Can Coin Toss Help?

Have you ever felt confused as to the many things you wanted versus things you desire? How about things perceived as needs versus the hypothetical “should”? Do you find distinguishing their individual values quick and easy? More often than not, souls with so much history being feeling stranded in their dark times, feeling uneasy with their choices in life, pattern of seemingly endless heartache and pain in their whole life – these questions pose from time to time breaking them apart hoping to find true answers. Answers for which one must find within itself. Itself alone.

Probably dreaming or imagining what their “true meaning” should be, perhaps for most, are relatively painless. Every mile stones in our life we seem to associate with some sort of evaluation as to whether they are what we needed, or should have, or wanted. We often debate their value and lots of times we never really go by these categories. Life just goes as it wants to, as it needs to, and as it should. Things just happens for a reason. What that is or are remains a question.

What I refer to as “things” on this note may include the typical actual materials, the day-to-day events in our life, the easy and rather difficult decisions we make each day, the people around us that most believe to be “what make the world go around”, the hopes we continue to seek, our wishes that someday will come true, “the” relationship we desire. All of these are perhaps to some extent true in the sense of our relationship to them, why and how we conquer these things, hold them in our possesion, remain hopeful they will all come true. One would say our bond to everything surrounding us is the mightiest of them all, in all positive aspects whatever that maybe. But, mightiest may also mean the hardest, the darkest of all time, in which our emotions, our minds, our actions are based upon.

Relationship, a word for most is too powerful, is truly powerful in the context of intimate bond between two persons, whether gay or straight. This bond brings the best and worst of people and is something that can be developed and by which each person is inspired because of something they feel or think greater than themselves. But, as what many of you know, what is created can be destroyed and from which it can be rebuilt.

I see an important question, from talking about what I think relationship is, is how to make one. What do you need to build one? Must one have the ability to do so?

Everyone has the ability to develop relationships, most importantly within themselves and, of course, for people around them. Most would say that is an easy and light mountain to move – but little as one might know that is an incredible task, to some folks, that can never be easy. At times people are afraid of relationships; turn their back away from commitments and rather keep disconnected to some extent comfortable for them. Perhaps, in their alone time they ask the questions “Why can it be easy? Why things must be hard? Why am I afraid of it? Is it all about me?”.

Relationship teaches us a lot of different things. A lot of it is about ourselves. Something about ourselves we don’t seem to be aware until we see ourselves in the context of others. Many of us wonder what else is about is we don’t know about. The characters we make ourselves in, the attitude we project to others, what they can and cannot appreciate, and the character we are meant to be. Knowing and appreciating yourself and your potentiality plays a significant role in our relationships to others.

What people often see on the outside is the projection of our inner mentality and emotions, perhaps a preview of what we really are on the inside. Each of us, and not just Gemini’s, do play the good and evil side of us depending upon what is going on around us. There is the all-natural angelic side of us and the other is the “never try to push my button” type of personality. This reminds me of something like Hulk. On the outside, you see him “get angry” when provoked most especially if the love of his life is in jeopardy. And, only she can diffuse him only with her gentle touch and soft spoken voice. In a lot of ways, we are somewhat like Hulk. As Hulk might look unreal and scary, he has a good side of him. A good side which can turn into someone’s nightmare when provoked and/or questioned.

Conceptually in real life, we turn ourselves into this very often, and a lot of times other people motivates the evil part of us take over. So the question is – how do we control this? What must one have to do? In the context of relationship, the so called “give and take” can do it all for you. This isn’t something conveniently abundant and easy access for everyone to have but this does take a whole lot of work. A whole lot maybe an exaggeration; however, exploring ourselves in all layers is required whether our being fit in this “give and take” method, if you will.

Perhaps, I would consider that as one of the important elements in a relationship. In a relationship will teach you how to give and learn how to take. Neither giving or taking is an easy task. It requires sub-standardizing expectations, if you will, allowing time to learn more about your chemistry towards the other person. Again, this isn’t a quick and easy job! It does take a lot of patience, positive attitude and outlook in a relationship, the undying passion with which you take every single step and hurdles along the way. Truth is – all true with your head help up high!

As I grow older and my life continue to unfold before my eyes, I see many people afraid from their lives, suffer from their failures and fears, reserved from making decisions and taking risks, and people with their future completely taken over by their past. Perhaps their past too painful to let go and/or part of themselves are somewhat embedded into it and can’t seem to cut the rope pulling them back.

This is when reflection to oneself is very important. Question whether your relationship built within you is as strong as it should be. Likelihood is both, either yes or no. As one famous writer and inspiration to all, “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon ‘em”. Some are born strong, some are born weak, some are born bound to be strengthen or weaken — and I think everyone do have that potential to be strong and become the person they are meant to be.

And, in additon, everyone is bound to bond with someone intimately. A healthy and productive relationship can be at hand, if you want it. And when you do, it’s not the same as the genie in the bottle that all it takes it a rub or two — but believe it or not, a work is at hand to make a good relationship to work. It’ll work if you make it to work. I’m no doctor about these things but I believe unconditional love, credible trust, and undenying loyalty makes it all happen. Just think, it’s not all about you, it’s a “us” and a “we”. Putting them first before you is what is all about.

Just believe in it. A coin toss will NOT help figure out how living should be. Living in this world is full of relationship to things and your fellow human beings. It is up to you how to live it. As an old man said to me before “you only live once, live it at your best”.

EDIT: I am inspired to write this about my two cents regarding relationships. Someone who is dear to me and will always be. My heart goes above and beyond to this person and wishing nothing but the best.
Sebastian420 Sebastian420
31-35
Dec 9, 2012