I Have Issues

I have always had low self esteem, ever since I was about 14. I was always the quiet one at school. I just shrunk into the background and followed the crowd. I never thought I was pretty, skinny or funny enough for any of the boys, so I never made the effort. I let my 'friends' dictate to me how I should act and dress, and when I left school I came away with absolutely no sense of self whatsoever. This attitude slowly extended into other areas of my life, to the point where I thought I couldn't do anything and that I'd be stuck in a dead end job forever. Over the years I've experimented with drugs and alcohol, constantly in the pursuit of happiness, but never finding it. When I got pregnant everything became much clearer to me. I suddenly realised how little people respected me when almost everyone I knew was pushing me into having an abortion. I took control for the first time in my life and it felt so liberating. Sadly I now have post natal depression, am taking anti depressants and am booked in for some counselling, but I think it has been a long time coming. I still have self esteem issues, but I think I am on the road to overcoming them and becoming a better person

thesockqueen thesockqueen
18-21, F
Mar 1, 2009