depressed all the time? I know i couldn't, been there done that. Good luck sweetie you can make it!

Leave him. It will only get worse. He shows he does not love you or respect you in any way. If he did he would show you by action, cleaning, trying harder to find a job, ect. If you let him get away with it, as he has, it wil never change. He is comfortable in this situation, he has no reason to change his behavior in any way. I had to leave my husband of almost 29 years because he became very lazy and had developed a sense of entitlement. It was very painful for me to see he did not love or respect me anymore and had not for quite awhile. This is a form of abuse. Good luck.

Wow! There are so many out there that I can relate to. I've been married for 10 years. My husband and I both work part time switching shift as a babysitters now a days charge so much per child. We have three children together all under 10 years. We live on a bi weekly pay check just enough to get by day by day. My day consists of absolutely nothing but work since the day my first one was conceived. My job requires me to stand up and lift slightly heavy things. I work at a fast food place so i am constantly on my toes, serving customers, cooking and prepping to make sure everything goes well, When I get home from work, I still do do some work but not as much as my job. I am a dishwasher in my family and slowly letting my kids do some too... I have been so tired to clean up after everyone so I have let my two eldest daughters pick up after themselves. I must say that they are doing well compared to their own father. I still pick up after my husbands garbage and does his dirty laundry too. Primarily, my husband does the bills and the groceries. He has more control of our finances. He is more control of our car. He will not let me drive because he is not confident in me. If i could drive, I'd be more control of our groceries and Wouldn't have to rely on weekly take outs. His job is a delivery driver, I'm not quite sure how stressful it is but he claims that the jobs takes a lot of his energy and efforts. I don't have much of a hobby just being able to sit in front of the computer, walk the dog and watch movies at the end of the day. His hobbies consist of playing video games or hanging out with his friend outside home. He is stubborn and will not budge with chores no matter how much I have stressed this issue with him. Something so little such as dishes could set off a fight between us. What can I do? Keep looking on a the positive side of things rather than complain about chores. My husband is so out of shape and has suggested him to walk the dog that he bought or do some gardening. If only I had time, I would love to work on my yard. Sometime I question his love for me although he has said how much he loves me. He could care less his health and would rather eat fried/ junk foods and smoke like a chimney. All I know is that a person that wants to live longer will try to stay away from that as much as possible. I smoke to to relieve my stresses in life. Also, he complains to me about how much I don't show any interest or don't initiate sex. I'm not quite sure if I was that in love with him now than i was with him then before we had kids. I am absolutely tired and do not have the drive anymore to please him. Its not that complicated but it doesn't take rocket science for him to realize that maybe if he contributed a little bit of physical help from him that maybe it might lift some burden off my shoulders and find myself more in love with him. I'm not exactly banning him from his friends or his video games. He can still do all those, we just need his time that is all. It's been two years since you have posted this, hope things has had changed for you guys. I can only hope mine will change for the good too. Good luck!

I have two children and I work outside the home. I have a husband who has a job, but that is the only thing he does to contribute to our family. He doesn't clean, cook (not even grill in the summer), do anything with the kids (except yell at them or look at his Blackberry when he's with them), no laundry, no cleaning up after himself, no maintenance on our house. It used to be so nice, now its falling apart.. He to complains about the lack of sex. As if I'm supposed to work, come home and take care of the house and kids, get dinner on the table, throw a load of wash in, get lunches and clothes out for the kids for school, help with homework and bedtime, then go food shopping. Really, then I'm supposed to get on my knees and service him too? Really? Right now, my husband has spent all day Saturday on the couch and is still sleeping now. It's 11:40. He has no energy, except when he goes out with his friends, which includes a girl he works with that's just a friend, although it was a secret that they were hanging out and texting. I'm starting to agree with these other comments about divorce. Nothing has changed in 10 years. Even when I was having a miscarriage over the summer, my husband did nothing to help. Unfortunately, I can't afford to take care of them financially by myself. I've given up nagging, who wants to be called a nag all the time. I just go about my business and say nothing. Sorry for the long post with no real advice. Just felt like venting to people who would obviously understand. Good luck. I hope things get better.

I can relate to all your articles, I am married for over 30 years now and each year I felt he would change, from the beginning after having our first child - he did not do much to help, in any way. He stopped working regularly for the past 9 years now blaming the work situation, but I realized he turned into an alcoholic which he still denies. I managed to leave and am maintaining my 3 children, but he still calls to haunt me, to make me feel guilty, he has a way of turning things around. I worked looked after the kids, he stopped going out with us, became a loner and I realized I was mother and father to my children. Got the strength to move out and am much happier now, as I have peace even though I am battling to maintain the children, I am still happy. No one to bicker and put me down, no one trying to bully me. Believe me I have more peace now, my children are happier also. Some men are just not cut out to be husbands or fathers, presently he does not support us but still has the guts to say he loves us !

I can relate to all your articles, I am married for over 30 years now and each year I felt he would change, from the beginning after having our first child - he did not do much to help, in any way. He stopped working regularly for the past 9 years now blaming the work situation, but I realized he turned into an alcoholic which he still denies. I managed to leave and am maintaining my 3 children, but he still calls to haunt me, to make me feel guilty, he has a way of turning things around. I worked looked after the kids, he stopped going out with us, became a loner and I realized I was mother and father to my children. Got the strength to move out and am much happier now, as I have peace even though I am battling to maintain the children, I am still happy. No one to bicker and put me down, no one trying to bully me. Believe me I have more peace now, my children are happier also. Some men are just not cut out to be husbands or fathers, presently he does not support us but still has the guts to say he loves us !

Men are pigs. The majority of them are lazy and they just sit on their fat ***** letting their women do everything. You need to kick him out of the house. What do you need him for anyway? You are doing it on your own anyway, it's like you are a single mother so why not get rid of him. It will decrease the stress you are under and you will no longer have to nag and yell at the lazy pig.



Get rid of him. You don't need that! He is acting like a child. Spoilt pig. Stop allowing him to walk all over you. Kick him to the curb & let him be someone else's big fat problem.

Men are pigs. The majority of them are lazy and they just sit on their fat ***** letting their women do everything. You need to kick him out of the house. What do you need him for anyway? You are doing it on your own anyway, it's like you are a single mother so why not get rid of him. It will decrease the stress you are under and you will no longer have to nag and yell at the lazy pig.



Get rid of him. You don't need that! He is acting like a child. Spoilt pig. Stop allowing him to walk all over you. Kick him to the curb & let him be someone else's big fat problem.

You have a few options:



1. Leave. I mean, you already probably feel like a single mother anyway, so if you DID leave, it won't really make much difference. The only difference would be you'll have 3 kids to take care of not 3 kids plus a lazy slob man-child



2. Go on strike. If you don't want to leave him, stay, but just don't do anything for him. Don't wash his clothes, don't cook his dinner etc, just take care of yourself and your kids. If he needs clean clothes but doesn't have any, well he either had to get off his lazy backside and wash them himself or wear dirty clothes. Don't give him any money either, maybe this way he might be motivated to get up and get a job, even if it's just a part time one.



3. Go on a break, I don't just mean a few weeks, I mean a few months, stay at a friend's or relatives for a while with the kids and hopefully when (or if) you decided to go back to him he might have realised that he does need to start pulling his weight and get a job. But just remember, having time apart doesn't fix things, you can't expect things to be fine once you go back. You'll both need to work things out, talk to each other, even go to relationship counceling.



I am very sorry you are going through this. My dp can be lazy as well and doesn't help much with housework or kids, but he does work Monday to Friday. In your situation I would have walked out years ago. Good luck :)

You must find a way to force your husband to leave your home. Please see a lawyer who can help you by filing the paperwork to get a court to require him to leave. He is not going to change - no amount of good cheer,begging, showing by example, or hostility will make him decide to change his ways. You have to face the fact that the marriage was a mistake, and get on with your life without him. Your children will be better off with him gone - he can have visitation with them -he may even be a better father by having them for visits instead of living with them. Stay Strong. I promise,if you divorce him, life will be better.