I Am Pregnant and Single
I am 27 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. The day I found out I was pregnant I called my boyfriend, the daddy, and cried to him that he had to come pick me up because we needed to talk. We've been through pregnancy scares before but I knew this was different. A little over a year ago I had a miscarriage at 3 months, it broke my heart and crushed my spirit, it was not the first miscarriage, but it was the farthest along. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, I've had 3 miscarriages but this is our first viable pregnancy.
When he came and picked me up he guessed at what was upsetting me, he knew before I even told him, of course I was over 3 months along at this point. We talked for hours about our options, our wants, and our fears. We agreed to take a few days to really think it over and within 3 days we both decided together to keep this bun in my oven.
I was overjoyed, he said he was ready to be a father, he said he loved me more than anyone he has ever been with and he said he would be with me no matter what.
He lost his job last month. I had to move in with my mother. He has no family in town and cannot live with my mother and I so he currently is homeless.
While we have not officially broken up and I still talk to him daily, I see him only once a week, if that. I cry a lot, I worry a lot. I feel so alone. I have my mother and I thank god for that, but this wasn't how this was supposed to be! I am 24 years old, pregnant, unmarried, and terrified. In a very short time I'll have a newborn baby boy. I am so lost. I feel like I've screwed up so much in my life, in such a short amount of time and now I find myself fearing this baby is just one of my biggest mistakes, and good god it hurts to say that because I've wanted this baby for so long!
I always believed everything happens for a reason and that everything happens when it is supposed to, but I cry and scream "why now?!?!" I Love this baby growing inside me more than life itself and I hate myself for feeling this way, but I don't know what to do anymore. it has gotten so bad I find myself thinking such dark thoughts, I think about giving up and going away, I think of suicide and it's so terrifying!
I don't know if anyone will read this, but at least I've told my story. Thank you for listening.
When he came and picked me up he guessed at what was upsetting me, he knew before I even told him, of course I was over 3 months along at this point. We talked for hours about our options, our wants, and our fears. We agreed to take a few days to really think it over and within 3 days we both decided together to keep this bun in my oven.
I was overjoyed, he said he was ready to be a father, he said he loved me more than anyone he has ever been with and he said he would be with me no matter what.
He lost his job last month. I had to move in with my mother. He has no family in town and cannot live with my mother and I so he currently is homeless.
While we have not officially broken up and I still talk to him daily, I see him only once a week, if that. I cry a lot, I worry a lot. I feel so alone. I have my mother and I thank god for that, but this wasn't how this was supposed to be! I am 24 years old, pregnant, unmarried, and terrified. In a very short time I'll have a newborn baby boy. I am so lost. I feel like I've screwed up so much in my life, in such a short amount of time and now I find myself fearing this baby is just one of my biggest mistakes, and good god it hurts to say that because I've wanted this baby for so long!
I always believed everything happens for a reason and that everything happens when it is supposed to, but I cry and scream "why now?!?!" I Love this baby growing inside me more than life itself and I hate myself for feeling this way, but I don't know what to do anymore. it has gotten so bad I find myself thinking such dark thoughts, I think about giving up and going away, I think of suicide and it's so terrifying!
I don't know if anyone will read this, but at least I've told my story. Thank you for listening.
By:
An EP User
