I Am Painfully Shy
One thing that bothers me is when people call me "quiet". I could be in a social setting and someone would go "Why are you so quiet?" as if by magic I'll snap out of it and suddenly become talkative.
It bothers me that when I'm in a group setting and everyone is talking and being part of the conversation, I just sit there and listen. It's as if there's nothing for me to say, nothing to share with them. My mind goes blank.
I have no memories of wild parties, nights out, getting drunk, holidays etc because of my social anxiety. There's a big gap in my life where nothing happened, there's nothing for me to tell these people. Nothing to share. I get so frustrated by that, they're pressuring me to share things that aren't there. I get angry when someone tells me I'm being too quiet. They don't realize how hard I'm digging in my head trying to find something, anything, to say to them. There's just nothing there for me.
And in turn, I just come off as boring. I just can't win, no matter what I do.
It bothers me that when I'm in a group setting and everyone is talking and being part of the conversation, I just sit there and listen. It's as if there's nothing for me to say, nothing to share with them. My mind goes blank.
I have no memories of wild parties, nights out, getting drunk, holidays etc because of my social anxiety. There's a big gap in my life where nothing happened, there's nothing for me to tell these people. Nothing to share. I get so frustrated by that, they're pressuring me to share things that aren't there. I get angry when someone tells me I'm being too quiet. They don't realize how hard I'm digging in my head trying to find something, anything, to say to them. There's just nothing there for me.
And in turn, I just come off as boring. I just can't win, no matter what I do.
By:
EndlessApathy
Age:
16-17
,
Female
