Ooi Put The Noose Around My Neck.. But Didnt Jump Off The Chair. Yet

don't. know. what. to do. I tried to hang myself last night...well I hung a noose around my neck.. but didnt jump off the chair. god that's insane I'm never like this. I knew when I was dong it..that I DON'T think like that. .I knew I was being irrational . And there was absolutely nothing I could do but watch my hands make a noose . This is NOT like me at all. I felt like ivwas watching someone else do this.. like I was powerless to stop it all. I'm under a lot of stress. I'm a student with deadlines. I found out I'm pregnant ..despite my attempts to prevent apregnancy... I am. Three days ago I found out I'm carrying twins... to make it worse I drove by my bf house yesterday morning abt 6:30am and ge wasn't home. After repeatedly calling him he answered telling me he was at home. I told him to come out..and he hung up not answering for three hours.. swears he slept in his car...whatever.. he got me pregnant on purpose without consulting me.. I was going to abort but uts TWINS i...I..can't.. what am I goi ng to do? I can't handle the way I feel... I'm afraid...
cara4ever cara4ever
31-35, F
1 Response Nov 30, 2012

Please calm down..relax...I understand you are afraid...This is a very big shock..to anyone. There are alot of things going on and you need to sort through them so you need to know why your acting the way you are..1. You are afraid..you should be..you weren't planning it and you obviously have alot of commitments you want to live up to but...the fact is...kids NEVER come when your ready even when you think your ready.2. Your Irrational..tying a noose or committing suicide will not solve anything..It will unfortunately make things worse.. You will hurt people close to you and possibly traumatize others that your not aware of...Your hormones are out of whack and you need to know that and recognize it and get help or support quick..because worse thing about suicide is its not always fool proof and you can live but it will be a terrible life..maybe brain damaged or paralyzed.. all kinds of things can happen and you can live..so lets just get that out of the thought process because its unacceptable..What happened is done and now you have to come up with a solution rationally so there are no long term consequences.. 3. Guys are jerks lets face it...some more than others but all the same...so don't count on him for anything! Look how he's acting! He gets you pregnant then acts like a jackass...do you really want someone like that to raise kids with? how about even have as a boyfriend? he doesn't seem very reliable.. so unfortunately you have to face the fact..its all you...BUT that might not be such a bad thing..once you calm down.. First see if you want to keep them.. or give them up for adoption..(Adoption is hard but sometimes the right choice). Then see if you can get some support.. talk to your family, talk to your friends, reach out to people and learn to accept help. Your gonna need it either way..After doing that things should go a little smoother...but don't chase after him to help you..he already showed you what he's about and you don't need that drama...I know it hurts but HE'S A DOUCHE! Your stronger than you think you are and you don't need him. I wish you luck and if you ever want to talk..I'm here...Don't give up...I'll keep checking for you...