What Do I Do?

I'm a 24 yo woman.  I am grad student working on my MPH and just got accept into OCS through the National Guard. I had been dating this guy I met online for the past 6 months. When we met he had just gotten out of a 5 yr relationship with his ex and they have 2 kids together. Everything was going great at first, he was my dream guy. We just clicked like best friends. A few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. He promised he would be there for me and we would face it together. We even planned moving in together and eventually getting married. A few days ago he came by my house and basically told me he is still in love with his ex and can be with me anymore. I'm now 9 weeks pregnant and more scared than ever. I haven't told my family because I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what to do. All of my hopes and dreams are on the line and I am all alone. Someone help me :(
Optimistic813 Optimistic813
22-25, F
15 Responses Dec 10, 2012

I guess by now, you will have realise that children are a blessing from God, whichever way you got them and all your hope and dreams can still go on only this time the road will be bumpy.

For starters, make sure u stay on him for financial support. He may not be there for u emotionally, but u can make sure he pays to support the child.

Poor baby, I wish I could help you. Good luck. ;)

i hope your family see, who is guilty for that, not you, its the guy! Don't worry, it is not your fault!

sometimes i think i have a bad life, divorced 3 times, kids that i never see again.
But when i read from you, i feel i am not alone with such things.

I can understand that you feel scared and dont want to tell anyone. If i cold i would help you, but how can i. I only can tell you, dont give up. I tried giving up, but it didnt work.
I wish you good luck, an i am sure you can enjoy life again.

Dear optimistic one! <3
I send U all my bearhugs and kind thoughts! U R doing a great job maintaining a positive attitude towards life!! :-) <3
Your little one can B a huge blessing, as someone mentions, and U seem to agree! :-)
Who knows, maybe this was supposedto happen 4 U, dear....! :-)
People rarely intentionally hurt other people, your guy there probably neither.... Sometimes things just seem unfair or unucky or......
We just have to face the situations the best way we can.... Keep your optimistic spirit and open heart!! It will take U VERY far indeed!!!

U R gonna make it!!!

Hugs from Denmark

M :-) <3

Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words. Sending hugs back from the USA!

:-) <3

Get help and do something about the pregnancy, you could ask him for child support

I'm here for you if you need a shoulder dear heart.

Thank you so much

Sure thing dear heart. I mean it ok?

Ok :)

so you kept the baby?? is there any contact with that guy anymore?? if not, maybe this is better for you and your baby, just take care of him... the baby does not need careless father who dumped him even before he was born.... and be optimistic :)

Yes I kept him. We keep in contact but he really hasn't done much for our son. I've given up hope that he will and I filed for child support. Just a waiting game now.

good choice!!

this was 2012 and from your pics i see you with a baby.. i take it you gave birth :)

Yup in July :)

Awwww yay! Congrats !! wow how amazing

thank you so much :)

your welcome :)

1 More Response

oh man, what a **** MOVE on his part! im soo sorry girl. REGARDLESS of him "being in love with his ex", he should be at EVERY. SINGLE. EFFING. APPOINTMENT. WITH. YOU. men like this make me livid, and not just because im bitter that my ex boyfriend broke up with me with a text for HIS ex girl after promising marriage to me, ha. what you do is what every other single mom has had to do, and that is....weather the storm. put your head down to focus. steel your shoulders against the wind. get through the hell by walking through it, one step at a time. it will take a lot of prayer. it will take a lot of support, and i hope you are gathering that support around you right now. have as many baby showers as you can, haha. but you know, it sounds like you are very accomplished, you are a beautiful, you are smart, and you will get an amazing job that will pay all your bills wonderfully! who needs a ***** donor? put that *** on child support IMMEDIATELY, though. dont believe a word he says ever again. he doesnt love you or he would not have done this. he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, and now you need to make him eat his words.

I love this! Omg idk how I didn't see it before but you are absolutely right.

get an abortion the dickhead aint coming back and you dont got enough money to raise it

ummm my baby is due any day now

I understand as I have a daughter your age who faced a similar situation. You need non-judgemental help, support and guidance right now. Hopefully you can get that from your parents/siblings. While the decision is yours as to what happens, embarrassing as it may be, you need to tell someone who you trust and rely on. I'm sorry that you've been placed in this situation.

D whatever it takes to get this guy to support this child. If I can help, even if only a shoulder to cry on let me know

I am really sorry to hear about that **** bag of a man, You shouldent have to face pregnancy alone, Your ether going to have to tell your parents or get rid of the child. I say you tell your family becouse there going to find out soon anouf. Then take this guy for child support. I was in the Army for 10 years but I picked up a bad disese over seas, and doctors said i dont have long to live thats why i was asking about getting someone pregnant. I would like to get to know you better hun.
- Charles

Thanks for the advice Charles. Sorry if I came off insensitive earlier, that was not my intent at all. I would love to be your friend. I sent you a request :) Feel free to message me anytime and I wish you the best in everything. Just make sure whoever u chose to be the mother of your child is a fit mother. That is very important.