Every Month I Think About This...

It's been 9 years since I quit birth control. And I still get a bit sad every month, when my period arrives always on time.
I wonder why nature doesn't allow me to become a mother just like everybody else. I owe my twins to science. It was a terrific experience to become a mother of two. But sometimes I just wish for a miracle to happen. A natural pregnancy. No stress, no doctors, no hospital bills. Just nature, just God. Just us.
anonimacy anonimacy
36-40, F
5 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I pray you get what you wish for.

Try hypnotherapy. It could be a bit lengthy, but it might help you.

It makes me so mad that the "system" that I've praised for years is taking away from us the most simple and honest happiness. Every month I see how new parenthood gets a little far away.

I hope we can now have a new chance.

I love U!

It's ok, love. It's nobody's fault. We were extremely lucky. We had access to medical treatment. We became parents.
I know you wanted another child. I do too. I'd love to surprise you with an unexpected pregnancy! I'd love to carry it well this time, and not scaring the **** out of you every week. That, I wanted a chance for both of us to enjoy expecting a child. But then, sometimes you can have it all. And you have to admit we've been blessed.
So, whatever will be, will be. I know we'll be fine whatever the case. I love you. You are a wonderful father.

I gave a baby up for adoption when I was 17 years old. It was the heartache of my life for the 18 years that followed, and then she found me. God bless the couple whom with great humility and gratitude, loved my baby the way I loved her, and gave her a name, and a home, and a wonderful life with two parents who loved each other. They felt they were indebted to me for giving them what they could not give each other, I feel indebted to them for giving my child what I could not give her. In essence, we needed each other and we are bonded by the love we have for her. But we don't any of us own our children, they have a purpose all their own. The more time passes the more we have all realized that it is to her that each of us are truly indebted. She entered this world and graced through each of our lives like a gift. Perhaps she chose to come the way she did, touching my life only briefly on her way home to the parents who'd waited so long for her, changing all of us forever. What a remarkable blessing the whole experience has been in my life. It has shaped me into the person that I never would have become otherwise and given me a perspective that has enriched my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. So may God bless and smile on every mother who's waiting for their child and every father who waits with her. The way I see it, any woman who aches for a child is already a mother and any man that aches with her is already a father. And as my own father always said; expect a miracle and one will come.

What an amazing story, gretandsopey!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing this !!
I admire your views. You're an example of motherhood. You chose life and by doing so, you changed the lives of so many people.
I have known many adoptive parents, many are very close friends, and they all bless their children's birth mother everyday. It's a bkessing circle indeed. Not only the lives of parents but a whole family is changed, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends ...
I don't think that we, people who suffer infertility ,are better parents. It's more like we really appreciate the gift of our children and try hard to do our best for them.
I wish more stories such as yours would be known in my country. For each child given to adoption here, there are four couples waiting -sometimes for years - to be chosen by the system.
Thanks so much again. I wish you and your daughter all the best.

Awww, I understand more than you know. I used to cry every time I got my period and because for me, the need to be maternal is in my heart and soul. We are truly blessed with wonderful marriages and beautiful kids and that's so special :o)

Yes... we were truly blessed. We got our families in the end and we have a happy marriage :)
I know you can understand my feelings on this, my friend. I don't know why but from time to time this comes back again. Some months, little things make me feel "different "and without even noticing I get hopeful ! And then nothing happens... It's not like it used to be, before I got my kids. Back then I couldn't stop crying! Now I get over it quite fast, but it's still a bit sad.

I sometimes get a resurgence even though logically and practically we have no more space for any more children so I know I cannot have more even if I was fertile. I think it is because you like me are very strongly maternal but you're right, it does feel sad sometimes. I deflect my attention from it by plannning fun things to do with my own children and doing plenty of cooing and ahhing over my friends babies :o)