Tired Of Controlling My Weight. Just Don't Give A S*** Anymore.

I remember trying to control my eating and my weight since I was 14. I used to exercise it off if I binged. I finally got really strong control of my eating for a couple years. I was really strict and it worked. But when things in life start going south I just eat and its so much effort to control it. I just don't even care any more. I'm so tired of trying to control everything in my life including my weight. It seems more worth it to me at this point to just get fat than to keep trying to control my eating. Not eating when I want to is like death. I hate that feeling of control, constriction, restriction, deprivation. There is nothing worse. I just ate a bunch of ice cream and chips and I look like i'm pregnant but i just don't care. I am so tired of being skinny for other people.
emilystrange105 emilystrange105
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 21, 2011

aslong as your comfortable with your body it's all that matters.<br />
i remember i used to have a girlfriend who had some extra weight on, she was like my soul mate and best relation i had with a girl so far. personality always comes first, you will find the right person that will understand that.<br />
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don't worry about other people if eating chips and ice cream makes you happy then be happy.

thanks thats comforting. i sometimes feel like i don't deserve my bf because i think he is more attractive than me and does not have weight issues. But he likes seeing me eat a lot. i am seeing some girl friends i haven't seen in a while and i'm afraid they'll notice i've gained weight. oh well.

do not ever feel that theres all guys that would put you down, i happen to like a woman/girl with a few extra meat on the bones, theres just that feeling of when you put your arms around a girl with a little more and the warmth and real feelings that they share and give,if for what ever reason you meet a guy or you have the sad ness to deal with skinny thinkers, screw em, they arent worth the thought,i would like to be freinds and talk when ever you want, but thats up to you,