35 Single And Pregnant

I am 35, single and pregnant by my ex. He has tried everything to make me have an abortion. He has made it clear he wants no part of this. I have always wanted children but I wanted to be married to a good man, which my ex is not. I am almost 2 mos and am struggling with the decision to keep or terminate the pregnancy. It's confusing because I am 35 and I realize this could be my last chance to have a child but this is not the way I wanted it. I don't want to be a single mom and I do not want any ties with the father. I am so scared of making the wrong decision. If anyone is going through something similar please share.
houstonchelle houstonchelle
31-35
10 Responses Jan 5, 2013

I am 26 and single and in a VERY similar situation as you. I am about 4 weeks pregnant. I don't want anything to do with my child's father, he is a bad person and I didn't realize it until recently (my friends and family tried to tell me) But on the other hand, I want my baby to have a chance. I am so confused just like you. I don't know what to do....right now I feel like terminating the pregnancy would be the best thing. I already went through a miscarriage 2 years ago and this is a healthy pregnancy..so i'm really confused if I should have it or not.

I understand how difficult this is!! I'm 34 and just found out that I'm about 2 months pregnant after seperating a month ago. I have 2 other kids and am definitely having the baby. But I must say I'm more daunted by my future than ever. My kids and I are staying with family and everything is so temporary, when you have a baby you want to be settled. I can relate to how difficult this decision is. I was single with my first and I am so happy that she's in this world, as well as my youngest! Hang in there. Making these decisions are never easy, but you must follow your heart. Good luck to you!

This your decision to make and nobody elses but I had to give you my two cents for what it's worth. You have other options besides abortion. There are so many people like me that would give anything in the world to be a mommy, and there is help availble to you when you choose adoption. You can still watch your child grow up and change the life of adoptive parents. Sometimes a blessing can come out of a hopeless situation. So PLEASE consider everything before you make that huge decision.

A baby is a gift. I work with women all the time...they are trying HARD to get pregnant and spending a lot of money to try.
Life is not perfect. Life is not black and white.

Honestly, i think you should have the baby. I know people that have had abortions and the mental torment they go through is aweful. Ultimately it is your decision. But I think that your life will be better with this little person in your life. :D Life if rarely "perfect" or the way you expect it. Waiting for the "right guy" or to be married might make it too late. I hope this helps. Love and light, always.

I'm going through the same thing, about 5weeks pregnant and the father wants me to have an abortion. I don't know what to do, I change my mind all the time and cry about the same amount too! I feel bad ending this pregnancy as I don't know if I'll get another chance to have a baby but if this man is going to ignore my child is that good for a baby or me?
I think not having much time to make these decisions makes it hardest. Good luck x

Please go to www.billyjackmcdaniel.com and fill out the contact info. I will contact you ASAP. Our foundation has so many resources and experience when it comes to making some of the hardest decisions you will ever make. We are not designed to walk through this alone. Let us just be someone you can confide in on your terms. We have people that have been where you are.

R2

I too keep changing my mind and crying. The only thing we can do is make the best decision four ourselves which seems selfish but it's not.

Your post touched my heart. I pray you have found the right answer and hope you read my post above. You have so many options and people willing to help you. Abortion isn't the only option. Like I said above, Sometimes the worst possible thing can turn into the biggest blessing life can give.

Do you have any help from your own family and do you have any qualifications that can let you get a good income after the child is born? Are you employed at the moment?

Yes my family is supportive and I just bought a home. It's not a financial issue. I just don't feel ready and I have a lot of guilt bc of that.

I have had an abortion, and I am not traumatized by it. But that's just me. I've also had a few miscarriages, and not traumatized by those, either--again, that's just me. No one can tel you WHAT to do, that is up to you. Only you have the answer.

Dear one, what is exactly the best for your baby is not for me to say. I can tell you having an older sister that had multiple abortions is something that you will have lifelong emotional trauma from. I can tell you that I will pray for you. If adoption is something you are considering I personally know several Christian families that you can interview for that. Be cautious before making such a decision that will effect you for the rest of your life. Go to www.billyjackmcdaniel.com and fill out contact form. We can help you in many aspects of your decision making. You do not have to be alone in this. This is the reason for our ministry. We are qualified in so many different areas and want you to be in complete control of your decision with guidance available when you need it.

you are conflicted, obviously. Sometimes it it the heart that needs to make the decision. Yes, I have been there. Ask yourself "what is right for ME?" not what HE wants, but what YOU want.