Pregnant

I have dated this 29 year old man for 2 months. I am a 35 year old professional female with no kids. I own a home but live check to check. I can work from home about 3 days per week. I make about 65-70k per year. This man has long hair, low paying job, drinks constantly, and causes me all sorts of drama. I think I am set on keeping the baby due to my age. I don't want to marry him unless he gets sober...even then, I am not sure. He is a country-boy...uneducated but smart. He is insanely jealous.  We have spent 5 nights apart (total) since we started dating.  Now, he is requesting a paternity test.  I want to keep the child and have him out of my life.  Does anyone know what his rights are? If he stops drinking, I don't mind him in my child's life.  I feel as though I have made a HUGE mistake here. I did not think I would get pregnant so quickly. Boy, was I stupid.  I have wanted a baby so badly for so longs.  I even looked into artificial insemination.   He drinks all day, doesnt have a car/license, and does not seem to care of ranything but drinking. At first it was fun to hang out with him and go camping and see shows. Now, I want the party to be over.   I know I am an idiot for letting this person get me pregnant. Dont know how to tell my family.  Terribly humiliated.  Dont think I can have an abortion...
lola6974 lola6974
31-35, F
6 Responses Jul 18, 2010

I think all of you are giving sound advise. You sound like you will do just fine raising the child by yourself. You do not need to take on all the baggage this man comes with even if he would choose to stop drinking. Their are plenty of good men out here that would be better match for you and your child than it sound like he would be. A wise person told me this once. <br />
Any man can be a father but not everyone can be a Daddy. I hope all goes well with what ever decision you make and the outcome does not destroy who you really are.

I think all of you are giving sound advise. You sound like you will do just fine raising the child by yourself. You do not need to take on all the baggage this man comes with even if he would choose to stop drinking. Their are plenty of good men out here that would be better match for you and your child than it sound like he would be. A wise person told me this once. <br />
Any man can be a father but not everyone can be a Daddy. I hope all goes well with what ever decision you make and the outcome does not destroy who you really are.

I think all of you are giving sound advise. You sound like you will do just fine raising the child by yourself. You do not need to take on all the baggage this man comes with even if he would choose to stop drinking. Their are plenty of good men out here that would be better match for you and your child than it sound like he would be. A wise person told me this once. <br />
Any man can be a father but not everyone can be a Daddy. I hope all goes well with what ever decision you make and the outcome does not destroy who you really are.

Keep the baby, get rid of him. I know kids are expensive, but it sounds like you could support the baby without him and he would end up costing you more. If he changes his ways, maybe he deserves the chance to be in the child's life, but I know the type and that's a big if. If he's causing you drama I wouldn't jump into marriage with him for the sake of the baby-- that will only lead to an unstable environment for your child<br />
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I am over 40 and got pregnant by someone with problems and no financial or emotional means, and although I have had a much higher income in the past than I do now, I'm determined to make it work. I'm now expecting a healthy baby boy within the next few weeks and couldn't be more excited. I'm actually glad the baby's father dropped out of the picture early-- if he was still around he would have made my pregnancy far more difficult and wouldn't be a good father. I decided early to make the baby my focus and not the absent dad.

The baby sounds like a blessing ... not so sure about him though. You seem strong and independent ... I'd suggest keeping it that way ... you don't need to take on two dependents at the same time ... one baby is enough!

Since you said you want to keep the baby,, congratulations and it sounds like it can work if you work with him. Good luck.