Written on November 21st, 2011
I remember trying to control my eating and my weight since I was 14. I used to exercise it off if I binged. I finally got really strong control of my eating for a couple years. I was really strict and it worked. But when things in life start going south I just eat and its so much effort to control it. I just don't even care any more. I'm so tired of trying to control everything in my life including my weight. It seems more worth it to me at this point to just get fat than to keep trying to control my eating. Not eating when I want to is like death. I hate that feeling of control, constriction, restriction, deprivation. There is nothing worse. I just ate a bunch of ice cream and chips and I look like i'm pregnant but i just don't care. I am so tired of being skinny for other people.