I Am Pregnant

I'm pregnant and I am scared...I'm doing better, but I am diabetic and I am a high risk pregnancy. I am afraid of losing my baby, which will be a huge disappointment for my husband and his family.

Everyone wants to make me think about the pregnancy, but all I want is for time to pass by, and for the baby to arrive healthy.

Do I want a boy or do I want a girl. Who cares? as long as its healthy... but If its a boy, I'll be scared to death because whenever I have baby sat boys they have always shocked me , and I find my self gasping with fear as they tumble around, fighting...expressing energy with their energetice flips and summersaults and jumping off of the highest location they can crawl up. I would constantly be wanting to say "no" stop that and get down. I would hate to stifle my child's curiosity. sigh. I barely understand men now, I certainly wont be able to "connect" with one as a child. Knowledge is one thing. Connecting and understanding is another.

I think I will understand a girl much better. I know I will. Just watch, ha, ha. God will want to prove me wrong and give me the most challenging complicated daughters of all time.

I know that once they are teens, they all have a tendency to push mom and dad away, but at least I will have a greater chance at truly understanding what is going on in her head.

All in all...after so many years, I can't believe that I am pregnant.  My life has been so...comfortable up until this point. Its as if God waited for the strangest time in my life to bring a child into our world. Many think its becuause my father is slowly dying, and my child, in the circle of life...will allow me....to move on. But these things are impossible to know, and to predict. I will be terribly sad if my father is not able to hold my baby. ..but I will not risk his life for such a trip. I will certainly not request it.

yeah. I'd rather not think about the pregnancy...it brings up to many concerns. I know they are natural...but I just don't want to think of them. I don't like to worry. I do my best to simply accept what is, and work with what I can...and having a baby...is mostly a very long...waiting game. My husband calls me the picnic basket. I'm the one whose body is designed to carry and protect this little one.

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3 Responses Mar 8, 2009

congrats on being pregnant and i hope everything goes great with you and your baby

What help me lot to deliver my baby.<br />
Is to do lot of walking it helps deliveing them.<br />
i had one shot to relax me .<br />
But I had mine in 8hrs and it help me to walk and for your diabiets to will have it to.<br />
<br />
The more you walk they say help the diebiets. And do what you can do.<br />
<br />
Good luck <br />
<br />

Congratulations hun, I hope everything goes smoothly, you'll be a wonderful mother =]