Why I Can Be Empathetic With Guys About Girls

Ok, so there's this girl who lives next door...lol She's one of the rare girls that I can spend time with and not be ready to fight her. My man isn't really into her, but he's still cool if I want us to play with her (and I kind of do...we fit somehow).

So back in November sometime, this girl presented me with the idea of "putting on a show" for our guys and letting them participate. I am with a black man 33 years old with a very dominant personality which he exhibits instinctively and denies when approached about it and I am white, 24, and have a switchable personality depending on the person that I'm interacting with. She's with a white guy, 18 years old-a baby and a punk but not a bad guy, necessarily, and she's a black girl 35 years old with the potential to have acquire a lot of intelligence if she would just open her mind and listen to herself. Our daughters play together....we all just generally get along. I'm the up front, straight up type...so one day, with her permission, I asked him if I could **** his girl and all. He turned red and hid his face and generally got embarrassed, also never gave me an answer. Total turn off for me -- hell, man up!

So anyway...time goes on...her man is spending a lot of time at his mom's house in the neighborhood with a young white girl around his age. My girl knows about it but she's trying to make things work out/trying to recapture his attention somehow, so since we can tell he doesn't really want the whole scenario to happen, she backs off of the subject for quite awhile which I understood and was cool with. I have no problems being just friends as I don't like drama.

Then again, last weekend, she approached me with the same subject. She claimed that he would be cool with it as long as he had something to drink on and played some cards or loosened up first. She finally admitted (during questioning) that she hadn't talked to him about it again, she was just going to surprise him with it, and that deep down she knew he really didn't want it. She went on during the day to say that she wanted to "try me" to see "what it was like" (I am the naturally Dominant one with her). I'm not the type to push, but I let her know that this was her second chance, so whatever she decided to do she'd better make it count because I have a 3-strikes lucky/3-strikes out policy. I also told her that the four of us would need to sit down and have an open, adult conversation about the subject first. Let everybody get to know who, what, and where everybody is on the subject. She agreed...the night went on...her guy was mad for some reason the whole night and my guy fell asleep.

She and I ended up getting drunk together at her house, talking about the situation, and ending with me telling her that if she was ready to be honest with herself to come and see me. I was drunk and ready to be in my home where I can better control my situation and relax in my intoxication. I told her she had 30 minutes; she wanted to have a conversation with her (male) roommate first. Basically, she never showed up and I left the situation alone. I haven't talked to her, gone to see her or gone out of my way to have any contact with her.
so this morning around 2:30 am she calls my house crying. She had told her man that she didn't want to be with him any more, that she was unhappy and lonely and whatnot...and her man told her he was sorry for hurting her and admitted to the time he's been spending with the other girl. She asks can she come over because she doesn't want to be at home and of course I let her...she comes over already on the phone with her roommate who just happens to be somewhat of a friend to me and my man as well. I leave her to finish her conversation checking on her every few minutes or so; after about an hour she thanks me for letting her come over, and leaves to go meet him.

I don't think I'm going to play into this game she seems to be trying to play...why spend all this time talking to me, telling me how much you want me, teasing me, and then at the perfect opportunity go off and run straight to someone else...This is why I can empathize with guys about girls and it makes me more aware of the ways that I treat guys...apologies to those who I've hurt. I know it doesn't mean a whole helluva lot now. Just want certain people to know that I didn't intentionally mislead. I think I need to re-think my own personal honesty policy with myself...I think I've lied to myself many many times and in turn lied to others.
submissivemistress submissivemistress
26-30, F
Jan 12, 2013