How I Asked My Husband To Try SwingingIt all started about 8 months ago. My husband was away on a business trip, I was home alone and horny, so I decided to search the internet for sex websites. I came across a few where people were chatting about affairs, **********, group sex, sexless marriages and so on. This got me thinking... I love my husband...we have been together for 17 yrs and married for 11...we have 4 kids. What was missing? He always wanted sex more than me, which is normal, for most women. But why didn't I want it? Maybe I missed those butterflies you feel when you are in a new relationship. Maybe it was just getting monotonous. I guess I could have tried sex toys, role playing, etc, but I just didn't think that would cut it.
I began researching alternate lifestyles. I read a book called "Opening Up" and watched a show on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) about Swinging. After finally getting my nerves up, I suggested to my husband that I wanted an "open marriage" where each of us could have sex with someone else...no questions asked. I was sure he missed that butterfly feeling as well. I knew, like most guys out there, that he would love to **** another girl.
After all, we are one of the few animals to practice monogamy. We like to think we are monogamous, but many of us cheat, so we aren't. I do know that there are many of you who totally disagree and believe that monogamy is best, but not me, and there are so many out there who feel the same as me. Our society and religions have "rules" for sex that we are all supposed to follow because it's the "right" thing to do. I, personally disagree with these rules.
He was reluctant, of course, because I am "his girl" and the thought of sharing me made him sick. So we went back and forth, me always being the one to bring it up. He just didn't seem into the whole "open marriage" thing. I couldn't blame him. After I read about "swinging" I had him watch the Oprah show and slowly began talking more and more about it. I even showed him swing websites.
Finally, he seemed a little more open to it and decided to give it a try...more so because he was fearful that I would do it behind his back, so he figured he might as well join me. After meeting 2 couples, we had our first experience 2 weeks ago and to both of our surprise, absolutely loved it. He never imagined he would be ok with me ******* another guy...especially in front of him...but after we became comfortable with the other couple, we found out that it wasn't that hard after all. We had fun meeting with them, flirting and talking about having sex. It's so much fun searching the websites for other couples, only to find out that so many of them are just normal people, looking for some fun in their lives. Now, we can't wait to try it again.
We are able to separate sex from love. You have to be open with each other and discuss your feelings. It will be normal to be jealous. Swing websites are filled with happy, committed couples who are also looking to spice things up, so there is less of a chance of falling in love with another swinger, such as what may happen when having an affair....or meeting people on EP!
So, unless you decide to open up to your spouse about your sexual fantasies, you will never know how they really feel. You might be shocked to find out that they are interested in exploring new things. After all, you only live once...I think...unless there is such a thing as re-incarnation...then maybe you can swing in your next life as well!
I suggest you first watch some **** together which shows other couples doing it, such as "Skin to the Max" on Cinemax. Ask your partner "what do you think of that...would it ever interest you?" If your partner seems fascinated, then give it a shot. What's the worst that can happen...he or she gets mad and kicks you out of the house...just kidding, although I'm sure that is reality.
We are just a regular, down to earth, intelligent, professional couple, who believe in living life to it's fullest without fear of being judged.
Good Luck to all of you.