I think, I am falling for someone. I have started dating (since last 1 month and a half) a man who is married and separated with his wife years back. He came to have a look at our house to move in when I met him for the first time. Back then I did not know much about him.

Only later did he tell me and my flatmate that he was separated. We were cool with it and but somehow he just did not move in with us.

We all became friends and started talking/ meeting at least once or twice a week. My flatmate always cancelled the plans at the end moment, so it was just the two of us spending time together.

Oh! By the way. I am turning 25 tomorrow and he is 40.

The last time I meet him was 2 days back. I was very high and I asked him to tell me his story. He did. He has been married for 10 years now. Separated with his wife 7 years back.

He started dating another woman 3 years back but she ran away with another guy. He was hurt again. He almost went to rehabilitation center (that's what he told me).

He has a son with his wife who is now 9 years old. He goes and meets him once in 3 months. His son has his number and calls him whenever he wants to talk. He knows nothing about his parents. He just knows that his daddy stays out because of some work assignments. Though I loved looking at the little one's picture and maybe I would even want to meet him sometime, I feel a little uneasy now.

I do not even know if I love JAR (That is what his name initials are). I just know I feel very strongly for him. I am very very comfortable around him. I love his company but I am afraid to meet him. Every time I meet him, I like him even more.

I have so much going on in my head. I want to be with him but I don't know how. I cannot even tell anybody about my relationship with him. People will think I am crazy. Only because he is married, separated and has a 9 year old son. Hah! Irony. I am afraid of getting into relationships. I feel weird and full of fear.

I sometimes wonder if I am the only one who is going through this situation. I really need help to figure out how to go about the whole situation.

Should I still go ahead with the relationship? There has been no lie told. Everything between us is very clear. The only problem is cannot tell my family or friends about it. I am struggling hard with my feelings right now. I cannot even tell him how I feel about it. He does not wants me to rush with things, I don't want it either.

AasthaPrakash AasthaPrakash
Aug 20, 2014