Me - Pansexual, Polyamorous, And Genderfluid....the Rest Still An Evolving Whirling Pool Of Strange

I started in a good bible church, became a naughty kinky bastard after vo tech, got kinkier, became a submissive, then a really good one, became polyamorous, decided i was heteroflexible......then pansexual....then.....well i heard about gender queer and then dismissed it. Later gender flluidity came up in conversation with a friend. I decided i might be really close but not quite. Tonight I adopted it as my gender after looking it up and researching it and several other gender definitions. Congrats to me. As of tonight I have yet another hard but well worth it road to travel. I'm excited yet scared. My parents know I'm pansexual...but not this. I can see their faces when at some point (if they ever find out...I'm sure they will some day when i forget to take off make up or something) but that is all part of it. Being true to yourself. Now where can I get away with BEING what I am? This part scares me even more than the journey. The idea of "what if i adopt this and make it my own and now i never find a place i can be me?" I would prefer to not just be me at random kink parties.

tech53 tech53
26-30
5 Responses Mar 8, 2010

Pansexual, genderfluid, kinky, queer, relationship anarchist here. (Also pagan, for added rainbow power).

I prefer to think of my preferences as "tolerant and squishy".

Yeah... Come out West... LA, or SF... People out here are just like "whatever" good luck with finding somewhere to just be "you" though... Random kink parties are fun :-)

But bottom line is you got to do what feels right... I did that, scary at first but now just three years later and no one even knows or cares... Except me... Hard to find people who can both know your secret and also still want to be with you...

In order to live this kind of life publicly, you're going to need to move to one of the big, liberal coastal cities. Generally speaking, you'll need that sort of tolerance to be able to live this out. However, you can live this sort of life privately wherever you want.

good for you

i feel the same way...it's really confusing, though, since my parents think i'm a perfectly feminine straight girl and ignore me otherwise...and my school just plain thinks i'm a bisexual ****.