I'm Pregnant At 15 And My Boyfriend Doesn't Want It

I turned 15 2 months ago and lost my virginity to my boyfriend that I've now been with for 4 months. since then we've had sex a few more times, and a few weeks ago I started the pill. Around the same time I started to get really ill, throwing up all the time and getting really tired. Me and my boyfriend - who turns 16 in July - both thought it was a side-affect from the pill, so I kept getting ill and he kept worrying. after about a week, my best friend told me her theory; that I could be pregnant. I tried doubting it at first but when I realised that it was a reall possibility I started to worry a lot, and last week I broke down in abslute tears in front of my boyfriend and ended up having to tell him what was going on. He wasn't too bad at first, but when it all started to become more real and I took some online pregnancy quiz's that all side I might be pregnant, we both started to completely freak out and now we keep arguing because if it's real (which we will find out this week) then he wants me to have an abortion. I've told him I want to because I don't want to ruin either of our lives, but I really don't think I can go through with it, and he's still trying to persuade me. I don't believe in life at conception, but I do believe that every possible life should have a chance to live, and I can't destroy that chance. If we're right, I'm already 5 weeks in and by time we find out if I am pregnant, go for blood tests etc, then the only way I can have an abortion is surgically and as I've found out it could seriously hurt the baby I've refused to do it. He did ask if adoption was an option, but because I'm fostered and was nearly put up for adoption, there's no way that I could do that. What's more, I live with my nan and her fiance, they're getting married in 2 weeks and he's a police officer! If he finds out I could be pregnant, he could lose his job and my whole family could lose their respect for me, I might not even be able to go to college or move in with my parents.
sorry for the long story but if anyone has any tips, ideas or anything to help me please let me know, I'd really appreciate it!:)
louloufaith louloufaith
13-15, F
6 Responses May 6, 2012

Well if it's not life at conception then it's not a baby. Never the less adoption is great. My mom was 17 and gave me up for adoption. And in living a great life. Think about it. If i was aborted my daughter wouldn't be here How would u feel if you found out your mom almost aborted u. That's not the point. I was 17 and my g/f was 15 when she got pregnant and things turned out fine. I'm now 33. And she is your age. Looking back I'd do it all over agin. It will be hard. But very much worth it in the end

Oh my goodness sweetie... This is why as parents we discourage our teens from having sex... You may be physically ready, but emotionally you are SO naive and absolutely not ready to deal with the consequences! BUT, that being said, you are not the first, last, or even youngest girl to make this mistake, so calm down a little. It's not at all an ideal situation, but the deed is done and pregnancy moves fast as light it seems so you don't have much time to decide what you want to do about it.
Unless you have a ton of support from family, you don't really have the option to keep your baby, & even if you do have that option it would be a terrible and selfish choice. At your age you can't even legally work and babies are expensive... So that leaves you with abortion or adoption. This is a choice YOU, & only you, can make. If you can deal with the emotional consequences of terminating your pregnancy and you feel that is your best option then go for it. But REALLY educate yourself on what you are planning to do because if you learn the details of what you did later in life, you may have a difficult time dealing with it. My sister had one and when she was older and realized how it was performed she had some severe emotional problems for quite a few years.
Adoption is NOT A BAD THING. I know foster homes can suck, bad, I was in a few myself as a kid, but these days you have your pick of ways to do your adoption. You can pick the parents, predetermine how involved/not involved you will remain in the child's life, etc. Many people can't have children, & many of my family and friends are adopted. Sure, there are bad cases, but most of the time my adopted friends are way closer to (& spoiled rotten by!) their parents than most of my biologically raised friends anyway! I know it would be the hardest thing in the world to give up your baby, but you could turn your mistake into a truly beautiful gift. A gift of parents (of your own choosing if you like) that will provide a loving and financially stable home and offer opportunities that you can't at your age for your baby, and a gift to a couple who can't have children to create a family that they so desperately want and deserve.
Again though, I don't know you, & you have to do what is best for #1. The baby and #2. Yourself
And only you can make the right choice for you.
And the police officer thing is confusing me?? How would he lose his job? Please explain...
Of course you can still go to college. I finished HS & went to college with a baby, so if you don't plan on keeping it the idea of not being able to is just silly. You can go to college if you want to, baby or no. Just don't ever get busted with drugs or you'll never get financial aid. As far as your family, you'll just have to see what happens. Unfortunately you made your bed & now you gotta sleep in it.
All you can do is make better choices from now on. Quit having sex with boys you've been with only 4 months. 4 months is a fart in the wind compared to your whole life. That boy doesn't love, respect, or care about what happens to you. All he is worried about is what might happen to him. Do what is best for you, do well in school, go to college, & do something with your life & your life will be great without a guy & then the right guy will come. If you don't, you'll forever be trapped in a cycle of bad or failed relationships and life will be a constant struggle on top of it. Don't ever have sex with a guy to make him love or stay with you, it never ever works.

Sorry your in such a tough situation. Is there anyone in your life that you can trust such as a teacher or counselor? You need support and guidance. If you need to talk, I'm here.

Just be cool and don't try to abort the baby bcos he may become a great person in the near future..so just tell ur nan and see what she says cos she may have a better idea..

you need to talk with the aduklt that has control of you you may need to just find a place to go till the babies born then give it up also

Well, to start, as I'm sure a lot of people would tell you.... you don't want to deal with it? Don't do the deed.<br />
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But... I feel you. I was pregnant at 14, though it was against my will. While I lost all my friends, I had support from my family, and I managed. So... I can't tell you your future, but....<br />
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Life at conception obviously exists, because every birth would be a stillbirth otherwise. But, having no support from family is also a bad thing. So, you're in a bit of a pickle. <br />
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I say.... do what's in your heart. If your family really loves and cares about you, they'll understand regardless. Only the worst of families abandon their children. Certainly, 15 is too young to even think about having sex, but as it's done, you'll have to act accordingly. If your family isn't supportive, try to find a close friend you can go to if you must.<br />
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That's really all the advice I can give you, never experiencing such the risk before. But, you can talk to me if you need to. I'm here and won't judge you :)