Retrospect

    As I get to the point in my life when I realize that my twenty-five year old mind does not match my damaged body, the fast-lane seems obscure to me now.

    Although I am not quite old, the aches and the pains and the pills seem to govern days that I had better plans for.  I can see what is coming.

     My strong will and confidence have not served me well in the end, but seemed like the right tools at the time.  The lonliness is overcoming some days.  My hands shake, my head spins and my heart aches for those I have no relationship with that I love so much.

     I wish I had hugged my sisters one more time.  I wish I could have figured out what my ex-wife really wanted.  I wish my daughter wasn't mad at me all the time.  I wish I hadn't said so many dumb things when I had a million tomorrows.  I wish I had never been important, successful or famous.

    Most of all... I wish... and nothing will come from old wishes.  They're just old wishes after all...