Looking For Some AdviceI recently learned what poly is and that I am not alone in thinking this. I have always been in love with 2 guys at the same time, but never knew there was an actual word and definition for it. I am completely in love with my husband of 10 years and with my best friend of 19 years. I fell in love with my best friend 13 years ago and we lost touch for 12 years. We were both going thru bad break ups and unavailable to each other at the time. He just came back into my life and all the feelings are still there, only stronger. Its as though we haven't missed a day the way we picked right back up talking. I have not lost any love for my husband. My husband knows, understands and accepts that I am polyamorous. He is all for me starting a relationship with my best friend. My husband has told him he is ok with us becoming a couple.
Problem: My best friend knows nothing about polyamory. He thinks anything outside of a marriage is cheating and is worried he will break up our marriage. (He broke up a marriage many years ago). I have told him I am still in love with him but he says he can't return my feelings because I am married. I believe he is one that in time will understand poly. I am just not sure how to approach it with him. I can see it in his eyes and his actions that he does love me. We still greet each other with a kiss, hold hands, cuddle and even share the same bed clothed. He just won't admit it out loud or probably even to himself. I want so much to be more than just friends and I really think he does too. Its not even about sex, just I want to share the same emotions. We are both in our 30s and I don't think he has ever had a woman love him as much as I do. I know I can't force my beliefs on him either. Does anyone know how to slowly, without scaring him off, explain it so he understands?
Rikki78 31-35, F 5 Responses 2 Sep 20, 2011