So, My Uphill Struggle

Ever since I stumbled across the phrase Passive- Aggressive I am determined to not have that define my personality any more, even though it's early days I can already see some progress.

I'm sorry to use my boyfriend as an example again, because it makes him seem like a bad person when he actually isn't - in fact I think part of the reason the way he acts upsets me so much is because I come from quite a close-knit family who spends a lot of time together, whereas his family all pretty much live different lives under the same roof and spend time together when watching TV, eating, or occasionally just chilling out; so I understand this is going to be a massive stretch from him and that it'll take time. But anyways here I go:

Last weekend I spent my weekend at his house as usual, and he did warn me that he would be spending the majority of the time doing coursework. I was fine with that until when we were watching TV together he excused himself to get his shoes and walk his dog. 20 minutes later I went up and found him chatting on this internet gaming forum and I wasn't happy. He was going to be on the computer all weekend anyway, he couldn't spend a couple of hours with me?

So granted he had to ask me if I was angry, but for once I didn't deny my feelings and give him the cold shoulder. I came clean straight away, and even through realising my positive actions I wasn't as angry anymore because I understood that this was the first time I had admitted to him I was upset over something, progress on my part. So I think I'm going to carry on at this level for the time being, and hopefully eventually I'll be able to say straight out "I'm upset, this is why...". I'll keep you posted :)

ClosedBook ClosedBook
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 3, 2009

I'm so glad you made this progress ClosedBook. It gives me some hope as I start my journey...

Thank you so much guys, your support means the world to me - especially because you yourselves know what I'm going through. I'm betting most people would be like "Stop sulking, it's infantile" without realising that sometimes we don't even know we're doing it, it's a learnt habit. But you guys are just as capable of breaking this habit as I am. I'm so glad I've got somewhere to keep checking in, it makes it all so much easier...

my hus band and i are going on 3 years and i have just recently (like last 6 months) have been able to tell him if im upset and why, before if i admitted if i was upset it was a very rare thing and i usually would end up crying from my bottled up anger, now i can tell him most the times and i hardly cry anymore, so i say keep it up you'll start feeling better about yourself! good luck!