Pansexuality And Me - My Fantastically Sad Life So Far.

Well ever since I was about 6, I always wondered why I couldn't date guys. My parents always responded with "Because it's wrong". When I was 13 years old, I was staying at a friend's house, he was 16. I say 'friend' very loosely, he was more of a bully. Once, when everyone was out, and just me and him were home alone, he asked me if I wanted to play 'Truth or Dare'. I didn't mind this at first, but then he started asking me really personal questions; "How often do you ****?", "Ever sucked off a guy?" etc.. So I said Dare. And he made me gave him a *******. This really ****** me up, I thought that this made me gay. I tried to block out the memory for about half a year. Then I started seeing guys differently. I liked guys and girls, so I assumed I was bisexual. So I came out to a few friends when I was 15, and then the whole of my year group found out and they teased me non-stop. I had a boyfriend at the time, but I realised I wasn't sexually attracted to him, but emotionally attracted to him. I loved his personality and he was gorgeous, but I wasn't interested in having sex with him. We broke up, but I always remembered how I felt when I was with him. I wasn't sexually attracted to him, but I was to some guys. I was primarily attracted to girls for looks but guys for personality. Then I found out the definition of pansexuality, and realised that it explained everthything I'd been feeling and the constant changes in who I was interested in. When I came out at school as Pansexual ,it bamboozled everyone and they were interested, not judgemental. Yes, I still do get the odd ignorant comment such as "You're just confused", "Isn't that just bi", or "You're just greedy", but things have been much, much better for me since I came out. The only problem now is trying to juggle my faith and my sexuality, as many people seem to think that Christianity and all forms of homosexuality contradict each other. I am still searching for a way to have both, and staying positive in the process. Peace. Xx
JackDurden13 JackDurden13
18-21, M
Jan 8, 2013