Do We Really Need These Products? You Mean I Shaved My Legs For This Sh*t?

Someone pointed out to me that I was approaching my 2000th story on EP and that it should be a special one.  It took me two years to get to this moment so I took this to heart and didn’t want to just add another ho hum story.  I decided to write about something to help my girls weed out all the unneeded products out there. 

Please someone tell me that the recession hasn’t brought us to some of the things I have seen on the internet lately.  I am here to tell you that in this time of recession you can live without all of these products and more. 

Liquid Virgin Drops

If your vagina isn’t what it used to be, Liquid Virgin Drops promise to tighten you up good. Kind of like a poor woman's vaginal rejuvenation in a bottle. The bottle says to just add a few drops and within 15 minutes you'll snap back into shape. COME ON! Unless we drink the stuff, there's not enough Liquid Virgin Drops in the world to return us to our virginal days. Go to in order to see these miracles of modern science. 

Patterned Maxi pads

These are only sold in Japan but I really want the camouflage ones.  If these maxi pads are doing their job, the only time you'll be able to delight in their sassy pattern is taking them out of the box. Otherwise, used properly, they'll have a whole different kind of pattern on them -- mostly in a crimson motif when you are finished.  I think the only thing these are guaranteed to do is bleed you of your hard-earned money.  Go to to view these.


Clear Mascara

Possibly the most worthless product ever designed for women. Think about it -- mascara is supposed to make your lashes stand out. Clear is, well, clear.  Who wants to use transparent. So you spend seven bucks wiping invisible chemicals on your lashes and presto, your money disappears too!  These can be found in lots of department stores so you don’t have to go far to waste a buck with these.

 All of the above freaky items are out there and just in time to capture our hard earned recessional bucks but this one by far takes the cake as one of the weirdest pushes of a product ever.  Still in a recession reuse everything.  Have you ever sat around your house and thought to yourself, "I'd like to use feminine hygiene products for arts and crafts projects!"? Neither have I, but, no joke, the DIY website Tampon Crafts is dedicated solely to "art" projects featuring the good old reliable and super-absorbent, tampon. The site has detailed step-by-step directions on how to turn a bunch of (God I really hope that were unused!) tampons into jewelry, floral arrangements and even a pan flute. That's right, a musical instrument fashioned out of tampons.  Oh and to top that, if you really want to make your special man feel extremely special why not make him some great new cuff links out of a tampons and Viagra tablets.

Just some thoughts for you today and I want to ask one question or maybe two?  Have we hit rock bottom?  And if this is not the bottom where do we go from here?


fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
46-50, F
9 Responses Feb 22, 2009

ty ladee.<br />
<br />
Rog, I read a lot.


Damn... I never get that right ... do the socks go in front or back?

I was going to offer you the big boy pants enhancer so you could start using your socks on your feet again lol.

You peeked! (embarrassed and running away)

Don't bag my Asian family..... :P<br />
<br />
Side note: I don't need those drops.

They also have extra small condoms too lol not that you need those lol.

Hey FG what a great site! They are having a big sale on everyday necessities such as;<br />
The Oral Sex Trainer - Trains Your Tongue<br />
List: $54.99Shop In Private:$44.99

LOL I will get you some darling.