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Nov 1st, 2009
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he is the light I'm trying to follow. That person I want to be. That smile I like staring at. She's the tears I shed to. But she left me behind, cause I am not as nearly precious. Precious at all.
She died 3 years and 9 months ago. She didn't try to live for me. She didn't say I love you in her last breath. She stared at me like I was a stranger. Her ex
I do miss her. I miss how she kept the family together. I miss how she said I was stronger.
I wish she wandered this world still, with a lost soul. I wish she haunted me. I wish I left with her.
Why does she keep saving me from death. Why won't she let me be with her. Why is she saving me, when she's dead. Why is she so selfish.
Can something so precious leave this world?
do i have to be just as precious to leave also
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  | Posted Nov 2nd, 2009 at 9:37AM narrowpath... you have my sympathies. death is never easy and your sister sounds as though she was nothing short of amazing, and perhaps still is just in a different way. if we are all just energy, in some ways, perhaps death just converts that energy to something else. Perhaps the "preciousness" that your sister provided to you and your family is still there... somewhere. do you feel here with in ways still today, different sure, but there somehow? my sister was very close to my maternal grandparents and she says to this day, some 32 years after their deaths, that she still "feels" them every now and again and that they are truly precious to her, watching over her in their own way, protecting her all these years later.   |
 Feeling sick | Posted Nov 2nd, 2009 at 6:34PM EPJake, thank you for your sympathies. Helps to know that she's here sometimes. I've felt her every moment when I attempted to do something drastic. |
 Feeling sad | Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 9:00PM aw ayumi i had no idea! your sister sounds like a great girl. |
Feeling sick | Posted Nov 3rd, 2009 at 11:10PM She is beyond great. |
 | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 5:07PM Thank you for this story. My sister means the world to me, I'm going to share your story with her... |
Feeling sick | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 7:14PM Thank you. For taking your time to read my experience. Truly a pleasure. I'm glad you and your sister are close |
 Feeling ecstatic | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 7:23PM i'm sorry =(. my sister hates me but i am truely blessed with her, and i have deep sympathies |
Feeling sick | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 7:26PM So very kind of you. Your sister is lucky to have someone like you. |
 | Posted Nov 5th, 2009 at 7:58PM Ayumi you have my sympathy and you are precious ( man that sound weird but you are )and I'm sorry that happened to you |
Feeling sick | Posted Nov 6th, 2009 at 2:25PM Lol weird is right. Cause honestly, I am not. There are very few precious people in this world, and I am certainly not one of them. Those precious people are the ones who love themselves and make others feel so secure and open to the world, where there is know depression, but kindness and willingness to live a life. That is not me. I am not precious, I only attempt to nearly follow my sisters lost shadow. To be precious is something that is clearly a fantasy to me. Something I can't dream cause I am not even worthy of doing so. |
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