Life Of A Teenage P L U S Size.

My Mother Used to Call Me "Skinny Mini" I'm Guess i was really Skinny When i was younger. However When i reached age 5, i was always carrying a little extra weight. Here and there i would add some pounds. I Used to be a very active little girl. i miss that girl. That girl is gone. replaced with a girl who snacks all day, Sits around, Sleeps Continuously (But C'mon, Who DOESN'T like to sleep?) and sits on the computer for hours at a time. when i reached the tender age of 13 i was way bigger then everyone else, there was only one girl who i connected with, she was my best friend. she was, and still is a plus size girl. but i had been friends with her since i was about 6 or 7 years of age. anywho... All my friends were so much smaller than me, always wearing the "nice, cool" clothes. Size 00 all the way to 5's were considered SKINNY. i was never that small. Constantly getting picked on for my size, i had become very sad, very closed off, isolated. lost within the creases of sane and insane. never wanting to come back from my imagination. dreaming that one day I'd find someone who would love me, for who i am. guy's never, nor do they today; like me. every boy friend i had ever had was made to be my boyfriend; By Who i THOUGHT was my best friend at the time (who isn't the plus size girl) She was The Skinny Blonde-Blue eye'd girl. who wore the skinny jeans and the dark make up, who every guy wanted. I always tried to fit in with her. but i was always "The big one". Middle school was a pain in my *** I Wanted to die during that time. i tried exercising, i would loose a couple pounds, gain them back, loose another couple pounds and gain more back. it was an emotional, and physical roller coaster with my being. i had tried to love myself how i am. I always thought "God, I'm So Ugly. No One will ever want someone like me. no one want's to be with the fat, ugly girl" I always, constantly thought i was hideous and huge and disgusting. I started changing my appearance, wore converse, shirts that were not oversized (mom always thought Big baggy shirts made people look smaller) tight-ish jeans, heavy eyeliner and straightened my hair all the time. The only Way i'd feel pretty was if i were to spend and hour doing my make up every morning. I slowly started not caring what people thought, i started to find my passion, hair and make up. i did my hair, cut it different. dyed it a lot, and did crazy make up. i loved life for the most part, in 8th grade. Now 9th grade, i went through a mild depression. and now i'm me. I'm who i want to be. changing myself to what i wanna be. happy. do what i want. i havent worn make up for 1 week and a half, to school. people see who I am. and people will accept me. i'm Me. And that's who i am always going to me. i have good days, and bad days. but everyday is always going to be a challenge when you are a plus size girl. all of us plus size girls are amazing and strong. and we will fight to be happy. and we'll never give up.

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4 Responses Feb 11, 2010

Coming from a girl whio has been a plus size all her life it is tuff out there. The kids in high school and even your piers out in the real world are cruel. I had to put up with the smerks,remarks, the looks, and sometimes nasty comments from them. But as I got older I decide that if they didn t see me THE REAL me then they dont need to be my friends.. I have alot of plus size friends who are happy and carefree and they are some of the most fun friends that I have. They will do anything for you, they are what true friends are all about!!

Do what makes you happy. Do not think about what others think. What makes a person beautiful is how the act and how they feel. What others think is not important. Just be yourself. If you do what your peers want you will never be happy. My first two years of highschool I tried to dress and act to fit in. I was getting tired of acting so I dressed & acted like I wanted. No; I was not a rebel. I just expressed my thoughts and went on my way. I learned that I actually had more friends than I realised.

i know how you feel/ i have been over weight since i was yonger. and high school and middle school were a night mare, until i became home schooled because i couldnt take it anymore. if your wernt a size 2 and a cheerleader or a football pla<x>yer you were noone. so i became home schooled. and i LOVED it. now i am in college and am doing it online. not having to worry about people's gossip really helped my grades. i am more confident, and i feel great. high schoolers are just mean, but i always try to remember that I am beautiful, and my fiance tells me this all the time. your beautiful inside and out.

You are a beautiful, beautiful girl.<br />
Stay strong, and all ways believe in your self.<br />
Love from Pam.