Icarus

The Saturday of this weekend last year (March 7 2009) was a bit of an "Icarus" moment, one girlfriend (YA) was sitting adoringly beside me at a Burlesque show, while the other (PM) was sending me adoring messages on the phone and I was chatted up by, as YA put it "the most gorgous girl in the place".  Unfortunately, the wax started to melt when the next day PM mentioned she had met on Fri 6th the guy she eventually broke up with me for, to go back to monogamy.  (Of course, at the time she said that fancying him did not mean she loved me any less as she was fully into polyamory having "come out" to her parents, her workmates etc).  Meanwhile, me not arguing with YA that said chatting-up lady was the most gorgeous girl in the place led YA to extract from me that not only did I find said lady more gorgeous than YA but that I also found PM more gorgeous than YA.  This became known as "gorgeousgate" and was probably the seed of the destruction of YA and I's relationship.  This was me being too honest, possibly, but I also genuinely was of the view that looks are not everything (which we men are told we SHOULD believe!).

Now YA has a girlfriend and two boyfriends and PM is probably having a celebration on the anniversary of her new love (who in an utterly bizarre coincidence lives across the road from me) and I am alone.  Yes a bit of self-pity, but I guess things will change for the better at some point.

Phanuel Phanuel
46-50, M
1 Response Mar 6, 2010

Anything is possible. But that's not how I feel now. I have been engaged, I have been married. I didn't feel any stronger about those girls than I did about YA and PM. By the way, AFTER she had met the guy she dumped me for PM wrote this for me - "As our souls dance together through the sands of time, I will always be yours, you will always be mine. Our hearts will hear music, as from heaven above. I'll always be with you, forever in love". Two weeks later she abandoned me. I had written songs for both of them. The idea that polyamorous love is half-hearted or "waiting til something better comes along" doesn't apply to my mentality.