My Boyfriend Just Drew The Line

What started out as a movie night, just ended in an ultimatum.  My boyfriend of ten years just told me that my body cannot take what I am doing to it.  He said that he has been patient - more patient than most guys.  He said that he has been nice - most guys would be mean and nasty about this.  He wants me to lose weight or else.  I guess the "or else" part means he will leave me.  The sad part is that I understand that I am overweight, but his words just make me feel worse.  I do not feel encouraged or empowered.  I feel sad, angry and embarrassed.  Should I be grateful for his ultimatum or outraged?  I really don't know.

dcfc23 dcfc23
36-40, F
5 Responses Feb 28, 2010

Sending you hugs. It's times like these in life that can really make us feel defeated but know that there are a whole bunch of people here that are pulling for you. I hope you find someone who is warm and caring and will except you. Remember there are 7 billion people and even though separating from someone who doesn't encourage you could be very painful there are a whole range of people out there that would appreciate you. <br />
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Best Wishes

Well, I wanted to post sth but maybe u already made a decision? r u still with him or did u leave? i am overweight too and my husband loves me but my overweight not toomuch, so he just said "pls, honey, do sth for ur body, do more sports, that would fit u better". Well, am addicted to chocolate but am trying to get over that. I might do more sports...somehow...

Thank you so much. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this thinking.

Wow. I appreciate the advice.

You need unconditional love, not this kind of manipulation. Somewhere down the line, even if you lose weight you will gain it back. You might become ill for some reason and be unable to exercise and gain weight. The threat of his leaving unless you are some particular weight will always be hanging over your head. Leave him!