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Pregnant At 43

I am 43 years old and 5 1/2 weeks pregnant! I have a wonderful 15 year old son who I had at age 28 and a beautiful 2 year old daughter, that I waited many years for! I thought I was done! Of course I was in complete mental and physical shock when that test came back positive, but that quickly faded and I am ecstatic now! I know there are higher risks at my age, but I can only believe that this is a gift, and given to me for a reason! There would be no purpose for taking it away! I have come to believe that things happen for a reason, and this is... one of those things! I wont deny that I'm scared, who wouldn't be, right? Lets face it, Im not exactly in the best shape! With my son, I only gained 27 pounds, but with my daughter, I gained a whopping 65 pounds! Thankfully the weight came off easy with both, but unfortunately I gained about 30 pounds over the last year! I want to be a healthy mom and have a healthy pregnancy, so I started getting up at 5am every morning and walking for a mile and a half, I am now eating 5-6 small meals a day instead of the 1 or 2 I used to do. I work 56 hours a week, usually 12 hour shifts, with no chance of cutting back on that, and my boss only gave me 3 weeks leave with my daughter (after a c-section) so I am expecting the same with this baby, so being tired isn't an option! (let's just hope I can keep it all up! lol) I am lucky enough to have a wonderful support team, my husband, and both of my parents, who help care for my daughter when I work! thank GOD for them! Couldn't do any of this without them!  Any suggestions? PLEASE feel free, I could use all the help I can get!

sacline sacline 41-45, F 8 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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Hi. I came across your post. I am 43 years old and just miscarried at 10 weeks. I haven't any children. Second PG. First MC at 37 y/o around 6 or 8 weeks. (I can't recall.) No fetal heartbeat this time. Just surfing the web to better understand my loss. Would you mind emailing me the outcome of your pregnancy? Thank you in advance.

I AM 43 AND I HAD A MC ON SUNDAY I WAS 6&1/2 WEEKS WITH MY FIRST,WHEN CAN I TRY AGAIN ? I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 27 YEARS,PLEASE HELP ME.

Dear Sacline,<br />
<br />
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I miscarried earlier this year....Mother's Day weekend to be precise....that was tough....I can relate to the sorrow of such a loss when the days are supposed to be joyful. <br />
I understand that feeling of failure...I kept saying to my husband, 'I'm sorry....I'm sorry....I'm sorry"...and crying constantly. What he said then is what I know to be true now....it wasn't my fault. It's NOT your fault. I know it feels like a failure...try to remember that really and truly....it is not your fault. Blame the hormones...and try to be patient and understanding of YOU...like you would if it was your husband or one of your children experiencing a great loss. <br />
<br />
And even though I knew I would be more fertile after a miscarriage...I did NOT want to get pregnant again...and risk another miscarriage. I remember feeling the same...I cannot go through this again. And you're right....until you heal...how could you possibly face such a risk again.<br />
<br />
It is hard...lean on your husband...let friends and family comfort you...even if some do say the wrong thing...like...."you can try again"....unless they've experienced it...it's just impossible to know the fear of experiencing such pain again. But just knowing they're thinking about you and caring about you can be a huge help.<br />
<br />
We are at the age of high risk of miscarriage. It's not a punishment....it's a medical fact. Aged eggs and an older uterus can and do result in these losses....and sometimes women who are at 'low risk" experience the same thing. We both know it first hand the pain of this loss. You didn't cause it...you can't control it....you have NOT failed. Your body is doing what it MUST do. <br />
<br />
I am very sorry for your loss and pain. I wish I could give you a big hug and help you.<br />
<br />
take care of you!!<br />
Cindy

Hello Sacline, I am new to this site and just read your post. Just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about the pain you are going through right now. I hope with time and the support of your family you get through it. <br />
It is so hard to put on a brave face for the children in so many circumstances and events in life but having such a young daughter who needs you will hopefully help you.<br />
Best wishes to you and your family.

Well everyone, went to the dr yesterday for my 8 1/2 week checkup, found no heartbeat, and no growth since last appt 2 weeks ago... dr sent us to the hospital for another ultrasound, and blood-work. awaiting results of blood-work, but dr doesn't seem hopeful. my heart is heavy and I feel like a failure once again! What now... wait? lets just torment me a little more, Merry F***** Christmas! Sorry but my hope and faith have left me, Life would have been just fine without all of this, but why give us such a gift only to take it away? there's no point? I know I said that I believe that things happen for a reason, and that is how I accepted this baby... so why this? why now? What reason could there possibly be? Now we have to wait for my body to reject this pregnancy, or have it removed. And to top it all off, it's Christmas... now there's a holiday memory! I am trying to smile for my little girl, but I can't! I just keep crying, and she doesn't understand... HELL I DON'T UNDERSTAND! My husband says that we can just try again, Obviously he doesn't understand either... I can't go through this again! It's to painful and leaves me feeling to empty, and like I have failed, myself... my family... and my poor little baby.<br />
As if this pain isn't enough, I await the pain of the miscarriage that undoubtedly lies ahead... but somehow feel that I deserve to feel that pain for failing. <br />
Time to hide the tears, my little girl needs me, God knows I need her!

Congratulations! My last baby was long awaited! Relationship wasn't right in the past, was in an abusive relationship for 9 years with an alcoholic, and new I could never put a child in the middle of that mess! When I finally got free, I found the man I had been looking for, and we both wanted one more child, mine was 13 at the time and his was 17. We were both ready! Our first experience was a miscarriage at 5 weeks! very hard on us but we were determined! Of course all the thoughts came across, (what if it's to late> what if I'm to old?) and of course I couldn't bare the thought of losing another one! My doctor started me on Progesterone suppositories and steroids to sustain the pregnancy, along with the daily regimen of baby aspirin, folic acid, prenatal and fish oil pills!<br />
I to was afraid of all the tests, wasn't sure if they would do an amnio or not, but they didn't (thank GOD!) Low and behold, we have a BEAUTIFUL baby girl who definately rules her kingdom! lol <br />
I know there are risks to mother and baby, the older we get, and I know they have tests to determine the health of the baby,... but I don't think I would want to know! Everything happens for a reason, and I believe right now, that God would not give me such a precious gift only to take it back away from me at this time in my life!<br />
I have always had great pregnancies, I'm one of those women who loves being pregnant! So all i can tell you is ENJOY!

congratulations! I am actually 45 and pregnant. It was one of those things we dared not hope for...this is my second marriage and my new husband has never had a child (I have 4= 21-20-16-11) <br />
What was your last pregnancy like? I'm very nervous about the tests. I am 10 weeks but we're not telling many people until after more testing and the completion of my first trimester.<br />
<br />
Best wishes...and thank you

Thank you for the kind and quick responses and all of your support! No I have never suffered from morning sickness, (THANK GOD!) sorry for any one who has! <br />
Yesterday wore me out! I manage a busy restaurant, and Thanksgiving day is a busy one! It was all I could do to get out of bed and start my walk this morning, and the whole way I kept thinking of shortcuts to get back home! But I did the whole walk, and have to say I feel better for doing so! <br />
My husband comes home today! YEAH!!! went to his dad's house for thanksgiving. His mother passed away a few months ago, and I thought it was best he go to be with his dad seeing as how I had to work anyways! Were gonna do our Thanksgiving over the weekend!<br />
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!