Pregnant And AloneMy boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, when I wasn't there - he simply left a message on Facebook to disappear out of my life, knowing we wouldn't be together for 2 months still, because I had to go to my home country to settle a few things. While I was on the plane not being able to check anything or talk to him, he told me, he is breaking up because he doesn't want to work on a relationship that will be stressful for him. I tried to call him afterwards, tried to text him, tried all the various chatting programs we had planned, he never answered and I am pretty sure he will never talk to me again.
We were a couple for 2 whole years, I moved to America because of him, leaving behind all my friends and my family, just for him, and now I am stuck with it still, because I can't move back until July 2012. I only got to know his friends over there in the past year, his friends and his family - now i can't see any of them anymore, means I am totally on my own, totally lost, but not even having my body for myself anymore as I'm sharing it with a little baby.
I'm scared of future, I pretty much have no future. I'm still studying, I didn't want to get pregnant, it just happened for some reason, even though I was using birth control, and I was always so scared of getting pregnant, that I would look after my birth control closest ever. To make it short, it still happened and it's not changeable anymore. He doesn't know because I didn't dare telling him.. knowing his moods. I don't know if i should go and tell him.. or tell some of his friends so they would say something to him. I don't actually want him to know, but I guess at some point I won't be able to hide it anymore, but knowing now he's not worth trusting .. I'm just lost.
He told me, he would like it better if we wouldn't see each other any more, and if we wouldn't have contact at all anymore. The message is pretty clear - he doesn't want to see me ever again. But I'm still going to have a baby from him .. and somehow he should know, shouldn't he? I just don't know how to tell him anymore. I never knew, I was keeping this a secret for 3 weeks. Wouldn't he take it as a desperate "I want you back, don't leave me"-call, if I told him now?
Moonlightdancer 18-21, F 12 Responses 3 Nov 14, 2011