I Have To Face The Reality Of My Situation

So its offical, I am pregnant. I took 4 test all positive. I dont want to believe it, but I guess I have to face reality.. This on top of everything is really getting to me. I just hope that the withdrawals arent going to harm the baby. I have talked to stacy about it, she said she will help me out the best she can. Tomorrow Ill go to the health unit and get an doctors appointment. I am nervous about it all, but I cant change it. I will make the best of it.. Get help from the goverment till I can get on my feet. I now know that I have to get clean for a bigger reason than just myself. Maybe this baby is a good thing in a way.. I will never be able to tell my baby what was really going on when I did get pregnant.. But it is only right that he or she knows. I will protect it from the truth until I know that they are ready and can understand the truth. This changes a lot of things. Earlier today I was thinking about just giving up again, because this is so hard, but now that I know that I am for sure pregnant I cant go back. I dont want my child to hate me because I am an addict. I want this child to really have a chance in this world, and I will make sure it will. I will do anything in my power to give them that. I know that inside of me I have a life growing and depending on me. It scares me a little bit, but I love the thought of someone really needing me. I know that stacy needs me too, I can tell by the way she treats me that she loves me, and as soon as I am capable of devoting myself to her I will. I love her just as much as she does me. I am happy even thru the withdrawals, because I have someone by my side helping me. I am in pain right now, but I know that this feeling wont last forever. I have to continue on the road to recovery for me, my baby, and for stacy...
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
8 Responses Apr 23, 2012

Wish you and your child well.

This was posted two years ago ... I lost my baby due to the stress of the detox .

I am sorry to hear that. I am reading through your post and see you have had really hard experiences. It shows you are a strong woman. You are much stronger than you think. Experiences are meant to shape us. I don't think I am half as strong as you are. I would not make it through the couple of experiences I read.

Thank you .. and it is was hard and my life still isn't perfect .. I am damaged by the things that has happened but I try to stay strong through it all .. it means a lot to me to hear that .. thanks again

Keep staying strong. You deserve the best in your life. I know it may be a hard road now but later you strength and hard work will pay off. I am always here if you need someone to chat with. Hope for the best for you.

1 More Response

I wish you the best of luck!

Somtimes a new life growing inside can be that key to help you over that hurtle that life is a part of you. I believe things happen for a reason..good bad or different, you can't fix the past its a part of you, but you can make a difference and make sure what happened to you doesn't happen to that baby. I will suggest positive re enforcemet, consider this..Don't be your own worst enemy and degrade yourself..your a mom now..change your attitude and change your life, someone or some people sucked the self esteem out of you to make you believe these things you say...they are a cancer..you need to cut them out your life completely.

Be very careful. I know you are getting alot of warm wishes about oh the baby the baby. It's his. The one you ran from. Please consider all the information before making a decision. You have to now remember. You will be effecting 2 lives. Get yourself straight. Make sure you will have a healthy happy baby. I am proud of you to get out. If you have the baby. You will be tied to him for the rest of your life. Just think long and hard about everything. Your so young just starting to make good decisions. Don't keep on just going with the flow. Choose......not just survive.

Wishing you strength, courage and determination to get through this difficult time. I will pray for you......and your baby.

You're OUT of that house !!! Cool!<br />
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Yeah, get to docs...*crosses fingers and toes*<br />
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May you prevail and be awesome!

i wish you all the luck and will keep you in my prayers...God has given you someone to take care of and to love..do your best! And i know you will get past the withdrawals,it is hard! every addict who has gotten clean had to go thru them, so if they can do it SO CAN YOU!

ur gonna b n AWSM mom n u dont evn realize it yet...trus me!, ur gonna b great!.....by the wy, stll think u got thee COOLST avatr EVR!..lol