Baby On Board

I started dating a man that I had known from highschool, we never talked before. We ran in different crowds. Last year he found me on facebook and a dating website. We started dating and things were AMAZING. I knew he had 2 kids from his previous relationship, so I broke my number one rule. Never date a man with kids. He was wonderful with me and his kids. 

My family lives on the other side of the country, so I went there for Christmas. And when I came back, I noticed a change in his actions. I didn't question it at first. After finding another womans panties in his shower, and seeing his car parked outside of his ex's house at 4 was way passed over.

Almost 2 months after breaking-up, I became very sick and had missed my period. I'm pregnant. I called him to tell him and learned that he had gotten back with his ex. But he said that he would be there. I admit he's driven me to a few appointments and helped me move. But since breaking up with his ex again, and finding a new girlfriend, he's been MIA. I told him at the beginning that he was either in or out, that he can't be a part-time father. Just like I can't be a part-time mother. We never had plans to get back together, but my father was very "in and out" of my life and I don't want that for my baby.

Anyway, I'm alone and pregnant. And it looks like I'm going to be doing this by myself. Everyday I look at my sons bedroom and think "how the hell am I supposed to do this?" No woman ever dreams of being a single mother, especially if the title applies before the baby is even born. I'm 7 months along, 8 next week, and due mid-November. I just feel like I've already failed him.

StillFindingMe StillFindingMe
22-25, F
6 Responses Aug 31, 2009

interesting story. I admire ladies that have the courage to leave the man and do things on their own. All my support goes to you for having a strong determination.

That sucks! How have you been holding up since?


honey you didnt fail. there is no way in hell that you failed. your going to have a beautiful baby and your going to find an amazing man that will love you and never think twice about another woman. i give you my wishes

First off, congratulations on your new arrival! There is more to be celebrated than to feel bad about! : )<br />
<br />
Don't let anyone's criticism break you from your choice to raise this child alone. Occasional feelings of failure and depression come and go so finding those with similar and non judgmental advice is great. It's hard but women have been doing it in all kinds of circumstances. Children want a loving home where they are provided for and taken care of not someone's ideal of a nuclear family.<br />
<br />
Married, not married, single, or dating...there are no guarantees in life. But there are choices. You've made the choice you feel is best given the situation so the best thing is to surround yourself in a very supportive environment.<br />
<br />
The ideal of a situation with two has become just you and your baby. You are not single as it is you and your child. A new relationship about to begin. <br />
<br />
There are also other ways to get support and help raising your son. Times when you need a break or fresh air or maybe just someone to talk to. It's out there, you aren't the only one in that situation. Take care of yourself and it's time to focus on you and that little baby! : )

My Mom became a single mother after my Dad left us. She was strong and the best Mom ever. I think you may be being hard on yourself and you should surround yourself with friends. All parents can ever do is love their children unconditionally and give them the best examples possible for life. I know a lot is involved in raising a child and don't mean to trivialize it.<br />
<br />
I think you realize where you are and where you will and need to be. Work to that goal, a loving Mom can make all the difference in the world to a child.<br />
<br />

Josie06 is right. There are people around who love you. You'll be fine, even if it isn't always easy. Josie06 and I are in the same age bracket. We offer you some perspective. Even if the guy had stuck by you and married you, it STILL wouldn't be easy. The whole world has a wonderful way of adjusting to changes in plan. Enjoy your baby!