I'm So Tired Of Struggling

 I have been poor my whole life. In a nation as wealthy as America, i often feel like i don't fit in. My friends will say things like, "i'm so broke," while they have $4,000 in their savings account and parents who will hand them cash whenever they want it. Everything i see, read, or hear about is geared towards the middle or upper classes. The working poor are simply ignored.

I moved out on my own at 16 years old due to a bad family situation. I had to drop out of school to do it. I have been working full-time pretty much ever since. At 25, i went back to school, as i felt it was my only way out. I'm still there, at 28, entirely on loans and very small grants. Although i go the most inexpensive school in my area, I worry constantly about the debt i'm accumulating (it will be around $30,000 when all's said and done). 

I have, at times, resorting to selling my possessions to buy food, and even once, to buy Christmas gifts for my niece. I resorted to much, much worse when i was between 16 and 18, and couldn't legally work without a work permit, which my mother refused to sign.

Being so broke often compromises my ideals. Any clothes that i can afford are made in sweatshops. I want to buy organic and ethically produced foods, but i have to buy whatever is on sale, generic, or i have a coupon for. There's no room for ideals in my checkbook.

My husband and i both work and go to school full-time. I have the happiest marriage you could ever hope for, and the only thing we ever fight about is money. I had to switch to part-time work this year in order to stay in school. I make about $100 a week. This doesn't even cover groceries for myself, my husband, and our pets.

We live paycheck to paycheck. My teeth are rotting out of my head but i can't afford dental care. I have not had health insurance for 12 years. We just had to go on government health care. I never thought i would be here, at 28, on welfare. I'm doing all the right things, but it never gets better. My husband and i are waiting to have kids until we are financially ready, and who knows if that will ever happen. In order to be responsible, and stay on birth control, i have to have annual gyno exams. My last one cost $775. When the clinic worker told me that if i paid up front i could get a discount, making my exam around $425. When I told her i didn't have $400 in my bank account, she said, "Can't you use mom's credit card?" like it was the most normal question in the world. 

I'm tired. I'm tired of taking the bus. I'm tired of fighting over $30 purchases. I'm tired of worrying. 

I'm tired of struggling just to get by. 

Update: 11/8/13
Thanks to everyone who commented. I appreciate your kind words and shared stories. It's important that these kinds of stories are shared. People need to realize the severity of the problem we as country are facing. 

Well, it's been 4 years since I posted this story and a lot has changed. I'm still happily married and still have my pets (and we're fostering a baby stray right now, too!). I graduated college at the top of my class (4.0 GPA!) after working, doing an unpaid internship, and volunteering while attending school. It was a very hard time but I got through it. 

We moved out of state and I'm working at a non-profit and making $38,000 a year, which is a lot of money to me. The job is stressful and tough, but it pays the bills. The cost of living is very high here, so that salary doesn't go far. Our rent is $1,100 a month (not a great place or neighborhood, either) and my student loan payments are $360 a month. I won't even get into utilities! BUT, things are still better. I have health insurance! I had my teeth fixed! And my furbabies eat the best quality food. I am happy. I don't have much expendable income, but I also don't have to constantly balance the checkbook down to the penny anymore, which is a GIANT weight off my shoulders. 

Things sometimes get better, but they also sometimes get worse, despite doing all the right things. I realize that everything is temporary, and I'm not getting too used to comfort. I do think the US does a terrible job of looking after our poor and working class. The assumption that these people are just lazy and have all the latest high-tech gadgets and just prioritize badly is flat out WRONG. Calling things like doctor visits "frivolous expenses" is just as wrong. Working class people in this country need job security, a living wage, and the ability to retire with dignity. That is not asking much.

At one point in time in this country, you could support a family of 4 with a factory job. That is not the case anymore. It's time we look at what has caused this change and reverse it. Working people should not have to resort to welfare. Not here. Not ever. 

Sending positive thoughts to all those who commented and those who are also fighting to keep your head above water. I hope the winds change in your favor and you don't have to struggle anymore. Hang in there <3 


Mistletoe10 Mistletoe10 26-30, F 71 Responses Nov 17, 2009

Your Response


Life is a horrible and cruel place. A place where no one gives a damn about you. Even If you work hard, everyday society punishes you. There is no help for those who are single, work hard, did not have children at a young age. Those of us who live the straight and narrow; society kicks us into the dirt. People who do not work and have countless children get tax deductions while the hard working man or woman has to pay taxes. People who go years without trying to look for work can go and sign up for food stamps and Medicaid programs to help pay for their health. meanwhile, those who slave away at their jobs making peanuts can barely afford to buy food and have a place to live. Society rewards those who makes poor decisions and punishes those who work hard. I have no health insurance, I have no food and I work full time at a health and family services place that issues out foodstamps, Govt medical, free day care assistance, assistance with name it! people who sit on their tush and do nothing but complain about how long they must stand in line for govt programs live better than some people who work 8-10 hours a day. It makes me angry! I am angry when I see someone swipe their EBT Card while holding a new Iphone at the grocery store...with 150.00 worth of junk food in their cart...and here I am standing behind them....with barely enough food to make it through the week.... Our society disgusts me. I get sick and have to pay a co-pay even when I pay for insurance out of my check while others have govt health care that is free...the more babies an irresponsible woman has, the more money the govt will give her....yet a single hard working woman will struggle in poverty. this life is ridiculous and I am bitter and angry at how society punishes those who actually try and rewards those who are reckless and make poor decisions...

I am right there with you. I''ve been struggling since I left home at 17. I'm in serious debt and since being laid off in 2009 I've been removed from an industry that I was very good at what I did. Every time I get a little money save to finish a licensing exam or take a course to improve my career options some mishap occurs and it's back to square one. This morning my battery died and my car wouldn't start. I missed a day of work because of it and the repair amounts to slightly more than what I would have earned today. I stay positive, believe that God has a plan for my life, but this year my faith has been challenged to its maximum. I want to believe, I have to believe, that a change is coming soon but this year is knocking me down I'm not sure how I will ever meet my potential. Thank you for sharing your story. It is very inspiring. Hanging on.

I feel your pain. I'm 23 with a son and no education. I have no where for myself and own nothing. It's not that I'm not trying but no opportunities presents itself. I'm so tired of crying. I had nothing growing up and I still have nothing. I worry so much because I have a son and it hurts me to think I can't take care of him. And worst I have no one, no help. I so want to go back to school but I can't because I have no money. I resently apply for a online course at ashworth college and I can't pay for it. I'm not working and I don't know what to do. I think so many things, my son is the only thing keeping me alive and sane

Wow... it really feels like a whole other world to read this coming from Sweden.

Here you could theoretically live your whole life with at least 1000$ falling into your bank account every month as long as you can prove that you're looking for jobs and take them from time to time.

Respect to all of you whoa are experiencing similar situations as the OP, if only you'd live in Sweden...

I have done everything in life that I am "supposed to do in life." I am 30 years old raised in a single parent home. I know what it is like to struggle and I have made my best effort for a better life. NO MATTER WHAT EFFORT I MAKE, life just doesn't seem to work out. Im single, I don't have any kids, ive never been on drugs, I graduated from college, I am government employee...and still I struggle. I work sooooo hard everyday from 8 until 7:00...I come home at night and I just cry. I have no money. I hate my job. I go to work everyday and I feel like im in jail. I work sooooooooo much and get paid sooooooooooooo little. It feels like modern day slavery. I went to college hoping to find a career that would allow me to take care of myself an d not struggle...yet I make 25,000 a year working under a boss who Is nasty and horrible, my job Is taxing mentally and I just want to escape but I cant because there are no good jobs on earth these days. I am broke! I work so hard yet still I am broke! I would like to be able to go to the grocery store and by 50.00 worth of groceries. When i get my paycheck. after my rent, life insurance, student loans and utilities drain the life out of me...i have 50.00 left. 40.00 of it will go to gas to get me back to work and i will have a whopping 10.00 left to buy groceries to get me through the next 2 weeks. I CANT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS! i have hereditary health issues that prevent me from working a second job---trust me ive thought about it! i don't know what else to do. They say when God shuts one door another will standing in a dark hallway praying for so much as a window to crack open to let through the tiniest ray of sun. I hope life gets better.

Hi, I just want to say that I feel you.
me and my mom were already evicted once from our house last year, and now we are threatened with eviction from our apartment.

My mom is a diabetic who cannot get her medicine and I am out of college this quarter because no money.

I am applying for jobs but I haven't been called back... even when I made the 40 minute walk from my apartment to the place. Because I don't have a car. I would need a car inorder to take certain classes at a certain campus... that's if I ever get back in school.

I just want to post a link to a guide that can help a lot of people dealing with this. Here it is:

You should all read it. I know what it's like to struggle for money, so coming across that guide was one of my most fortunate moments. I make a lot of money thanks to it now. And I don't have it anywhere near as bad.

Ya,I had to move out due to a bad family situation. I want so badly to be a real estate agent but course are 400 dollars. My brother is a **** addict and got kicked out of my dads house ,so now he lives with me. He also has disabilities. However we just got a note in the mail saying after his annual evaluation ,they are now claiming that after 18 years he isn't disabled. To top it off my brother and myself worked at the same place,and since he did some bad stuff there I got fired too. So now I no longer qualify for food help. Plus my brother cannot afford his half of the rent without that assistance. Sigh,it is very hard. I just don't know anymore I have done so many bad things to get by. I have truly compromised who I am. I mean most recently I took to selling my panties on the internet...every girls dream right....sigh,I am too overweight to be an egg donor or surrogate mother. I have filled out 23 applications and cant get a job. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be poor anymore I will be 21 this year. I spent my youth raising my 4 siblings and battling depression,now I am saddled caring for a sibling again ,and I just want to be free to live and be happy. How will I have a happy and fulfilled life if I cant ever focus on my needs. I literally have 72 cents in my bank account ,and a car payment due. the crap icing on my **** cake of life is that because of some tax snag,after waiting another month for my tax return I am going to be waiting 5 additional weeks for my return. there goes my rent next month . sigh,I cry as I type this because I have no hope.

I was with a guy for 3 years, he always told me he loved me and that we wouldn't break up because if you love someone you make it work. We could never work out a time when we were both free and just a couple days ago he said we should just be friends. I know he dont me love anymore. When we were dating he said to everyone that I was his girlfriend and introduced me, told his friends he really liked me and told me he loved me, I wanted to be with him again but I never knew what to do. I tried for a long time with other spell casters to get him back but dr.marnish was the ONLY spell caster that could do the love spell for me that worked, if you need help call him +15036626930, he will always come to your aid, Obviously dr marnish is the REAL DEAL!

I am fifty. I was raised by loving parents who worked hard their entire lives and they made enough to get by on. My father retired at fifty seven after a massive heart attack. My parents were blessed to inherit some cash from a friend who had no family so they didn't have to totally struggle the years leading up to my fathers death.

I was married young, worked briefly until I had my three kids and helped my husband by babysitting and temp jobs. We lived nicely but no where near the status of most of our friends. I have since divorced and remarried. My current husband is sixty and received his Masters in Counseling three years ago. He can't find a job that pays what his student loans require for repayment. His wages are garnished now. I am beside myself having to live like a pauper at age fifty. I feel like I am always the one taking care of others and I get taken advantage of because of my kind nature. My husband is now forced to take more of my paycheck, more than half of it each month because of his garnishment. I am bitter. My ship will never come in. I will get sick one day and still have to work while I watch others go on their third vacation in a year!

I guess I wrote this because I am so bitter. Thanks for sharing your story. At least you are young with hope for a better future. Good luck.

Great that yo posted this. A lot of people do have different, but similar cases in life. I have myself been through quite a lot of bad times. Dont worry you will come out of it as a much better person than the one you were before.

I have literally gone through hell itself, i cried in despair and wanted to end my life etc, but nothing happend, not even a single hair on my body was damaged.

Now even if the whole world is going to collapse i stay calm, cause i know the lord holds me by my hand. This i gained over time and i believe you are in the same process. So cheer up, and keep praying and keep pushing things. Better days lie ahead.

No eye has seen or no ear has heard what the lord has prepared for you.

Best of luck dear and pray for me too.

I happened to read this through tears and a wounded heart because I begin to feel so forgotten alone and heart broken when I look at my family and realize we work so hard to have so little. But we are alive and well so my life isn't without purpose. I still wish we could afford to buy necessities for our kids without being broke or falling behind on bills. I'm praying for brighter days, And a financial increase. I haven't given up all though I want to.... I won't allow myself to quit.

i got myself out of my hole by a lot of prayer to break the principality of poverty...then i started working on my computer doing surveys. i found a way to make money but it takes work..doing surveys it takes a while but they pay you when you get to 8$ and i have had no problems getting paid.with the affiliate program i get to make money advertising on google..then make money on everyone who signs up a cut off what they make..its pretty good system. after a while as i started moving opportunities started presenting themselves and i always gave 10% of my money to God if you dont believe in God then give to charity ..i know this sounds counter productive but when you stop thinking of money as a means to an end but a way to help others and something to be managed instead of gotten then you will get the right idea about it...your money is your provision and when you dont have a lot you must spend it on NEEDS not wants ..and dont look at it as YOURS freely you got it and freely you must use it for bills and to help people get to their goals too...if you can...then you will find yourself using your money as a tool and not thinking whether you have it or not.. money is like seeds when you plant them to make more money you make money ...when you get money you buy tools and stuff to make you money...after you pay what bills are due today ..let tomorrow wait for tomorrow...but out of every job you make money on spend some on something that will make you more..this is a seed and when all your irons are in the fire and the seed in the ground then the crop grows without you knowing where it came from...but the most important thing is to not think of money as YOUR money but the money you must use to manage your household and to budget your an outsider.. when you get personal with your money then you enter a codependent relationship with it...and when its gone then you cant think right ...because your mourning the loss and wont live normally....MY CAT taught me when i was looking at him one time telling him about my problems and it occurred to me the cat doesnt have pockets for money but he is happy because he has food and water and a house to live in...he is busy being a cat..i should be busy being David and then the money will be secondary ...i dont even carry money anymore and try to live without it fast food and other impulse buying are a trap of "MY MONEY" instead of my resources and funds to manage my life and i must manage them wisely

I stumbled on this at a low point in my life, thank you for sharing this with us. People talk about God and keeping faith in your life, I don't think that is the case. Much like you dear writer keep persevering and doing what you have to do to make it work. I'm 46 and work for 6th a year with a stay at home wife who cares after my children and mother. The bills pile up and we trade hours for dollars and I'm just getting tired of the day to day. Thank you for bringing a little more perspective back into my life.

Great post, and glad to see your life is doing much better. Just a few simple points I'd like to make:

-Always put God first
-Have a financial plan (and write it down)

Blessings and peace to you,


I love your positive attitude dear. Congrats on the amazing accomplishments

Jessy, I could not have described the current situation in America any better than what you have. I respect you for the hard work you have been doing, and continue to do. I am a born again christian and was told something that might make sense to you, it really did to me. for a non believer that is wealthy beyond our comprehension, this is the closest they will ever get to Heaven. For the believer, this is the closest we will ever get to hell. I guess what I am trying to say is, the grand canyon lyes between the rich and the poor, but it will change for us for the better. Just keep your head up, and remember your not alone in this struggle, my family is in the same situation, and the vast majority of Americans are with you too. I have so much more respect for someone that works hard and never gives up, over people that are handed everything to them on a silver spoon, with wealth and working positions handed down to family and friends generation after generation. Keep up the good work.

Christmas is very depressing for me, especially in the last few years. I think the Country is in financial crisis when it comes to the middle class and the poor and all these corporations and politicians want to do is cut more government programs that help us, all the while giving/getting bailouts and tax-cuts for gambling our money and outsourcing jobs. Why shouldn't the minimum wage be raised? Minimum wage is suppose to rise with inflation, but in the last fifty years it's only risen about 3 to 4 times. The wealthy top 1% (400 people) have 40% of the wealth in this country. They own 50% percent of investments and stock, while suffering 90-something percent own half of a percent; because we are too poor to put any money away. There are people so poor that they don't even register near the poverty line, they are nickel and diming it. I am a mother of two and I work 3 jobs and I'm going to school full-time. In my twenties I was able to work various well-paying jobs to support my 1 daughter at the time and I because most of those jobs were tip based. I didn't have insurance but I was able to put food on the table and a roof over our head. I like you, don't have parents that can help me financially so I can totally relate. I don't think I am lazy or work less than a CEO of some big box company, if anything I think I work 100 x's harder like the majority of us. WE have to change the way the people think because we all have inherit rights to live. I think too many listen to the propaganda spewed by the media and these right-winged politicians. They rather feed us bs and sway us away from the real issues; a woman's reproductive rights, gay rights, and legalizing marijuana are not exactly important issues affecting our country. We have starving children in America. Most of the people working these minimum wage jobs have families, the average age of a fast food worker is NOT 15-18, it's 28... Even people with degrees have a hard time finding jobs and good pay. Education was once suppose to be a way to get out of poverty, not to keep the poverty wheel turning. WE have to start doing are own real research for our own peace of mind and pass on the message-- knowledge is power.

I am 25 years old, the same age you were when you went back to school. But, I am actually having to leave for the 3rd time because I simply cannot afford to take care of myself and attend classes. I have to be at work all the time just to stay afloat, and that leaves no time for Trigonometry classes. Of course I know I am who I am because of my struggles, but what really bothers me is that I can't afford to have children. I feel like school is about class and is ridiculously important, but I have educated myself on crucial topics like economics and sociology and it actually disturbs me that because of circumstances I don't get to share that with my offspring. I work so hard, take care of my customers and ride public transportation in freezing and sweltering weather everyday and its like all the 'responsible' (middle claas) people around me would be disgusted if me and my husband got pregnant but couldn't afford to finance a hospital stay. What about health insurance for the child? I'm not one of those baby-crazy 20-somethings either, I run from possible conception like any other 25 year old, but I was raised understanding that 2 of the most important days in a woman's life is when she walks across th stage-thats her work; and when (if she chooses) she gives birth- thats God's work. I just never thought being born poor would cost me birthrights, but it happens all the time, all over the world. I am greatful that I live in relative physical peace and I still have the right to make decisions for myself as a woman and a spirit, but anyone who doesn't know this already, please understand: our choices all affect one another in deeper ways than we intend. I know from my incomplete education that poverty IS A CHOICE- one made on our behalf by institutions. One thing I never understood was why everyone at our educational institutions seems to know that but can't fix it...

well, I am the youngest of 4 kids- the only non ivf baby. So in my parents eyes im the reason they are so poor. They never taught us to save they would just waste money on smokes. I cant borrow money cause there isnt any, but if i lived at home i would have to pay 150 a week rent which i did until i left- but my older 3 sibilings (twins are 26 brother is 28) all live at home free, ive never had that awesome experience of being the youngest favourite cause in my experience thats a crock of crap. the favourites are the middle children whom are twins in my case.

If i get lent 5 dollars my mother will call me every 3 hours to get it back. Bad parents or no parents get us into these situations by not teaching and choosing to have kids when they couldn't support them. Its a vicious cycle- My partner gets given everything is an only child and due to what hes been given has bought 2 houses- but i still ******* support us both on my meager wage while he pretends to be poor.

Sorry to hear your struggle. Have you considered counseling so that you can leave his sorry ***? It can be scary leaving a comfortable situation, but when a situation is making you sick, that should be one in which you should run from. My situation was with my hs sweetheart. We were going to live together for ever, married with children. We did get married. We did have children. But it wasn't the fairytale life. After the birth of our first child, he started drinking. A little at first, but by the time our third child came along, it had become a problem. The first five years we were broke(flat broke) n we decided it would be a good idea to have kids(it was peaches n cream at that time) After I graduated college, and was making 800 a week with a 2yr old, I was still broke. Even though he had a job, I would end up having to pick up the slack to every late bill or thing he had to have(when we could have had a nice nest egg). After 5yrs and 2 more children later, I had to take my children and all of our belongings in order to feel safe from the drinker who tried to beat me up. I was never talked to with respect by him. It was always yelling, and eventually hitting walls, throwing books, whatever. I moved in with a friend for a year, until I could get back on my feet. Four years later, my children have not been happier. We all make choices, but choosing the path we are scared of, should be the one we choose always.

I'm there with you! I'm almost 50 now. Spent a lotta my younger years in booze& drugs had alot of family problems when I was young. Quit 7 years ago. Barely scrape by have friends that are blessed at every turn. Always wonder when my turn will come. Just to be comfortable not have 2 scrape by to keep the lights on every month would be wonderful. My whole family has had health problems& dies young. I don't think I'll live much longer as I have the same problems! Wish my last few years could be easier!

It might be a good idea to give your pet up for adoption/ sale if you can't afford to buy food for them. What happens when your pet needs a vet etc - that would be too much of a financial burden. Hope you are doing better now!! hugs.

Yeah, i hear you.. But, its 2013 now and you wrote this 4 years ago.. Did anything change?Did you get a better life for you and your family? Did you have kids? Are you financialy independent? I hope you did all those things, as i am also now as you were then.. Im younger tho. Im 25 now. I hope it will be better for me and my family and friends. Your story is very inspiring, you have such a hard time in life and still able to fight and push trough. All the best, may your better life come true!

I am tired of working hard and staying poor While the government
fat cats line their pockets and never pay a dime for health insurance.
They have never worked a hard day of labor in their life.
I along with at least 60% of us citizians have worked 40+ hours a week
all our lives without any retirement money to speak of and no health
insurance. I am a collage grad. and still lived paycheck to paycheck.
My health benefits got cutoff. I can't afford to pay for health
insurance. I got hurt from long term hard work. It cost me my job.
Workers comp. denied me benefits. So now my wife, son, and I are
living with my mom. I feel that everyone that works in Factorys,
and fast food, or any place that gets paid under 75K a year
should stop working and let the people with the health insurance
and higher pay come due the hard work for awhile.

First of all DITCH and FORGET the gyno exam. Why pay the Doctor's mortgage? Honestly FORGET that. Pay for birth control and that is all. Tell the Doctor you can only afford birth control and nothing else. Don't do a 2nd college degree. One is bad enough. College does not guarantee any better life unless you are studying nursing or something like that. As far as your teeth go: floss them after every time you eat and then brush your teeth. Scrape your tongue at night just before bed using a spoon with a flat end. This stops rot. Swish around cooking oil in your mouth 2 or 3X a week (it is called 'Oil Pulling' look that up on internet). This also stops rot. You can reverse tooth rot by cutting out all sodas (especially diet sodas, very bad for teeth) and cut back on sugar. Buy some 'Tums' and take a few of those a week to build up calcium in the body which your teeth will use to repair themselves. Also eat kale or spinach every single week, same reason. You can do all of this. A few changes and things will be better. Hang in there.

great tips on dental health.....
dont forget baking soda hydrogen peroxide combo....oil pulling w/olive oil is better....gr8 source of calcium is diatomus earth food contains silica which transports calcium where body needs it..../DE is super cheap...take 1 spoon a day on Amazon...amazing,,,,,

What mechanism have you given people to get money to you? Do you take credit cards? Do you have a paypal account? Have a hat deep enough to hold money if you held it out? Give people a reason and a way to pay.

If i was you i would maby thank of moving out of the U.S to a less expensive place like Brazil or india. all of the south asia places are very good $ wise and have really good free helth care.

Less expensive? I think you are saying that because you haven't lived in Brazil. Do you have any idea how much more ridiculously expensive things are over there? It's certainly not a good idea to move out of the US because the best products that sell in Brazil and India come from here, and we have direct access to them.

I live in Brazil and everything here is ridiculously much more expensive! I actually want to move to the US! Really! I just can't afford it (yet, i hope).

It's definetly not a good idea.

The salaries are also much smaller. Unless you work there on an expat package such a move would be ridiculous.

Hugs you tight

Tired of, tired of, tired of....God's word says we will have the poor with us always, not because there is lack thereof it's because of the heart of Men, the greed, the selfishness, the lack of care for people and their problems, so what do we do about it? We must continue living not letting people in this world get us down, hold on to God's unchanging hand and stop worrying about what others have, stop worrying about our lack and concentrate on what we do have and that is our life, health, strength and the mind set to make this world a better place to live.

Yes and in the mean time, who is going to feed us? Where is God in all this.

Prioritise!!! Birth control $425 is really expensive when you should be paying food or your debts! It seems you haven't saved a lot of money because your priorities need to be reorganised

I don't know if you are still following replies as your message is from 2009. But at about 2am here I am looking for some answer some hope and all this through google. How meaning less and meaning full all at the same time. None the less your story was like a narrative of my life. Please tell me if some things are a bit better? I am 32 and in debt with landlord to credit card to school loans to irs. I had one credit card that I charged utility bills on. Never used for any personal items to say. No matter how hard I work somehow the more I make the faster something bad happens like a car accident or someone close needs are more dire and I am left with a negative bal. I just am so frustrated and feel and fear I will never be debt free. There is nothing to cut down as I don't even eat more than once or twice a day. The last time I went to a movie was 3-4yrs ago. And I don't pity that. I just want to break free of being so broke always. My sacrifices or good deeds none pay up. I am so tired of scraping here and there