Single And Pregnant... And Happy!

I am 29 years old with no kids. I met a guy on a dating site 3 months ago and we had one of those whirlwind romances that took off very quickly. I was told a few years ago by my doctor that I couldn't have kids, and in the past I had a 5 year relationship with a man where we didn't use condoms for 2-3 of those years and I never fell pregnant in all that time, so I took it to mean that the doctor was right.

Well I just found out about a week ago that I was pregnant, and we were both shocked. I'm at 6 weeks now. In a panic I told him immediately that I'd get an abortion simply because I've only known him 3 months, I didn't feel confident that he'd stick around, I was certain he wasn't ready either, etc... and he was MAD! I spoke to my family about it and once I saw how excited my parents were to have a new grandbaby coming into this world, I decided I could go on and keep my baby. Thinking that he'd be excited by my decision, I told him I was going to keep the baby after all and he not only told me he disagreed and doesn't want the baby, but he also dumped me! He said he'd wanted to break up with me for a while and was trying to gather up the courage to do so, but just hadn't yet. Also, he proclaimed that it had nothing to do with my pregnancy (none of which I'm buying, but whatever).

Initially I was shocked, confused and and a little bit hurt. But after giving it some thought I began to realize that this is not that bad a situation.

I never pictured myself as a single mom. I always thought I'd grow up and get married and have babies with the man who loved me and we'd all live happily ever after. But the way I see it is I have no control over that. I was told I can't have kids, now I'm pregnant. I feel like this is my little blessing. I can abort my baby and wait for my "husband" to come along... but what if he never comes? Then I've aborted my sure-thing while waiting on a possibility?

My parents are 56 and 65 years old and they are so excited. So are all my aunts and my siblings and most of my friends. Everybody is talking about throwing me a baby shower and asking how I'm doing every day and all of the support I've received from so many different areas makes me feel so loved, and more importantly, makes me feel like my baby is already loved more than I could ever imagine.

Furthermore, the guy said that he's not the type of guy to let a part of him wander the world without him in his life, or have his child grow up hating him, and claims he wants to be in my baby's life. But even if he doesn't, we will be okay.

I think the situation would have been different if I was younger and had not accomplished most of the things I really wanted to do in life thus far. I've traveled extensively, graduated college, dated a celebrity (and received the fun/perks of doing so), begun a great career, lived in different states, lived the party lifestyle for a few years... sure I'd love to have a relationship with the father of my child but it doesn't always work out that way. And even if it DOES, people divorce, people pass away... I could still wind up a single mother anyway.

I'm rambling here, but I've found my peace. Being dumped is no fun, even less so when pregnant. But when you know what you want and have people around you who love and support you, it's okay to let your heart be your guide. I have.

Plus, we were only dating three months. It's hardly like I was in love anyway ;)

ElmersGlue ElmersGlue
9 Responses May 13, 2012

Maybe you can get some friends here
Surely, there are peoples who love pregnant women around the world.

Your post was inspiring. There were so many similarities in our stories. The main difference is that I've know my baby's daddy all my life, we were best friends with benefits since my teen age years. We never dates, never fell in love, but recently we started a fling that was different than any other time we had. For a month we were always together, sleeping together almost every night and everybody knew we were together. But we never worried about categorizing us, we were just doing what we felt like doing, which happened to be being together. Until I found out I was pregnant and after weeks of doubt and uncertainty we ended up not having the courage to do anything but keep it. And since then we've had a couple arguments which we never used to have and I'm feeling him more distant than ever. It's been so hard to deal with this all alone and give him space to figure out his own things while feeling rejected and as if I was any girl he met on a club. I don't know what to think, how to act, or how to stop crying.

You re so positive! Im also pregnant and 29 but my bf and i were together for a year...he broke up with me soon as he found i was pregnant and even changed the locks to his house. Im still in shock by all of this since prior to me becoming pregnant he always talked about us having a baby and even had names ready.I guess like maya angelou says "when someone shows you who they are, believe them". I feel abandoned..and to makes matters worst i had to file a restraining order against him because he continued to harrass me to get an abortion and called me all kinds of names. It was heartbreaking. I felt betrayed and spat at. Now my mom and i have been brainstorming about me going to get an abortion. Ive had 2 done before at 20 then 22 so i Really dread this decision..but unlike you i dont have a career..and both my mom and i barely make enough to get by, nevertheless to take care of a newborn. I just graduated college about a week working as a temp at a fitness company making 14.00 an hour..and they still havent hired us after 5 months...the baby dad continues to harrass me telling me that he will take my baby and raise it with whomever he chooses...everything has been streaming downhill! At this point i just want to be left alone and i just would like some inner peace and am afraid that if i have this baby i will go downhill and bring my baby downhill with me. This man had been verbally abusive with me during the course of the relationship and i just want him out of my life forever.

am in the same situation. my bf hates the idea of me being pregnant bt i am anywe n i have decided to keep it. when i finally got rid of him i felt better and even more excited to be a mother. being a single mum is scary bt wen u accept it, it all gets better

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OMG! Your story sounds similar to mine. I met a guy online as well...started dating and I ended up preggers. Only thing is he told me to have an abortion. Needless to say I didn't. And well now six months later we barely speak. He says he's moving away and will never have contact with me again. I never imagined that I'd be a single mother at 25, but heyyyy thats life I guess. I'm sure everything will work out though. He doesn't deserve to be in my baby's life anyways.

I was dating a guy I work with for 3 months...didn't know he was in a committed relationship of 4 months. He said he is not looking for a commitment just dating. Wrong...anyway, I am now pregnant and alone. The other woman says she is too when he tried to leave her for me, they are now engaged and I still see him at work every day. I am struggling how to tell my employer that I am pregnant and that the father works there...may not be their business but I'd hate them to find out via rumor, ya know...

omg you have no idea how exact ur story is to mine except i was with mine for 3 years. but you just gave me strength and happiness

Well ladies there are solid loving men like me looking for a woman to have a child together. ScrAp the crap guys

id like to talk...if you want