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My Reason For Polyamory

I feel that relationships which are based around fortifying and feeding the self-worth of yourself and your partner are deleterious to the phenomenon of true, selfless love. True, selfless love is ego-free. Without the desire to feed the ego, there is no jealousy when the loved one is seen loving another. The normal reaction, "but what about ME!?", is not fed. Without the ego, there is no I in the relationship, only You. This is conducive to what I feel is the true 'purpose' of loving relationships: divine union.

In other words, in a relationship, the attitude I adopt is to give, and ask for nothing in return. Not even exclusive monogamy (though I am not against monogamy). Whatever you want to give, I will accept as a gift, not as a payment. My love is free.
saintbryan saintbryan 21-25, M 10 Responses Dec 15, 2007

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interesting! if ya want, i'd like to talk about the idea we agree on, and how u came to this solution

I love this!! It explains something to me that I had been trying to put into words but could not. I wish this was a letter that I could give to those that ask why I believe polyamory is my path.

Thank you for writing this! Exactly what I wanted to hear. I am on a journey to let my ego go, or at least better understand it. 4 years ago my wife had an affair. It nearly destroyed me. I have been lost since, had an affair of my own, and been on a spiritual journey to understand my ego, fears, insecurities, and to learn what love really is. Love is free and without expectation. My expectation of my wife was to love me without ever hitting my insecurities and for my love to be everything that she ever needed. Love just doesn't work that way.

I totally agree I have had expectations in my partners that were shattered when they had affairs it flaired up more insecurities than I thought I had. But love is suppose to be free without any expectations.

Kind of cool. Never heard of polyamorous people. My wife would never be cool with it. I think this term is reserved for real idealistic people. It's not such a bad idea, I just don't think most people could do what you say you do.

Very well said and true in many ways - thanks!

I was so taken aback by this. It seems we paint the same sunrise and enjoy the same sunset. = )

I feel a little better now that I've been privileged to read this and a great deal more confident in writing my essay on Polyamory, Systems, and Boundaries that I've chosen as my final project for my Post Modernism class for personal reasons and even more personal understanding and growth.

-Kristin

I was so taken aback by this. It seems we paint the same sunrise and enjoy the same sunset. = )

I feel a little better now that I've been privileged to read this and a great deal more confident in writing my essay on Polyamory, Systems, and Boundaries that I've chosen as my final project for my Post Modernism class for personal reasons and even more personal understanding and growth.

-Kristin

Beautifully written...I have to agree with you!!

Amen brother!

This is something many people often have a hard time grasping. I don't mind having the ego I have, perhaps I'm a bit smug about being so well-loved and wanted, but at the same time I want to give my love freely and accept gifts without asking for anything. It is a hard balance within me. So I came across this story at an useful time - thank you. :)