Lonely Pregnant Woman


I am pretty lonely alot of the time.  I live in a newly renivated house with my fiancee.  He is 4 years younger than I am and still loves to party.  He and I used to party together, but now I can't and I wish he would stop.  My weekends usually consist of him going out on Saturday nights and drinking his face off.  Because of this he is so hung over on Sunday's, he is miserable and doesn't really want to do anything.  I get lonely alot because most of my Saturday nights consist of me home by myself.  I never want to do anything because I am so tired and also I really don't have that many friends out here.  He on the other hand has ALOT!  I guess I wanted to write this email just to vent and also to get some advice of what I can do for myself while my fiancee is out boozing on Saturday nights and then recovering on Sundays. 

preggers preggers
31-35, F
67 Responses Oct 6, 2007

Hi! Is this thread still active?I am experiencing the same thing right now and I am losing grip. I don't know what and how to keep myself sane anymore.I am 22 weeks pregnant. I have had instances wherein I bled because of too much strain and stress, emotionally, mentally and physically. I used to work but I had to stop because I would bleed from work related stress. At first, I have tried to request to work parttime in our company, to lessen the stress, but it didn't help much, and I also found out the company wasn't paying my healthcare so I decided to quit and work homeba<x>sed, unfortunately, I am still waiting for a call from a company that offers homeba<x>sed jobs. My fiance also resigned from his previous job so that he can take care of me and he also wanted to work homeba<x>sed. We don't have savings, honestly. He is lucky enough to get a homeba<x>sed job earlier than me. But he is not earning much. Well, he has just started, so yeah. Now we are broke and we had to ask for some help. He called his sister and asked to loan him some money, which she did. I also called my brother and asked for a loan, and he gave me some money too. Both loans from our siblings are just enough to cover our expenses until my fiance's next payday. The loans were given just last night.However, after getting the loan from his sister, I went to sleep because he is just busy conducting classes online(that is his homeba<x>sed job). When I woke up he wasn't around! I waited for 2 hours. Until I fell asleep again, and he came home morning, like 5:30AM. I asked what time he left and where he went. He said he left at 12midnight, and went to the bar that we always go to. I was furious!!!I ended up screaming at him, crying, and telling him that I want to go home.My hometown is two hours and 30 minutes drive from here. I haven't gone home since I found out I was pregnant, and my OB advised against travelling too much. My parents know I'm pregnant but they really wanted us to get married before the baby comes out. Anyhow, that is how our culture is in the Philippines, old folks value marriage too much. But anyway, back to my problem.---Yes, I am just too stressed out right now. And confused. He knows that we have having financial difficulties right now, but he would always go out and drink. And when we visit his family (it's a 15-minute drive from our apartment), he would also drink with his father and they would smoke even when I am there just beside them! He starts drinking from Friday evening, again on Saturday evening, and Sunday afternoon until evening! It's like he never gets sick of alcohol. And by Monday, he is grumpy and couldn't focus with his homeba<x>sed online tutorial because it starts at 9AM, and he has a hangover!I kept telling him that is insane and he should cut back on drinking too much alcohol, which could not only save him from a bad hangover, but also save money! But he did it again last night! And I am now out of my wits, I want to go back to my hometown, be with my parents who can really take care of me. But he still begs me to stay and not leave him. I don't know what to do! T_TIf you could just help me. Please... I'd really appreciate it.

I am 22 years old and 38 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend was always by my side in the beginning. Always hugging me and telling me how much I mean to him. Lately, he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. We live at my parents house and they are not home on the weekends. Therefore, it is just me and him. He will sit in another room entirely and not even aknowledge my existence. I cry almost every day and every night because I feel so alone and depressed. I don't really have any friends and the ones I so have are always busy. I want to spend time with him but instead he insists I hang out with my sister. If I stay home to be with him, he says he will sit in the other room all day. I feel so alone and anytime I try to tell him I want to spend time with him, his response is at least I'm not home alone. He may be here physically but I feel emotionally abandoned. Is this selfish of me? Really just need someone to talk to.

Hie i'm 25weeks preggo and my husband is not excited at all, he can not do anything to help me out, sometimes I get sick but really he doesn't care, he can't even ask me how I will be feeling. I'm so hurt. My tummy is so big that I can't wash my feet but I'm just alone in this whole mess. He don't have time for me, when he comes from work he goes straight to the bedroom without even greeting me, I don't what to do about this, I have been married for four years and we have been trying for a child, now that our prayer has been answered. Things are turning sour for me, I really need support guys cause I'm really hurt. He has never touched my bumb since I got pregnant. he really doesn't care if I ask him to help me do house cores he refuses, he does drink nor smoke I don't know what's really is in his mind. We just stay the two of us my family is very far, I'm new in town where I'm staying, no friends around I'm so lonely to the extend that I'm seeing devorce as a solution.

thats so sad hun,sorry to hear your in such a negative state of surroundings which of course affects the unborn child as well wen you should only be surrounded by positive loving supportive vibrations and with xtra tlc if theres any way i can help to make it better let me know ok!

Hi to all lonely abused,and un loved soon to be mothers...that are looking for a single loving affectionate man with a big heart, that can be there and be supportive in all possible ways, or just through the pregnancy , im all here, plus i live alone,have an apt....but all bymyself..reach out dont be shy now...much love to all..EDWARD

TOO PREGNANT FEMALES OUTHERE IN DISTRESS,im a single guy with a big heart and very fond of pregnant females,im 47 yrs young still looking 28-30, im divorced 9 yrs my 3 kids are all growned and im living a single independent life at the moment im seriously intrested in having a pregnant girlfriend/wife/good friend and or one thats needs to simply get away from a bad baby boyfriend/father situation, THATS IN REAL NEED OF TLC,affection and love and attention ,even if its till the pregnancy is over,CAN I POSSIBLY BE YOUR HERO AND HAVE your HEART? lets get to know each other and see what happens,life is all about taking chances! my cell is(347) 316-3072 jay, if not too much to ask must be 25yrs of age or less only.

get your own friend go into website where there lonely mother lookiing for friends.dont be hugging your husband time of drinking and going out with his friend. Google kooking for lonely mother to be want a

I am 9 months pregnant. It is my 3rd child, and my 2nd with my boyfriend of 8 years. He won't marry me, he won't stay sober, and gets mad at me for wanting those things. I am 2 weeks from my due date, and I can't depend on him to stay sober...I mean what happens if I go into labor, who will drive? But when I confronted him about it he basically told me "there's the door". He just apologized to me yesterday for doing the same thing the day before. I am an emotional wreck, and on an emotional roller coaster from hormones and his on and off again love. I hate that he's doing this to me. I am so jealous of people with happy relationships and boyfriends/husbands that treat them with love and respect. He won't get help. He won't try anything different, then says that our relationship is not going to work but he doesn't seem to understand the reason it's not working is because he is an alcoholic. He can be such a nice guy and a good dad (when he's sober) but he treats me like I'm a inconvenience, a nag, and controlling. I have no money, no job, and about to have my third child. I just wish he cared about my feelings, and less about alcohol.

I can understand where you're coming from completely. I had that same problem. Unfortunately we cant make them change specially an alcoholic. The sad part is that until they reach rock bottom and lose everything is when they realize what they've lost and what really matters(family). Make yourself independent. Find a job. And leave with your babies. You really have to be happy within yourself to be able to fine the strenght. If an alcoholic doesn't respects himself or his body, what makes us think they can respect us. Be strong!

Hi I'm a first time mommy also I'm sorry to hear about all the abusive stories and things like that I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant which is 6 months and me and my boy friend spend alot of time together but he want to go to this party and i really don't want him to go but i said yes anyways but today i kinda got my feelings hurt by him he called me clingy but I'm pregnant and them my hormones don't get me wrong yes i love to be around him but i don't want to be clingy do you ladies Any Advice for me

talking abusive that abusive he telling you are being clingy.anyway as a man he need step up stop his childish talk and face up you pregnant he need all time serve you hand and knees .he **** the bed he need clean it up.he need put priority straight.he see you you and baby are number one.he need put childish play away you cant go out he neither and no way he cant drink.he need show muturity and responsibilities.try get him agree your term what you want from him. just bit compromise what best for both and baby ok.try enjoy pregnancy with your man.his dedicated type make he keep being sweet and attentive. do not let go out with his friends no more his responsibilities is you and baby and work and helping you all house work.friend thing left single life need friend get a couple that are father and mother to be.you need whole new crew friend going same thing as you. and need family get together even more then ever. keep them more in your life.

Me too.. I moved overseas to be with my husband and I hate it here.. I live a lie. Our relationship is good since he stopped drinking so much.. he'd turn into a short fused psycho.. anyway I'm 5 months preg.. gave up everything to b with him since he couldnt come to my country. I miss my family, I can't speak the language here.. he works all day and does try to help me and get me out of the house, all I have is my dog.. I'm so happy I could bring her here but I'm miserable.. I'm not staying past my visa experation date (november 2014) and we are working on his visa.. if he can't come too idk what ill do..

You're not alone. My guy and I met at at party where the baby was conceived so with no prior commitment he doesn't want anything to do with me or the baby I'm having. He doesn't care. All I wanted to do was to care and he doesn't. He avoids me but still thinks we should be "cool" I've never felt so trapped used and confused in my life. And to top it all off he's white and I'm black and I happen to be 19. It's hard to find clarity in all of this

That's really sad i hope everything works out for you

Hey gal I think we on the same page, except mine is cheating a lot and beats me.......im just so sad and I cry all the time. I am 8 months pregnant but I feel I don't want this baby anymore

girl you have a job a education a degree any of those.we as woman dont need a man to raise a family as long you have your own mom and dad you can do it on your own. dont think doing anything stupid is not baby fault ok.you beautifully and sexy as a pregnant woman who strong manage without a man.he not a good daddy for your ba by God send you someone better put in prayer your life and your baby life

Honestly ur baby will be your everything your strenght. I'm so sad to hear what you're going thru. Embrace your bundle of joy and move on. Get rid of that looser. I'm sure u don't need him. You'll be happier without him. You should really put him in jail for that! Best wishes and hope all is well. Take care

well congrats and take good care of your baby :)

How far are you in the pregnancy?

I'm jessica by name,Am from the United State of America am here to testify in the good name of this great man called Dr Adams for the great thing and happiness he brought back to my life after my lover left me for 2years..steve never loved me all he wanted from me was just sex and nothing more,He was just taking advantage of me and when he got tired of me he broke up with me i really loved steve more than my self because at first he made me feel love and how important i was in his life not knowing all he just wanted from me was just sex,When steve broke up with me i was just in a deep pain i cried for months and got tired of this life But i got encourage from friends and giving me hope that everything would be okay i stopped going to work just wanted to be alone i cried out my life but nothing happened,i tried all my possible best to get back steve but it never worked out fine,Then after then i just decided to go visit a friend at her place I met my friend listen to the radio because she was also having similar problem with me then i asked her why is she so focused on the radio she said she is waiting for a program called (How i got my ex back)Then i told her to tell me more about the program which she did and i also had interest in the program shortly as we were discussing the program came up,Then jeniffer and i focused on the program There was 3 ladies who they said they should give testimonies on how they got back there lover the first lady said she got her lover through the help of this great man call Dr Adams,When we had that name we where so happy and the other 2 ladies said same thing it was so interesting instantly before the program came to an end i and jennifer contacted Dr Adams and shared our problem with him he just told us that we need to be calm that it's one after the other that one lady just contacted him for help that he has to finish with the lady first before he attends to me because it was me jennifer that called him first So Dr Adams told me not to worry that he assures me that my lover would be back to my arms within 24hours,I was so happy to hear that really my lover steve came back to my arms and showed me love and made me had access to everything he owns in this life am so grateful and same with jennifer she is back with her lover with the help of Dr Adams,Please Dr Adams is a man to trust and believe on you can contact him on dradamsjohnsoncentre12@gmail .com or cell number +2348176363653

Hi Jessica, I don't think this Dr Adams is legit. I contacted him, he kept asking me for money after I sent him all that I had (£840) he sent me another email asking for more saying he wasn't able to work on my solution because he didn't have enough money. What a disappointment

Yup I'm 18 weeks and right now it's a Friday night sitting on the couch by myself. No actually with his family. Hasn't called me but apparently he decided to call his dad to let him know he was at the pub. He is 26 by the way and lives with his parents... Apparently he is saving money but ive saved five times more while he spends money drinking beers! Cause he works hard... while i travel 2 hours each day and work 9 hours five days a week. Now He turned his phone off. . I don't mind him having drinks but he has been getting so drunk each weekend for the last month and he doesn't even bother to call me at all! I know when he stumbles home he ll have some excuse and say sorry . Hes sweet when hes sober but once over five beers hit his stomach he just doesnt care. I can get mad but what's the point he ll just do it again. I'm pregnantand now I feel like he feels I can't go anywhere so he doesn't have to try as hard. I would never just not call and turn my phone off I don't know what to do at least I'm not the only one.

Let him know how you feel! I remember when I was pregnant all i wanted was my man by my side all the time but with him working 2 jobs and going to school it was impossible, you just have to talk about it, set certain dates for him to go out because the rest of his free time should be spent with you!

I was alone when I was pregnant and was a single mom for years. I found so much support in small groups from my church when I was younger. I don't know if a church in your area would have this to offer-but it would give you support and a social circle that doesn't revolve around alcohol. Good luck to all of you!

My boyfriend dont stay out all night drinking he just goes and works for a little while for his buddy and the money he gets for doing that he goes and buys his beer and never ask me if i need anything or not and i am 8 months pregnant with his baby it hurts that his beer is more important to him than me or his baby boy maybe he will clean his act up when jr gets here but i doubt it anyway please let me know if anyone eles is going through this to ty

I feel very lonely, too. I moved to Texas with my boyfriend because of work. I left my family and friends behind. Here I don't know that many people. I'm six weeks pregnant and just found out a few days ago. My boyfriend has always been very independent. He doesn't include me in his life and we were arguing a lot about it. I was getting to the point where I wanted to leave him, because I was tired of trying to get closer to him. When I told him I was pregnant I thought things would change. I always thought that when it happened I would get spoiled by my partner. I thought i would have someone who cared if I hurt, or hug me and kiss me all the time. Someone who cared if I ate or if I'm cold. But nothing, he ignores me every time I mention the baby, or talk about anything else. His excuse is that he is busy with work. I don't understand why he brought me here if he wasn't gonna have time for me. I don't think he wants the baby. On the other hand I am very happy because I wanted to start my family a long time ago. But it's not how I wanted to spend my pregnancy. It's only been a couple days since we found out, but if things stay the same I rather go back home where I know I have a lot of people to care for me. But I am scared to do this alone.

First off, after reading all of these heart touching stories I'd like to say that I'm so releived other mommy to bes are going through a similar experience as mine, reaching out and expressing yourself to others that share similar situations makes a tremendous difference on ones overall emotional well being and seems to bring some sort of enlightenment to the dark tunnelOkay so nowits my turn to share my experience with this, my first, pregnancy. Last October after going through a parents death, my grandma dieing, my mom disowning me I decided to do something spontaneous with my life and moved from Kansas City to Chicago. I came to Chicago to leave my past behind and to start anew, little did I know the holdback this city had in store for me.....After being here for nearly a month I met a divorced guy nearly twice my age that sparked my curiosity and before I knew it we became "engaged" and fell in love. I ended up moving in with him. As things progressed I soon met his daughter whom he had from his previous marriage, which was really hard to deal with since she was only four but seemed to resent me and ask questions that made me feel extremely ackward.This bachelor like man, my fiance (I will call him 'Fred' from now on) has the raging hormones of an 18 yr old boy who jacks off every night to cheesy 80's ****. Has the party spirit of a newly initiated fratboy. He is the guy that rides his motorcycle that he doesn't even own all over the city of Chicago. He is the man with a sonorous laugh that can he identified and heard over a mile away. He is the man that wears a zebra print polyester shirt to his Friday morning meetings. Fred is the man that takes everything serious with a grain of salt. And I'm Pregnant. I'm pregnant with no friebds, no other place to live, no job, in a cold windy city. I'm so lonely and find myself constantly wondering if Fred will ever take me and the baby seriously. If Fred really loves me and if I am the only woman in his life. I constantly hope he will stop drinking a 1/2 bottle of whiskey every night and start planning for the baby and future because he is the only person I have.....And Believe me, knowing that scares the living $hit outta me.

First of all Ladys Wish yall the best n hope your SItuation gets Better... Lady i moved in with my bf at 18 n actually planned to have a child (both r first) now im 19 yrs old n 36 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy has been ruff the first 4 1/2 mnth i spend every meal in the bathroom bc i couldnt hold anything in. PLUS my bf worked 7 days a wk about 16 hrs a day. We bearly saw each other n wen he had a night n morning off the first thing he would tell me he was going out i didnt mind but i would get sad tht he wouldnt stay home. Exaclly at 5 1/2 mnths my baby pintched a nerve n i lost my legs i wasnt n still arent able to walk they actually have to carry me to go to the RR my bf still works the 16hrs a day so im with my mom shes the one tht is looking out for me but its like im alone weve never been close so its hard i had lots of friends till i got pregnant i feel so lonley i try to b strong for my baby thr i love very much but with me not beeing able to walk, no friends, my babys Father always at work ugh thhank god hce stoped going out n trys to spend more time with me but i still miss him alot , n have to be laying or sitting 24/7 :(( Ladys forget about your man n enjoy your pregnancy specially if its you first THIS MAY SOUND BAD BUT I WOULD GIVE UP ANYTHING EVEN HAVE YALLS PROBLEMS THAN HAVE TO BE IN BED NOT BEEING ABLE TO MOVE.

hy there im jay im a good loving man whom is into pregnant females i think there so lovely and deserve lots of tlc,i have my own apt and would like to share it with you,lets chat ,lets see what happens my cell is 347 316 3072 please first send me a text and a pic sothat i know ,and who knows what can happen and yes iam drug free and only drink some wine on a social level addiction free and a good head on my shoulders.

just adding to these that if theres any pregnant female outhere thats looking for a caring loving guy to give her all the attention she needs to dont hesitate to reach out to me even if its to just get away for a short period of time and its not long term thing of course long term if we happen to fall in love only god knows ,also ill cover traveling expenses if i have to but please no games be for real!

These men infuriate me. My husband and I started a family later in life ( age 40) so we didn't have this particular challenge but I've seen many friends go through the same thing. I believe expectant fathers go through a sort of "bachelor phase" one more time... They have this fear they will never have FUN again, so they tend to over do it.
I hope sincerely for you moms to be that your partners outgrow it, and embrace a new chapter. Maybe try finding a hobby you can share on the weekends that doesnt include, or at least isn't completely tied to drinking. A dinner party? ( especailly if you have any friends with kids or other expectant couples in your lives) movies, outdoor concerts, etc.

Going through the same thing. I am 35 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend just got a job 2 weeks ago. I let him use my car to get back and forth to work and he has been taking total advantage of it. He dropped me off at my parents early this morning Bc we don't have a phone and came back to tell me he was going to his friends and would be back by midnight. He also told me if I didn't let him take the car he was taking all the money and not paying the electric bill. I would bet my life that he doesn't bother to come back at all tonight and I wont see him until he gets off tomorrow night. I am so fed up with this and embarrassed by his behavior in front of people. I have been thinking about leaving for a while andthe only reason I haven't is Bc I didn't want a custody battle but at this point I really don't think he is going to want to step up once the baby's born anyway.

If he is like that now he will not change I know for a fact Iam 23 and have a newborn and a 2year old and I try so hard to give my husband yes I even married him and if you stay you\'ll end up really unhappy wait for him he\'ll leave you at home like me rite now all by your self if you ask him to do thing for the baby he\'ll be all **** off and may not say it but you know it or he won\'nt do it at all an then thier the I work so I don\'nt have to do any thing I\'m to tired. But he can stay at w/ his firends it doesn\'t matter the custody battle if you leave him before the child Born let him have them on hos day off and he can come and see them whenever he wants this may Change him it did my bd but he back to eefing up it gets better a little not really he just goes to work come home compline go to his cousin home and come home pass out and does it all agine the next day while I\'m
at home wit the babys wit no help crying and I have not just the baby a 2year old all cuz I thougth he change and we still fight and he sleep in the live room cuz my 2year old doesn\'t wants to sleep in her bed and cuz I have to breastfed in the nite I chose to not give her a bottle at all w/ my first I sleep In the liveingroom cuz she cry and he had to Go to work I hate for him to be upset and annoyed so I find myself doing more then I should did I mentioned cleaning up behind him no you do not want tobe in That kind, of sisuation he told you he wouldn\'t pay the bill you\'ll have it worse then me he never said that\'s really bad you may come home and he left you and the baby sweetie don\'t do this to yourself I\'m okay upset by him but I have a feeling it well work out he gotten better he doesn\'t stay at all nite nor cheat on me anymore he also take care of me and give me **** but he here for me

From experience with my first childs father, leave while you can, honey. I know it's hard and you may not want that torn up family but like others have said...if he's doing this now he'll only continue to do it post pregnancy. I really sympathize with what you're going through. I was there three years ago. Just know you're not alone and you can get through this! You're a STRONG mommy! :)

hello i am new at this but i can relate also i am 19 weeks my boyfriend or exboyfriend and i dont live together was never very susportive and now i am pregnant things got worst we do not get along or so he said i always wrong and he always right he already have two kids with this ex wife and then is all he care about i have hear from him about three weeks now every i am not perfect but it seems like every times i tell him he is not treating fair he stop talk to me if i dont call or showup at this house i wont he from him so this time i am trying not to contact him but is not easy waiting by the phone i was hoping things workout cause he is older than me but is not

Hi all, I know these are old posts but that's how i am feeling at 25 weeks, I had to give up work almost 2 months ago as work got too stressful. Home life has been so stressful with agruments with my brother to the point he was yelling at me in this case my partner and I have asked him to move out. I have been having horrible stomach pains due to stress, I just get so lonely, my friends never come to visit me they say they will but they don't. My boyfriend start work at 6:30 am and get home at 5:30pm in which he really just wants to relax have dinner, watch tv or go out to the pub. I don't always mind this but I've tried to explain to him that there needs to be a balance with spending time With me and his friends I just don't think he understands and always sys he hates when I say no or he needs more freedom but I very rarely say no, so always leave me confused.I have been thinking that I have depression, but I really think I'm bored and lonely. It's hard to o from working full time, independent, using my brain and accomplishing things. To none of the above. I really just want to be happy and enjoy being pregnant so if any one has any tips I would ever be so grateful as I really as struggling and cant seem to bring myself up from being so low that I just want to runaway.

It's hard when they are still wanting to party and live it up. It may be frustrating when they work all the time my frustration comes from him not wanting to work at all. I have income so it appears as if that now he's just with me because he now has another place to live (besides his parents) he's younger than me almost a decade. I'm really happy about being a first time mommy but, he resents my requests to work. I unfortunately had to stick to my guns and send him back to his parents. Knowing in the back of my mind now I will really be in this alone until he decides he wants to become responsible. Which could take a life time I'm told and from what I have seen from my own father some never do. If you are lonely and your man is working I would suggest reaching out to your local wic office or Pregnancy resource center or even the health department where other mom's to be are wanting to talk and find friends too. Its so easy to get stuck in wishing they were there for you but, sadly many men don't understand and are dealing with their own fears of becoming a parent. Especially, first timers. Find you a support network let yourself be vulnerable call your obgyn and ask her for resources of other mother's to be groups. I can tell you from experience that having people in my life other than ones that don't understand or have too many needs of their own that I cannot help with right now does wonders for my heart and self esteem. Please, reach out and look up Ted talk on youtube there's a vulnerability talk on there that's amazing. But, please, if you are feeling sad and discouraged I encourage you to reach out to someone even at a local church or non profit agency who can mother you a bit and love on you a bit and do something really special for yourself. If no one is there to nurture you nurture yourself. Pamper yourself. Let them fend for themselves for a bit... Know you are not alone and you don't have to be. Best wishes to you.

I feel the same way. Im 32 and my fiance is 4 years younger than me. We live in Turkey - he is Turkish, I am foreign. Since I got pregnant no one I know sees me. I cannot go out like I used to because generally all my handful of friends go out drinking. My fiance goes out and its always the same thing. I think he is coming home, then he calls late to say he met up with someone and will not come home. It is winter, there is no one to call or talk to, I live far away from the centre. Im bored stiff to the point that I seriously wish I was not pregnant and cannot wait for this baby to be out of me. I work full time, go to gym, try reading but cant read for some reason these days, knitted a blanket, painted, watched every DVD i have about 5 times. Boredom continues.. I have had enough.. Im thinking of you.

Thanks for writing this post. I am in a similar situation: nearly 35 weeks pregnant, 23 yrs old & boyfriend won't stop partying. We live in separate cities since I've finished working (on maternity leave) and since coming to visit 4 days ago, he has been out every single night. Tonight was the final straw when he was invited to another party! (He's a student). I told him how he doesn't understand what it's like for a woman to sacrifice her body for the good of the unborn baby which mostly involves staying in. I am active and have had a smooth pregnancy thank God, but every time i leave the house HE tells me off for 'over doing it'. He doesn't spend 'quality' time with me. At the moment after the argument, he's still here watching the tv in his pants, ignoring me. If i ever suggested to go out anywhere with him now, he would say 'there's no money/i don't feel like it' etc etc. On top, i can't help but think he's cheating on me casually. Not with 'one' girl, but random girls. This is a rant i didn't expect to share on a random website, but I feel better already. Only a few weeks to go until I have freedom with my baby (possibly from him)- oh sorry our parents are all but forcing us to get married because of the baby (old fashioned). That's for another post really...

I am 26 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend works seven days a week twelve to fourteen hour shifts. He barley goes out and when he does I don't trip because as much as he works I feel he deserves it (compromising) and being understanding. My problem with him is he doesn't help around the house. Doesn't cook, clean, wash clothes, clean the tub, etc. NOTHING! Financially he provides ad I'm at home along by myself. I have a eleven year old son so it's almost like I'm starting over again. We dont cuddle, barely have sex, and he's always tired and falling asleep where ever he's at. Most the time he sleeps in the living room because he snores. I think I'm handling the situation good because my first bd put me threw hell. So I'm not that stressed. It's just sometimes I vent to him about how I feel and he usually will get off the phone with me because I'm nagging. I love him but sometimes I hate to be around him. He comes to some doctor appointments with me (this is his first). I guess I'm just scared I will have to do this along once the baby is here because he works so much and is always sleepy. I hope not!

i am 32 weeks pregnant and have issues moving around so he has been picking up my slack. I live with him and he supports me.. I moved in with him and live hours away from anyone I know. I do not have a job and so being home while he is at work sucks as is but then depending on the time of years he is always busy.. Right now it is hunting, He spends all his weekends hunting and when I try to get a second of his time he makes me feel bad by saying I am trying to take away everything that is important to him. and trying to control him. when I just want some time alone.. he says I have all week after he works. but He is always doing little things and never really giving me his full attention then going to bed early.. Then he uses the excuse its just hunting is important to him and then I have all the weekends year round. But that isnt true. Because he then has soft ball and hockey and and then he always watches football. and I end up with hardly any time with him at all. He is pretty respectable when it comes to drinking, he was never much of a drinker. But always seems to care about His fun and what he does or doesnt get to do.. I dont have any friends around here so have no one to hang out with. My family isnt close and I dont have many good friends, so I dont really have anything to do without him. He says I can do whatever I want whenever I want because I have all this free time.. But I cant. unless I want to do something alone.. an after awhile doing things alone sucks... I just want him to care about how I feel and want to hang out with me over hunting or softball... But I dont even compare these days... Before I was pregnant he would give up anything to hang out with me. but now that I am stuck here, I feel he takes advantage of me and I am just here when he has nothing to do... I cant leave him to show him how it feels because I have no where to go. and he knows that. I try to tell him how I feel and he just continues to say I have taken everything from him and I give nothing.. But I left everything I knew just to be with him.. and now Im just sad.. Everytime I try to tell him how I feel he sometimes turns it around like I am the bad one and being selfish for feeling what I do. I used to love being with him, but I hate even seeing him because the only time I do is when he has nothing else to do, so it makes me resent the sight of him.. I try to ask him how he would feel If I left him with the baby and didnt consider how he felt. but he just says he would love having alone time and love hanging out with the baby.. There is no winning and no getting across to him how I feel.. I feel helpless and completely alone. I want to leave and move in with my mother at least until I have the baby so someone will be there for me. But then I will look like a bad person... Maybe I am just over emotional from being pregnant... But being alone everyday for months makes a person go a little crazy, and then having the one person who is supposed to care be mad when you want to spend time with then, It just makes a person feel worthless and unwanted. I know he would never do this before I was pregnant, because he would know I would just find something else to do. But its like he never thinks about how I feel now. I just dont get it. and I dont know what to do. Im tired of being taken for granted.

I completely understand how you feel! Some times I feel so lonely I want to scream and shout just to get my OH to understand how I feel. I feel desperate, trapped and isolated and the only one friend I have (my OH) doesn't understand how I can't be happy sitting at home all day long. No friends at all and no family near me means I'm stuck doing kids stuff all day long. Just wish he could tear himself away from his tv after his long day at work for long enough to talk to me for just half an hour or so. I feel for you I really do and i hope you feel happy again soon xx

You could find someone to fulfill your needs while he's out drinking!!!

It's an unfortunate circumstance but it's nice to know I am not alone in feeling this way. My fiance works often and when he gets off work he comes home and plays on Xbox. Then he will pass out or if he plays all night I am usually nodding off before he goes to bed. He doesn't really cuddle, wakes up and goes back to work. We probably only spend like 4-5 hours together and when I say together I just mean in the same vicinity. He says he's happy for the baby and is excited and is just picking up some extra hours for the baby. I have been unable to get hired anywhere due to being pregnant (I know it's illegal but there's not much I can do - they always make up excuses.)<br />
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He likes to go out every now and again and volunteers me to be the DD for him and his buddies. YAY! Not....I don't decline though because the last thing I want is drunk driving. But I hate sitting around the bar watching them get trashed. And then he has the audacity to say that I am a drag when I go out because I don't socialize or bring out any friends to keep me company. More than half my "friends" are too busy to hangout with a pregnant girl and all they wanna do is party. And I'm sorry but someone who is sober doesn't really enjoy talking to someone who is completely trashed at the bar!<br />
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I see how some guys are with their pregnant significant others and dream I would get a small portion of that wonderful treatment. My sister was sent to the day spa, always had her back or feet rubbed (I haven't had a back or foot rub YET! And I am 19 weeks! And yes, I do ache sometimes!) He would wake up and go to the store at 3am if she was craving pickles and ice cream! I can't even wake mine up to share some blanket....I am such a sweet girl too! I cook, clean and am pretty laid back so I'm not a nag and I am so easy to get along with. I am just told he is ungrateful and unappreciative. <br />
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It's so tough, I hope that things will get better or I will meet a nice guy..someday...

I feel the same way lonely tired feel useless at 8 month pregnant

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and bored out of my mind. I've had a pretty drastic change in my life... I didn't know I was pregnant until I was about 18 weeks along. I ran into this like a brick wall - I had to make a quick decision to either get an abortion or have the baby. After a nightmarish two weeks of fighting like hell with the father of the baby, I decided that I couldn't live with myself if I had an abortion this far along. I already knew the sex of the baby and saw his little body moving around inside of me during my first, shocking sonogram. Since I've made that decision to keep the baby, the father of the child has distanced himself more than ever... I feel like he's making a point to make my life a living hell since I decided to go through with everything. We had dated on and off for two and half years and I have never seen him act so cold and distant like he has the past 10 weeks. He's seeing someone else and the pain has crippled my heart. I'm learning to be strong and get passed that, but it's so overwhelmingly painful. He goes out every chance he gets and I'll go for days without hearing from him. I've never felt so lonely and confused in my entire life. Some days I'm fine and excited about this baby coming, but other days I feel so depressed and tired. I just wish he would man up and stop being such a coward. But he won't - he's an immature idiot that will probably regret his behavior someday when he's 90 and just maturing right before he rolls over and dies. It's a lost cause trying to change a situation or change another person... you only end up hurting yourself in the end. I'm hoping to find something to do to keep my mind off of all this chaos. I can't wait for my little man to get here... he will be 100 times the man his father is!!!!

oh ladies, i feel you pain... my boyfriend and i fell pregnant while living overseas so i am back home to have this baby, and he is only holiday in his home country. I get so upset and frustrated that he is out all the time and loving life, while i feel like ive given up everything for this baby. i know he'll be a great father, but it's hard to think he's inconsiderate now, so what will he be like later?! he is 30 and i am 23... but i feel like he acts so much younger. how are we meant to cheer up?! x

Hi ladies,<br />
weird how I came across this post. Anyhow, in 2007 I became pregnant with my first baby... Found out I was pregnant in June moved out in August. My bf 14 years older than me wudnt stop going out... So I moved out. But it became more painful when he started a relationship with another woman. I don't think that hurt will ever go away. Anyhow... After my daughter was born I moved back in. He ended that relationship so we tried to work things out but he still went out and I stayed home with her. I became bitter and angry towards him and found comfort in male friends. I started to have feelings for one and he for me. We started to see eachother and in Aug 2011 he helped me move out. Then drama happened and I moved back in with my daughters dad. Realizing I love him and only started to see other guy bcuz I was lonely. In Nov 2011 I became pregnant with my second child... I am now 8 months pregnant and he has finally stopped going out!

Well I'm glad to hear others are dealing with the same thing (even though of all times in our lives, this is the WORST to be treated unfairly). I live with my boyfriend and we are expecting a little girl in October and he's excited and doesn't go out that much but I still feel so alone. I work 40 plus hours a week and it's a struggle every day to keep my energy up to do things like shop for nursery furniture, decorate, prepare for baby, etc and all I ask from my bf is that he take part yet ALL he ever wants to do when he gets home from work is sit on the sofa with a beer and watch tv. Then come Friday it's pretty much guaranteed he's going out with his buddies and every Friday he SWEARS hell be home by midnight...but he's yet to keep that promise. I'm tired of always making the effort to get him involved in the preparation for our child and am so damn exhausted as it is I feel like I shouldn't have to be trying SO HARD to get him to care. It often makes me feel like he just doesn't care and when I tell him that he acts as though I'm a monster for saying such a thing. I feel like I'm sacrificing so much to carry our child and stay healthy and make sure we have a cute home for her to grow up in and he hasn't sacrificed one thing, bought one thing, or gone out of his way in any way whatsoever and it breaks my heart. I mean really, what could I do? He owns this house and I love him and want to make it work and let's be honest, I couldn't leave him now. Where would I go? I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over again and getting these empty promises. It's like the boy who cried wolf and I hate that I can't depend on him to follow through on even small promises. I'm afraid he's never going to change and I'm going to end up even more lonely and raising our daughter alone....even if we are still together.

OMG so many women are going thru the same thing I am.. I cry so much and beg him to spend time with me and it doesn't get me anywhere. But soon as the weekend hit he parties like it no tomorrow.. I am 23 weeks and I PRAY for a healthy baby and for this to all be OVER.. You wouldn't believe he wanted this baby SO BAD this is his first. And haven't been to one appt.. We use to get along so good. I feel so alone in this pregnancy and trapped.. He supports me financially but I NEED MORE.. I pray for a break thru... Good luck ladies and I wish us ALL THE BEST...

Hi everyone well this is more then of a rant then anything I love my boyfriend loads but he drives me nuts I asked him what he thought of a water birth cuz I like idea ov it and he just told me point blank NO I can't have that and I tried to talk to him about it and he didt listen then all ov a sudden he specks to another mum to b and then comes ov and say aww yh baby water birth is ok with him now " jill" told me all about it and that got me mad cuz I tired lots ov times to tell him the details but a few words from a women he don't know and he all fine with water birth now his constly doing it if his worried hell talk to someone eles about it and not even metion it to me. And because now I feel I can't talk to him about things and he don't tell me things we don't talk that much anymore with makes siting alone together awkward so he goes down stairs to the pub ( we live and work in one ) and apart from work I dnt go down stairs cuz it boreds the life out ov me why wud I socalise in somewere I work and live so I just spend my days now cleaning the flat or sitting in the bedroom watching the same old crap and googling things I dnt know about babys and wen

Hi everyone well this is more then of a rant then anything I love my boyfriend loads but he drives me nuts I asked him what he thought of a water birth cuz I like idea ov it and he just told me point blank NO I can't have that and I tried to talk to him about it and he didt listen then all ov a sudden he specks to another mum to b and then comes ov and say aww yh baby water birth is ok with him now " jill" told me all about it and that got me mad cuz I tired lots ov times to tell him the details but a few words from a women he don't know and he all fine with water birth now his constly doing it if his worried hell talk to someone eles about it and not even metion it to me. And because now I feel I can't talk to him about things and he don't tell me things we don't talk that much anymore with makes siting alone together awkward so he goes down stairs to the pub ( we live and work in one ) and apart from work I dnt go down stairs cuz it boreds the life out ov me why wud I socalise in somewere I work and live so I just spend my days now cleaning the flat or sitting in the bedroom watching the same old crap and googling things I dnt know about babys and wen

I feel exactly the same way. Only my babys father is in jail and has been since March 1. We don't know when he's gonna get out or if he'll be getting out.but even before he went he was partying a lot. He's 2 years younger than me and we've been together off and on for almost 6 years now. Everybody thinks I'm pretty calm about the situation, but I'm not when im alone. I cry and I cry. I beg God that he'll give my bd this last chance. Cause hes been in and out of jail a couple times before this but was always able to get out within 24 hours. I feel completely numb when I talk to him. I have a lot of family to talk to but I'm the kind that I don't like to talk cause I'll cry and i dont like for my family to see me cry. I've had problems with severe depression growing up and I would think it would be bad now but this time I just feel more numb than anything. :,/ our car was taken away when he was arrested. I don't have a job. I'm so scared that I won't be able to provide for my baby the way i want to. I hope God turns things around for me.

I can relate to most, I already had a son and didn't party when I met my bf and he did but he used to blow off his friends for me until I got pregnant now he goes fishing every single day after work til after 9 or 10 and by then I'm exhausted and he seems to get annoyed with me!

Hi everyone? Well im 7 weeks pregnant n i 'am having the same issues with my bf he drinks n partys n gets home until 3 in the morning or simply dosent! As soon as i found out tht i was pregnant i stop partying n ofcourse drinking.... I told him to stop going out every weekend n to spend some time with me cause i work n he works all day. We dont see eachother but to go to sleep. I told him tht he need to spebd time with me while we still can cause once the baby comes we will not have time for eachother! Man dont understand a thing! I told him tht if i wanted tht i would of dated a 16 year old not a 25 year old.... i hope he change soon cause i'am a woman tht dont give up until thing are done my way so he better b ready for me to b a ***** to him if he dosent change! Wish me luck ladys n good luck to u all ...

Hi everyone

Im in a similar situation to you girls. I moved towns to his (about 30 miles away), left my friends who i miss terribly and now realise i need more than ever!!! Although my partner isnt a partier, he does like the weed. We used to smoke together have a few drinks with friends, now i cant do that. I feel jealous in a lot of ways because i miss doing that with him. We are talking about moving nearer my home town and he says weve neglected our other friends, says its time to get back in with them.....thats great, but how am i supposed to re-intergrate now? i cant sit in a smokey room, i cant drink with them, i dont want to just sit there 'the boring pregnant one', but then again i dont want to sit at home alone, bored and lonely. In other ways he's brilliant and im lucky, but i cant get over this jealous feeling i have of his life staying the same and mine changing so drastically. I dont know what to do. Any ideas girls?

If you start with a partier, and you both enjoy drinking, going to clubs, smoking and hanging either friends all weekend, don't be mad at the guy for still doing it after you get pregnant. yes he should be there but this is the type of person you wanted so don't be shocked when he continues to do what you were dating him for to begin with. and he will probably find another girl to party with since that's his personality trait and one of the things you "loved" about him. if you want to have kids, try getting married first and both of you be out of the party scene for a couple of years, have good jobs and ready for a family.if not, you have more of what we are reading about here.

i have read some stories and i felt that i already made friends :).. well i am 8 weeks pregnant with my first baby and i am always sick that your always hanging in the loo my face is drowned and i have no energy for nothing, besides that my husband is working an goes out and i see that he has msgs from his female friend of work he has asked her if he was special in bed?!!! what the f**** i was more upsett than ever i feel anxiouse and depressed all the time i feel this unplanned pregnancy is making my life a hell.. i have no family nothing at all i have been struggling from young age and living alone and had an ex boyfriend who used to beat me up, well now i got married with another fiance` and now poop i am pregnant! i feel sad because he tells me he doesnt want to stay with me anymore because i am too much moody! and lazy :( he makes more sad and angry and i curse the day that i have met him!!!!!!! i am nearly 20 years and don`t own a house nothing no job nothing at all, we live with his friends so comftable i didnt need anything else in my life!!!! believe me i wish i personally never was born!! how cruel is this life! think too much in the day coz i have nothing to do :/ and it makes me more stressed. this is my first time posting in internet, i wish you all god blessings and all the best soon

Wow, as messed up as it sounds I'm happy I'm not alone in this!!! I'm 11 weeks pregnant and boyfriend loves to leave me at the house and go out with the boys ... The only thing I ask of him is to come back at a descent hour!! Three o'clock in the morning is not bad right?! Well he didn't like the fact that I set a time for him to come home, so what he did was come home drunk and high around 7:30 am ! And what I did was lock him outside of the room and I didn't talk to him for the day! I'm always up early, so I waited for him to fall asleep on the couch in the office ( which he shared with his friend that was staying with us that week) and went to walk the dog and decided to clean the house with very loud music lol ! It's been a m

Im sorry, and shocked that im not the only one. Men can be so inconsiderate to us and they arent even doing all the work! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and Im 36 weeks pregnant. He isnt a bad person, but he leaves me alone a lot. He goes out after work and stays out until 4.5.6. or even later. I tell him how it makes me feel and how i worry, but he doesnt care. He Doesnt answer my phone calls or text me back and when he shows up he reeeks of cigarettes and weed. He didnt smoke cigarettes before I was pregnant. He got it from his scummy friends. We are 21, but what hurts more is that i read other comments about guys who are 30,40, even 50 and still behave so unfairly. Not to toot my own horn, but i am a catch. He will never make me feel like i deserve to be treated this way.I dont deserve to cry the way i often do over someone who knows how to fix things. Im not asking him to stay with me 24/7 bc that would annoy anyone. But anything can happen in the middle of the night, and we have a family to worry about. I seem to be the only one who understands that nothing will ever be the same. Before this he wanted to get married, now he is saying that he isnt ready. It really hurts. It hurts so much that it makes me want to hurt him. It makes me want to kick him out, and leave him, and be with someone who appreciates me. We talk about having more kids, but i honestly dont want to be pregnant again if this is how lonely it is. I love my unborn child, but honestly i wish i wasnt pregnany at all. Not so i could save my relationship, but bc im not ready to do it alone and i dont feel like i have a choice. He isnt going to change when he sees the baby, i can barely get him out of bed before 3pm. How is he supposed to help me with a newborn. He isnt all bad, but this pregnancy has really shown me that i didnt know him as well as i thought i did.

aww all these stories its sad i know wat u all going tru cause i am going tru it myself i am 7 months pregnant and living on my own i got a few frens but everyone got their own business to take care of and my boyfriend has no intrest in me or the baby only see him in once in a while its very frustrating i got no one to turn to feeling so alone and isolated i am just so fed up cant wait to have my baby i know i will be a single mum and doing everyting on my own but i havent got a choice so i have to get on with it ,it hurts so bad but i have to be strong for my child with the help of god i will get tru this

I totally understand how you feel. I'm 23, just graduated college last year, and now I'm 7 months pregnant. My fiance works a lot and on top of that he often goes out. But the thing is that I let him because I don't think it's fair for me to say no just because I can't go. I honestly don't mind him going out but I do feel pretty lonely a lot of the time. I just moved here so I don't really know anybody and none of my friends really understand what I'm going through so it's hard to connect with anyone.<br />
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It's tough but I'm hoping things get better.

I'm so relieved to have found this site and to read things from women that are in the same boat as me. I'm 22 and 30 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is the same age as I am so I get why he still wants to go out to the bars and hang out with his friends, but I feel like he's leaving me in the dust. A month ago we moved from upstate NY to his hometown in Westchester with his parents since I'm not working and we can't afford to live on our own right now. As much as I love his family and enjoy spending time with them, they're not who I want to spend all day every day with. I've told him before that I want to have at least one day a week where I get to spend time with him and not have him run off with one of his friends or invite them over to drink around the fire. He has yet to get it though and thinks that just because he spends a couple of hours with me during the day that he can still go out for hours upon hours with his buddies. I hate feeling like I'm nagging him, but he's completely ignored my requests. Every time I ask him to spend time with me he says that he spends every day with me and that should be enough. It's not enough though when I feel like every time he and I do hang out it's basically him waiting to hear from a friend and me waiting to hear that he's going out. It's stressful. Not only that, but when he does go out, he always promises to be home at a certain time and he never is. I feel like I'm being left behind now that he has his friends around and I'm just sitting at home with his parents. I do nothing but clean up after him while he's at work all day and take care of his laundry only to have him come home, complain about his crappy job, then go out for the rest of the afternoon until dinner is ready. And even then once he eats dinner he's back out the door until midnight or later. I feel so alone and I don't have anyone to talk to especially with none of my own family and friends around. I don't want him to keep doing this kind of stuff when the baby finally comes, but I really feel like it won't change... I don't know what to do and I just get more and more upset about it and he just keeps saying sorry and then leaving again.<br />
I guess I just needed to get all of that off my chest. I could go one for days about how sorry I feel for myself, but I think that rant will do for now.

I am so sad to hear some of your stories. I was feeling lonely tonight because I got off work early only to come home and find that my partner is off hanging out with two of his friends that I don't like! Major DB's! When he hangs out with them, I wonder if he's really like them and I'm just blind....but now I am thinking those are just the hormones thinking for me. I am 19 weeks pregnant with our first and we're both crazy happy. Honestly, hearing your stories reminds me that I just need to keep myself busy this evening (I don't have any friends around here I can just call randomly to hang out, and pretty much everyone else I know is out drinking/getting high...I stay home a lot during the day while he's at work, so I'm pretty tired of having the house all to myself.) But SERIOUSLY! It's awful what some of your guys are putting you through. If they're not giving you what you need, then you need to stop worrying about them so much and think about yourself and YOUR BABY. Find things to do with your time to make yourself feel good. Take up a hobby--cooking, baking, gardening, making your own maternity clothes, take online classes, go for walks, do your hair, nails, get a dog or a cat, make a website or a blog, make your house extra pretty. If the prob is just that he seems to be ignoring you, maybe you need to be a little more interesting! (harsh, I know, but true---you can be cool with more than just your pre-preggers body) If he's out for days at a time doing drugs, maybe you need to get away from him! Look for a church program, a shelter, talk to your doctor, get away from him. He's not going to be a positive influence on you OR on your baby, and he doesn't deserve to be a father until he GROWS UP. I understand feeling very alone--my family's pretty lame and my friends are busy and far away. You have to be able to rely on yourself--not on a man--because soon that little baby's going to be relying on YOU.

iam SO lonely. my boyfriend wanted a baby so we tried and i fell pregnant very quickly. we live 10 minutes from each other and were planning on getting a house toghether, at first we stayed over each others every night. but all this stopped when he didnt have time for me anymore, he goes out evry night of the week, literally. iam alone everynight, i have NO FRIENDS because he was so controlling but i thought he had changed , he has he just does not care at all about me or our baby. i hacked into his facebook and seen he had mesaged girls. i had a bleed at 29wks and had to go alone to hospital. he was hungover in bed. he has give me no money for baby. i cry constantly out of frustration and lonilness and fear aswell, i just want him to cuddle me so i stop feeling so lonely. he rarely calls or texts. walk around with tears in my eyes. dont know wot to do because iam scared of ending up alone with my baby, he will come out on top iam sure he alwalys does. IAM 33 WEEKS Now, HAVING A REALLY HARD pregnancy, he really doesnt care, worst thing is is swore he would never ever hurt me, we were best friends and now hes like a stranger please some HELP and give me some advice. ive never felt so low

Wow, I just found this site during one of my many lonely nights and I really thought I was one of the very few lonely and pregnant women,however I see that im not alone in this matter at all.im not much of a typer but its getting worse by the days. This is our first child but even more by the time my husband gets in he eats, gets ready for bed and the followind day then off to sleep he goes, only to b gone again 8am amd the cycle starts all over. Hes away from me more than hes with me, its so depressing, when we do arrange for a day to spend time with each other he sleeps more than I do and before its ober its a new day, hes well rested and hes off again, smh, im kus soo tired of this its sad.

Oh My Gosh... it is sooo hard getting used to this lonely weekend stuff.. My fiance is almost 30 and he is still into partying.. every weekend is nothing but quality time with the 4 walls around me.. it gets so depressing.. He claims that he can't just disappear from his friends and that him being out with them is a sense of respect.. I wish guys could be pregnant and in our shoes, just for a month to see the hardships we have to go through.. every city should start having weekend events for pregnant women.. they wonder where we get these strange ideas and accusations from.. well it is kind of what happens when you lock us in the house with nothing to do... then our minds begin to wander...

It's kind of pathetic that it feels so good to hear so many others in a similar situation. My "partner" is going out dancing and taking x more and more frequently - I am now 8 months pregnant. He is furious that it hurts my feelings and there's a fight every time. And like some of you are also experiencing, he gets high and stays out until 5, goes back to work then is wrecked for days. It winds up being me giving him a massge and trying to put on a happy face about it - though I often fail, then it winds up in a fight because I'm too demanding, not supportive enough. <br />
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He actually had the nerve to say to me the other day that this is a time for me to be going inward and really why is it necessary so seek so much stimulation outside? So, I asked, why is it you need to go out and party all night? I just cried most of the night, he turned up at 5 and had the nerve to ask me - after being out all day and night with our only car - what I did yesterday. I did nothing, of course. I'm 8 months pregnant and you had the car - and I hardly know anyone around here, I sure don't have any other pregnant and alone friends to hang out with on a Friday night. <br />
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Any bored pregnant sisters out there in the SF Bay area? Wanna go dancing in the next few weeks - we could dance for like 2 hours, have a big glass of water and waddle home around midnight... I'm actually serious... I love to be around the music and shake my booty but need a buddy who is on my same alcohol-free-short-night trip...<br />
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you could email me at birdgirrl at aol dot com.

ButterflyMoon, you sound just like me. I cried for hours the other night when he was out with friends. He wasn't responding to my texts or my phone calls, and when he did finally call I could hear women laughing in the background. I was beyond livid, and told him to come home immediately, to which he finally showed up an hour later. I'm 10 weeks along. I have made several personal baby-related sacrifices, and yet...nothing from him. It is SUCH a relief to read your post. You are NOT alone!

I am 7 weeks pregnant, and am dealing with the same issues. My boyfriend and I used to party together as well. We live in a small town where he was born (I don't know anyone), and he is pretty good about hanging out at home with me but he always says he is bored. I am always nauseous and tired, so he goes out and smokes weed and drinks sometimes. I feel so alone. I wish there were other pregnant women who lived close so we could get together and vent..... I feel for all of you! I am here if anyone wants to vent<br />

Wow!!! When u think that u are alone>>> I met dad in July got pregnant in July he was there unitl August and now nothing.. i still talk and even see him, but I am so lonely..He isn't a party person and really likes to be alone (hermit) HE always found time before pregnancy even shortly after now nothing<br />
He claims busy at work but what about weekends, I get money, text messages every morning, but no date no quality time...<br />
. I am used to coming and going doing whatever i want to do when i want too. Am I wrong to want his championship..? this is my 1st child his 5th ( dang) I have been with others for years and never got pregnant.. met him and bam...All i can say is why him and why me??? Thanks for listening



I realy feel you, I am in the same boat it seems. I am feeling so hurt and lnely while my bf is in the other room watching tv. I try to tell him that I need him to pay some attention to me and he says i'm nagging and exaggerating, that he does py atention but really everytime he is home after he has been working, he just wants to sit there quietly. I am not working and i have carpel tunnel which is very painful, my hands hurt all day but I still try to make the best of it. I used to complain that my bf only gave me attention when e wanted sex and now he doesn't even do that, we don't have much sex lately. I feel very distant. when i bring it up, he tells me that I should come on to him, but everyday he comes home he says he is so tired, plus what I realy want is affection from him. I don't know what to do. I want to run away, I think of friends or familu whom I may be able to stay with but not sure that is the solution. I used to enjoy going for walks but now my growing area hurts when i walk and i have to pee every 5 min. so a long walk is out of the question. I guess I am just venting, don't have anyone to talk to and none of my friends have babies so they can't relate. My bf is very sociable and talkative with friends when he is drinking or people come over but when is me and him he doesn't seem to interested in talking. Any advice? I am afraid i am hurting my baby feeling so bad all the time. i feel trapped. My bf just doesn't understand, he thinks I blame him for everything but I tell him all I want is some attention from him, to feel loved not inored. i am carrying his child and he doesn't really seem very interested in getting involved or learning much about what's going on. I hate my life right now and I dont know what to do anymore.

'm sorry you are alone too. I am 4 months pregnant and the father ditched me for his womanizing. He has to be with other woman who he says are much more attractive than me. I am a wreck right now and cannot stop crying, even right this minute I cant seem to stop. I feel so alone. I don't know if I can handle this. To top it off, I have no family that is here for me, and two friends. I don't know what to do, I feel so hopeless. <br />
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I really hope the father of your child turns around. I wish you the best. All I can think of is for you to have a sit down with him. Sorry I couldnt be much help.

Hi There Frosty,
I know its a little late to comment, and I have no idea if you will even get this... whether you will check yur messages, or what? ... But, I just wanted you to know that I am feeling your tears right now.. How are you doing today? About 4 months to the DAY, (plus a day) from the time you made this post, I was in a very abusive relationship.. Not pregnant... However I am pregnant today. And I am still in the same relationship. I have stuck it out for 4 years... My baby is due September 21st 2012, and this was a planned pregnancy. We actually tried very long and hard to conceive... This is baby number 3 for us. Babies 1 &amp; 2 are in heaven... I had 2 miscarriages prior to this baby. I am now 28 weeks. I just wonder how you made out. My boyfriend never did the whole go out with friends, and stuff like that... Not while we were together... Rather he hid a lot of things from me.... We can talk more if you'd like. I am wondering how you are doing today, nearly 2 years after Baby. Did you have a boy or a girl? Are you okay? Did you stay, or did you leave? are things better? I could feel your tears because I too was crying,tonight... And I can relate to the friendshi9p quote. I recently joined a womns social group, ... and this was before this evenings events... Message me back if you would like to talk at all, Take care.

it's helpful to hear that other women are dealing with the same issues. I am also lonely and cannot indulge in some of the same activities as my fiance. I also feel quite isolated from everyone in general as I find I have less and less in common with most of my friends.

Type your comment here...

I remember those days when i was pregnant with my 1st daughter my fiance did the same dumb thing made me so mad . But good news for everyone at least with mine after the baby was born life went back to normal he loves his daughter and we where able to hang out together like we used to . now what they are doing is wrong but as long as it stops after there here then its not so bad . And im feeling the same with draws from him now that im pregnant again with are 2nd daughter . But im hoping things come back to normal after .. hOPE THAT HELPED A LITTLE

hi preggers... i am in a similar situation. my fiance is 5 years younger than me, i am pregnant as well, and he still parties while i stay home. in fact, he just left with a bunch of his friends with beer and weed about 10 minutes ago. we also used to party together, but now i stay home while he goes out. i know how you feel. i have talked to him about it, and he tells me that he wants to have fun while he still can, and to trust him. so i guess i have no choice and have to just trust him while he is gone. unfortunately i jave no advice for you! but it's good to know that i'm not going through this alone and there are other women who are feeling the same as me. good luck and i hope everything works out for you!

Do you need someone to talk to?

I can relate to most of you. I am 30 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I don't live together but we have been together for 7 and a half years... We travel a lot between the two places or we used to but now that I am getting more tired and less sleep it seems he doesn't want to make an effort. Just to make my life a little easier. I try to get him involved in anything baby related but he just seems to think it's the mothers job to do everything and his job to work. I am currently working to and me my sister and his mother bought all of the babies things.. He has not spent a cent.. I ask him to bring my clothing back from his place. Cause really don't have much clothing that fit me anymore and he doesn't bring it and yet when I do carrying my things and I know he is staying over I take his work clothes so he doesn't have to worry about it. I ask him to Put my phone on charge cause he takes my charger at night and doesn't do that. He complains that it takes him an extra 25 minutes to get tO work from my house but doesn't care that it takes me and extra hour or that I am constantly lugging bags of clothing from mine to his and back again. I have force him to go to the shops to look at anything baby related but if he wants new jeans we can spend hours in a shopping mall and when his done he wants to go home.. I feel like I get very little emotional or physical support any advice...