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Oct 29th, 2009
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rowing up I always felt guilty about not liking my mother. I felt guilty because she always bragged to her friends how she had this wonderful daughter who gets good grades, never gets in trouble, etc. The reason I didn't like her is because she was terrifying. I was to be tucked away in my room, not seen or heard. I wasn't allowed to touch anything of hers. I wasn't even allowed to use her bathroom. If I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I had to go all the way to the basement (which is where my bathroom was). I wasn't allowed to make a sound. It was an existence of walking on eggshells. When I was old enough (around 12 years old), she would routinely leave me by myself for weekends at a time so that she could be with her boyfriend who lived 2 hours away. This is when I felt severe abandonment and was very afraid to be by myself. I would have terrible nightmares for years about intruders breaking into my house while I'm alone. The bright side is that there were people out there that I came in contact with who showed me what it was like to be a really good mother. I thank God that I had moms by which I could model myself. I know that I'm a good mom - although I sometimes over compensate. I know that I'm precious too, I'm precious to my son. 
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  | Posted Oct 29th, 2009 at 2:40PM I think the best thing that can be said in response to this story is that we don't have to be our parents. We can make positive changes just by being us and wanting to. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being you. +4 nods   |
 Feeling blah | Posted Oct 29th, 2009 at 4:25PM Thank goodness for the moms who knew you were precious and treated you so. And now you have a precious child of your own! Your story is very inspiring, Leeshy. +4 nods |
 | Posted Oct 29th, 2009 at 11:54PM Wow, your Mom sounded like Mommie Dearest. I am so sorry for the pain you had to endure. I am glad that good women came into your life to help you heal. |
 | Posted Oct 30th, 2009 at 7:26AM Thanks everyone! It feels good to be validated! +2 nods |
Feeling blah | Posted Oct 30th, 2009 at 5:31PM Being a good Mommy is an important job. I'm glad you are enjoying the position :) |
| Posted Oct 30th, 2009 at 8:30PM Leeshy, Sending you hugs. Just remember that we can be wonderful moms and wonderful adults despite the parenting we endured. You have many admirers out here that think you are wonderful. God Bless!!! |
 | Posted Oct 30th, 2009 at 9:04PM Good story!!! |
 Feeling ashamed | Posted Nov 1st, 2009 at 3:23PM I used to go out with an older women who had kids. When we broke up I used to babysit them. I tried to be a good influence to them. T?he guys at work thought it was strange to see me put so much effort into their well being, but they were younger than me and had not the experience of having to look after young ones. It was a wonderful relationship, that lasted for years, and years. They at one point even called me dad. being a parent is one of the best things in life that you can be. |
 | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 4:55PM Stories like this always remind me to call my mom. Thank you! |
 | Posted Dec 9th, 2009 at 1:26PM I am also precios. My mother hates me because i look like my dad. Who didnt want her so she takes it ou ton me. That movie is similiar to my and my mother relationship but think God it's not that extreme |
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