Down With All The Prejudices! Long Live True Love!

Can one love more than one person? Sure! We've all loved many people, parents, siblings, friends and lovers... but it seems there is this kind of love, this so very special kind of love, that you can only give in one very specific direction. You might call it your soul-mate, your other-half, but how can we give ourselves totally in two different directions? Perhaps we would brake apart.

I think this is where monotheistic religions get their appeal, not many Gods, but just one God. With many Gods you can, like the ancient Greeks, have conversations, be inspired, share and live adventures. But with just one God you can really give yourself totally and completely, to truly belong.

However, I'm just a person, I'm not a God. And my sexy, beautiful, amazing Princess, is, alas, a person, marvelous and adorable to be with, but a person nevertheless.

A person changes, has many layers, many interpretations and possibilities, and a person is only half-real, as her true nature is always hidden and a bit unpredictable. Sure I can love, have pleasure and adventures with a social construct, in fact it might help my social construction and reconstruction too. But can you totally give yourself to a social construct? Can you, my lover, give yourself wholly to me? In a sense yes, in the moment, when we are in love, immersed in love, dancing in love, when we are one in making love. But, after that moment, there are so many more moments in which we are so many things to each other.

It is not just that we are poly in what and who we love. We are poly in who we are, how we behave, what we believe. Even if I loved only one person in the whole world, it would still be polyamory because the person would change all the time, and I would have to adapt, to change, to love her in all these respects and changes and aspects, sometimes contradictory.

So polyamory is not, in this perspective, an option. It is a fact of life that many of us try to hide away. We try to say to ourselves that "I" do not change, that "you" do not change, that we are in some important sense fixed and immutable. But that's a lie. And we lie so that we can feel safe, in a fake world we can understand. And when change comes, sometimes drastically, like in Alzheimer, we cry and we blame life and whatever, but, all the time, we were never more than fleeting glimpses of memory, beliefs and attitudes.

This idea that there is one and only one person for me, made me suffer a lot and made me make horrible mistakes and deny my own feelings of love replacing them with guilt and preposterous explanations. Today I know and accept that I love many people, my family, friends, all my lovers that are still living in my heart as intensely and truly as they ever were, and the Princess that fills my whole heart, with which I live and share everything, that is every part of what I love. For all the women and all the men, and everything is in fact just a part of the whole. And you can't really love anyone truly without loving everything and everyone - the whole which each of one partially represents and is a door into.

I suppose that she has some erotic dreams with other men. It would be difficult to imagine that there are such requested actors, paid millions just to appear, if they didn't feed many fancy fantasies. And if she likes me she is bound to like other men too, we are not so different, neither in body, mind or capacity to love.

I have to say also that I have a lot of interests (reading, writing, etc) and that, for me, it is already difficult to give all the attention a relationship with one person entails. I could not imagine having a relationship with two people, as that would (I imagine) absorb all of my time and stamina. But I hate the social prejudice and the lie that force us to live relationships that are dead and nothing but burdens, that make us feel guilty and confused for simply loving more than one: all those lies that speak of healthy and sacred relationships and are the cause of sickness, perversion and misery.

So, down with the prejudices! Down with this corrupt society. Lets bring in free love, truth, no guilt, no shame. Just b u! I'll just b me! And we'll dance in this vessel swirling in this sea of stars... loving everything and everyone, in its true essence, in its true journey.

Related music and poem:
Music: Imagine, by John Lennon.
Poem: The Silent Flute, by Bruce Lee:

"I wish neither to possess,
Nor to be possessed.
I no longer covet paradise,
More important, I no longer fear hell.

The medicine for my suffering
I had within me from the very beginning,
But I did not take it.
My ailment came from within myself,
But I did not observe it
Until this moment.

Now I see that I will never find the light
Unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel,
Consuming myself."
SeaofThought SeaofThought
36-40, M
3 Responses Nov 18, 2010

There are ways that we agree, and in some ways we disagree, and I find it beautiful! <br />
'Twas a joy to read this. Thank you!

I'm glad you liked it!! Thanks for your comment : )

I completely agree, having a partner, or partners, does not "necessarily" imply true love. Certainly not if there are feelings of envy that turn into fighting. Just as if you have two siblings that fight over the love of their parents, that also is not love, although it might happen inside a love relationship.
Polygamy, as the understanding that love is universal, is just a matter of personal realization and nothing more. But implementing a successful romantic relation is a much more difficult endeavour and demands lots of things, some of which are outside of our control. Having several sexual partners is, given our cultural background, especially taxing, and impossible / impractical for most. One of the reasons is precisely envy. In searching for love, the last thing we want is end up in a fight!
But relationships can be as diverse as people: what is bad for some might be good for others.

PS - in my personal case I never had, nor do I desire to have, a romantic relationship with more than one person. My text just said that we can and, in fact, do love many people at the same time, although, probably, to deal with one person is already so difficult, that one relationship is more than enough (for me at least)!!
There is a large difference between loving someone and developing a relationship. Love is free! You can Love the entire world, if you want. But a relationship demands care, trust, lots of time, patience, the ability to forgive, to understand... all that is very demanding. That's why I am happily "married" for a long time with just one person. And my Princess takes up all of my time, and I have none for no one else (at that level). But that's just me. Each one of us must see what leads to his / her fulfilment! :)

thanks for your insight, it's very true that this is not just a lifestyle but a representation of how the poly experience helps us grow and understand ourselves in the universe. thanks also for the great poem.

Glad you liked it!! (sorry for the late reply!) :)