Tell Me the Secret

Maybe you popular people in this group could tell me the secret to being popular.  I've tried all sorts of things like offering to do the unpopular jobs at work, letting others have first choice when there is a choice etc, but still I am unpopular.  Just what makes you popular?  And what can I do to be popular?

Tibicina Tibicina
41-45, F
3 Responses Feb 13, 2009

Well, I suppose what I really meant to ask was 'What do I do to avoid being UNPOPULAR?'

Tibicina, <br />
In my experience, I've learned that people are "funny". When you want their acceptance they will push you away, but if you just be yourself- do your own thing- while still having manners, you will gain admirers. People often want what they can't have, so instead of feeling like people don't want you, turn it around and play hard-to-get. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you don't have to worry about living up to something that you're not.

Well maybe it's not being popular that's so important to me as being accepted. I just want to be accepted by the people I work with. I don't want to be a doormat but I don't want to be selfish either, in case that's what is making me unpopular. All I want is to get on with everyone and have a couple of good friends at work - why is it so difficult?

No offense, but it sounds like you are being a doormat. Being popular isn't about being what you think everyone else wants you to be, its about being comfortable in who you are. By constantly offering to do things that other people don't want to do, you are placing yourself below them, posturing like they are better than you. When you act like they are better than you, they will follow your lead. I think the secret to being popular is simply thinking you are popular, and have that give you the self confidence to go, talk to people, and be comfortable in your own skin.