39, Single And Pregnant

so complicated. My youngest daughter is going to be 18 in 5 months and I'm pregnant. I don't think the father would even want to know....long story. I feel alone and scared. True story- I took the pregnancy test and wanted to tell my 17 year old today but before I could she started telling me about these weird baby dreams she's been having. She was joking around when she said to me "mom please don't get pregnant, your just too old to have a baby". But that hurt. In addition to that the babys father thinks I'm intimate with other men because last year we both caught each other out with people from our past. He is the only man I've been sleeping with for the 3 years we've been together even though I know that does not hold true for him. That's a whole show in itself. We have serious trust issues and now I'm pregnant. He comes around once in a while but we are not in any type of defined relationship or committment. I have been hurt by this man many times and couldn't bear hearing him doubt or deny our child. I have no one to talk to about this. Im going to the gyn next week.

One last thing thats really important to know...I'm pro-life. Have very strong convictions about that but in 2010 I got pregnant from him when we were just a few months into our relationhip and he basically did not want me to have it. That decision haunts me. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love him and want our baby but I'm really scared to start over with a new baby by myself again.

Signed confused. Help! I don't think I can tell him. I don't know if I even want to.
joann16 joann16
36-40, F
3 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Not all men are like him, i would love to have babies wih someone just not that lucky to find the right woman to have it with... If you ever like to talk message me, you're not alone,you have friends here ;)
Good luck.

My love story was similar when I was 19 and ended pregnant by a married man. I didn't know he was married but found out when I was like 6 weeks pregnant. I was exclusive with him (in my world) so I knew he was the father. Yet when I confronted him with the marriage thing and dropped the "Im pregnant bomb" his response was I don't think its mine - and if it is have an abortion.

My daughter is 7 years old and is the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! And I'm sure you know the feeling since you have a 17 year old. So what I'm try to somewhat advise is... Don't worry about him doubting you... Don't worry about starting over. Your 17 year old only said that comment bc she's 17... Once the baby is born simply do a paternity test. Don't give it any mind. The baby is in place for a good reason. Keep your head up and let the man think what he wants... You just be the best mother you can be :)

@Calileya08 thank you very much for your words of wisdom and encouragement. A few things have happened since this post and bottom line is you are right. I'm no longer worried about or focused on the father. I have decided to do whats right for me and my baby. I also told my 17 year old and she seem more surprised that i had unprotected sex with this man than the fact that I was pregnant (and after all my talks to my daughters about being smart, safe and responsible in that area). But mommy is human too. Lol
She is happy for us and excited about the new edition to our family. She will be going to my doctors appointment with me this week.
Thanks again for taking the time to share with me. I wish you and your daughter all the best.
I will be in touch. :-)

holy craaaaap!