It's About Time!

Finally, an experience I can really identify with. Zombies have been allowed to come and go as they please for way too long. Mixing in with the general population, in some instances genetically, giving way to a new half-human, half-zombie hybrid offspring. And while we all know that the ravenous mutant version of the zombie virus lays dormant in most of today's zombies,(making the current population manageable with controlled annual thinning*), it can mutate and become hyper contagious in their offspring upon them reaching puberty, despite their 50% human gene composition. We've never faced this kind of zombie threat before, (since zombie/zombie unions only have a survival rate among their offspring of 1 in 14,000. data still being compiled at the National Center for Zombie Studies and Control) Although nobody knows for sure exactly what today's zombie population actually is, we cannot let this threat go unchecked. The government's zombie sterilization campaign has been a laughing stock among the International zombie community. This at a time when Zombie Rights groups are gaining footholds across the country, as it's suddenly "cool" to hang out with zombies. There's only one thing anybody can say about such a turn of events. Madness. It's madness, I tell you. Hey I got nothing against zombies, personally, they're normally quiet and keep to themselves. But if we don't start paying attention people, PREPARE ourselves against, what some say, is the inevitable. Well, I don't have to remind you of the vampire/werewolf outbreak of the late 80's and early 90's. The effects of which, in this living humble American eyes, is just now really being felt.

Although my compound is still under construction, I am completely prepared for the next zombie outbreak. At either my Mom's place, (in a more urban residential setting) or out at my Grandma's place (on the outskirts of town, affectionately known as the "front lines" among locals), I am outfitted with the finest zombie control and eradication equipment developed today. Including two John Deere Z-5000s, with full front skip loading capabilities, rear mulching unit, and a self contained, bio hazard sterilization processor and baler in tow.  I'm active in my Neighborhood Zombie Watch, and have been one of the privileged to try the new ZAP 3.0 (zombie antigen protein phase 3}  And aside from it's side effects, have tested immune (so far) to accidental zombie contamination (usually zombie pus gets in my eye during close range control measures)

And although, I'm a lot older than I was when zombies started to show up on this planet's blessed living landscape, I can still swing the old pick axe handle that my Grand Daddy gave me before he passed away and became a Zombie.  And after i bashed his head in with that handle, putting him out of his undead misery once and for all, I vowed to make sure that Zombie's would never become a problem for the living. 


*Zombie season coincides with Dove Season in California, See State Zombie Control for specific rules and regulations for the local zombie hunts near you.
johnnybliss johnnybliss
41-45, M
Aug 2, 2010