Very Sad And Scared.

Okay. Let me start from the beginning. Me & my boyfriend had been together for 3 years & hadn't been trying, but hadn't not been. He was amazing, & I loved him more than anything, but we both had our issues. We made love the day before he left, kind of ironic that this happens right when he left.

Over the last 6 months, he had been very closed up. Despite the fact we'd lived together for 2 years, he was never home. One morning he went to leave for work, told me he loved me, said he'd be home after & left.
He never came home.
I sat up for days, not sleeping, worrying sick. He wouldn't answer my calls or texts & didn't leave me any evidence he wasn't happy. I went to stay with my mom & found out he was a block away from our apartment getting high & partying with his friends. It broke my heart becaue he'd been sober for a year.

While I was at my moms, he went to the apartment & left me a note. It pretty much said that he loved me & couldn't live without me. I was a wreck, he hadnt contacted me besides that letter at all.
His family came by to get his things, & a few days later I figured out he was in jail.

May 16th I found out I was pregnant. (7 tests later haha. ) and now am pretty numb. I want this baby so much, I feel I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I'm almost 6 weeks.

When I told some of my girlfriends, they were so negative, talking about my ex & how I should abort the child because alone I was not an appropriate mother.
I don't want my ex near my baby because obviously he's not ready to be a daddy, but I'm so afraid to do this alone :/
Is it horribly wrong that I just want my baby? The heartbreak is unbearable, but when I think about the life growing inside me I don't hurt anymore, I just want to make this babies life beautiful.
Mokelox Mokelox
3 Responses May 21, 2012

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well so find a guy that you think would be ready... there a lot of guy out there that would love to be a dad.....( even to babys there not theres) over all it will be hard but you can do this i know you can

Sweetheart you need to get some help. There are clinics all over the place that have counseling services. Your B/F is a loser, just face the fact. He isn't thinking of anyone but himself. Now he is in jail, could help anyway. Gotta look or call hotline, I even saw a phone number somewhere on here to call. Reach out, you are not alone, get some help.

I don want him to be a part of this, thus the fact I haven't told him yet.