How I Came To Identify Myself As Pansexual
Ever since I was old enough to be conscious of my own sexuality I've considered myself neither straight nor lesbian. I wasn't bisexual either. I guess the best way to describe how I feel about my sexuality is by my defining though on the subject: "Why should I be constricted by sex/gender when looking for my mate?!" I tend to be a hopeless romantic and believe in mating for life... I'm sure I will sound corny, but what if, let's say, I were to identify myself as straight and begin my search for my mate, and I never find this person, because he turned out to be a she. I lose. Same goes if I were to identify as a lesbian and my mate turned out to be male. So then - why not bisexual? Well, because I don't see myself as liking and being attracted, physically and/or romantically, to both sexes/genders, but as a person, who would like/become attracted/fall in love with simply another person, regardless of gender/sex. This is why bisexuality never fit, when I tried to define my sexuality. And finally, it's not that I'm gender-blind, it's more that I don't care, as long as I find this one person that I can call my 'mate' and that I can love with all my might! Corny, right?
So far I'm the only one to know about my pansexual identity. I don't see myself as closeted. I'm not afraid or ashamed to reveile my sexuality. I am more conserned of how this will affect and possibly hurt my family and relatives. I would rather me hurt, than them. However, should the most marvelous thing happen and I find my mate, I don't plan or intend to hide or lie about how I feel about this person. I hope that when that time comes and I'd have to cross that bridge, my family will be understanding and suportive, because I know they all love me as much as I love them.