Big Girls Do Cry!

Well hello I am 30 and 100lbs overweight. I am ony 5'1 and at 225 lbs. I have been large all my life. I am an emotional eater. I also eat when I am bored. I have had 3 kids. My oldest is 9 and my 2 youngest are 3. Yep twins.. I was fat pre-babies so no blamin that. I am depressed alot, have been since I can remember. I hate myself. Everything about my looks I dispise. I went through a depression and I didnt take care of myself, so my teeth are bad, I have psorisis which doesnt help.My low self esteem is causing fights in my marriage, if he goes anywhere I fear he will cheat.. he ives me no real reason to think these things of him but I do. I am scared he will leave me, but being like I am , not trusting and low self esteem,.. that will make him leave faster, I get that, but still hard to change how you are and how you have been for 25 years. I have major abandonment issues. God there are so many ****** up things that have happened in my life to bring me to where I am. But... I am lucky and happy to have a Husband who is a **** 50% of the time but the other 50% takes over that. He is different. A little nuts to, but then again all my friends are crazy also. And I got blessed by God with 3 wonderful children. They keep me going. They are my world. Even though I am a Little : P (wacked) I am a good mother. I try to keep drama for after hours when they sleep and I never put myself down in front of them. So yeah, back to me being a porker.. I am. I have sagged from kids so its like real bad. Need boob job...well lots of "jobs". I am getting a Wii fit. Hoping it will help me lose weight. We will see. Will update you on progress as soon as the Wii gets here. SO till then chow..this is my story.

Angelene1978 Angelene1978
26-30, F
Mar 21, 2009